


Gifted

by Hermaline75



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cultural Differences, Intersex Loki, Jotun Loki, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:18:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 46,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6895210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hermaline75/pseuds/Hermaline75
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jotuns are traditionally given a weapon when they come of age.</p><p>Loki's is a little different than most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loki had primped and fussed for hours. It was finally time. It was finally his turn.

It was already waiting for him in the great hall. His present. The box shook and growled, occasionally letting out a hideous howl. It was covered with a cloth, concealing the gift within.

Loki walked around it cautiously, pulling his cloak a little tighter around his shoulders. It was designed for someone far taller than him and trailed on the floor. He wouldn't ever have it cut though. Such inherited finery was his right. His lack of stature meant nothing as far as that was concerned.

This was meant to be his special day. He had to wear the signs of his nobility. The cloak, the jewels, the circlet... But this was not quite the gift he had been expecting.

"What _is_ it?" he asked.

"Take a look," his father said, smiling encouragingly.

Frowning lightly, Loki reached out and pulled away the cover, leaping backwards in fear as a cage was revealed, the beast within lunging at him with enough force to almost tip its container over.

It was so _ugly._ It had pink flesh and wild, bright blue eyes, like something had gone wrong in its birth. Fluffy fur patterned its skin in random patches and a sort of yellow mane hung from its head. It wore clothes of a sort, but they were like nothing Loki had ever seen before. It was not a loin cloth, but more of a second skin that wrapped around both its legs and its nethers too. And it seemed far too tight, like the creature had gotten bigger since putting it on.

"What is it?" Loki repeated.

Laufey stepped down from his throne and crouched to lay his enormous hands on his tiny child's shoulder.

"You are grown, Loki. It is right that you receive a weapon now you are of age. It is tradition. Not that you need one with your powers."

Loki couldn't help but smile at the recognition. His magic was far stronger than most, as though it was concentrated in his tiny body. He could make things appear and vanish at will, perplex his enemies with flocks of doubles, call ice to his fingertips with but a thought and shape it to a blade just as easily.

"But this is very special. It's a beserker, Loki. An Asgardian warrior."

Eyes gone wide, Loki turned to look at the creature again. It had fixed its eyes on him and bared its teeth when it caught him looking.

"I thought there were no more berserkers," he said, refusing to blink. If he was to be master of this beast, he could show no fear before it.

"The Asgardians are scattered, yes. They have no army, not since the war, and therefore no proper training for their fighters. But this one is a natural. It will be very strong. We found it wandering the empty city all alone on our last raid. Gone feral almost."

Loki finally tore his gaze away from those bright blue eyes to look up at his father.

"I don't understand. How is it a weapon for me?"

Laufey smiled as if he had been waiting for just that question, beckoning to a courtier who was standing by with a large book. It was not in the Jotun style of endless scrolls, but more like a brick of pages. Taken from Asgard during the war then. Loki watched curiously as the runes shifted and danced across the page, becoming an image of a crouched figure, poised to spring, and another standing behind it with arms raised, hands flickering with magic.

"The berserkers of old had to be managed by a partner, eased out of their rage to stop their murderous rampage. The best partners were mages, able to hold them back, channel their efforts. Imagine all that power at your call... Combined with your own abilities, you would be almost unstoppable."

Loki could imagine it almost too well. Really he knew he was too small for the traditional weapons of his homeland and had wondered what they would give to him. The spears were almost double his height, the swords much too heavy. His magic was strong, but an Asgardian...

Although, like him, they were small indeed, they were fearsome adversaries. Legends of their strength and determination still echoed across the realms despite their defeat in the great battles of a thousand years ago. Loki specialised in defence or strategic blows so a sort of attacking force would be extremely useful to him. And, of course, who would dare to giggle at the smallest prince if he had a true berserker by his side? His own attack dog that would be loyal to him and only him, that would protect him from harm...

"How do I do it?" he asked. "How do I tame it?"

"Alas, we're not quite sure. The books we have do not contain details. But you are sharp, my son. Use your skills to uncover the secret."

Loki pursed his lips and turned his attention back to the caged Asgardian. It seemed to have stopped raging, like it was listening to them, and it looked at Loki curiously as he approached.

He sat down and tried reaching out to its mind.

A swirling mass of burning anger was what he found. He gasped, feeling real heat from it, tasting blood in the back of his throat, pushing deeper in an effort to find any suggestion of what he might have to do.

A loud yell broke his concentration. It could feel what he was doing and fought against him. Interesting. That suggested it knew of magic, knew what to expect. Of course, its people did have mages, but its reaction said that it had met them before. Maybe it already had a bond with another.

He stopped pressing after a few moments of battle with its mind. Perhaps it would be easier to do this after it had calmed down a little. If it even could calm down. Berserkers were creatures of rage after all.

Loki set his jaw in determination. He would manage this. He would tame this beast.

"Can I have it taken to my chambers? I fear this might take some time and would be better if it were more comfortable. It might be feeling a little exposed out in the open like this."

The berserker - _his_ berserker - howled bitterly as the entire cage was picked up and carried into the depths of the palace.

How awful, Loki found himself thinking. For such a powerful creature to feel so powerless.

Still... soon enough, it would learn when its power was useful and when it was wasted. And then it would surely be happy. It would like having someone there to help it stay in control.

He just had to learn how to bond with it.

Bonding with an Asgardian... Surely it couldn't be too difficult.


	2. Chapter 2

He ought to name it, Loki thought. All great weapons had names.

Bonecrusher. Howling Killer. No, he shouldn't pick a name until he knew what it was capable of. Berserker would do for now.

His room in the glittering ice palace was impressive, or he thought so anyway. He had added much of it himself, layer upon layer of ice to create a rich mosiac of smooth, shining blues and silvers. The lower ceiling also had the benefit of providing extra privacy. No-one much taller than Loki could stand upright in it. It was built for him alone. And if that prevented certain brothers from coming to bother him, so much the better.

Alone with his ceilings and walls, Loki ensured that he had only the most luxurious furnishings. He could keep himself warm, of course, but why bother when he could have the most beautiful woven blankets, the softest pillows and the most elaborately carved bed? He was particularly proud of it. Wood was scarce in Jotunheim so the Vanaheim design was an object of great rarity.

Alas, as the guards pushed the cage into his chambers, his new pet seemed thoroughly unimpressed. It screamed and howled as it was carried and growled at Loki any time he approached the cage when they were alone.

Well, fine, he'd leave it to calm down for a while and turn his attention to the book instead, laying it flat on his desk for proper perusal. Perhaps it did contain some clues. Laufey could have missed something, or decided that the magic would be more closely aligned to Loki's interests and skills than his own.

Or maybe this was a test. Proving that he was indeed grown and therefore could learn how to control the berserker himself.

Yes, that seemed likely now he thought about it. His father had always been keen for him to prove himself, to prove wrong anyone who dared to judge him for his height and build. Of course, he then made it very difficult by smothering Loki with care, treating him as something precious. That suited Loki fine most of the time, but he did sometimes long for the freedom given to his brothers. He would be more powerful than all of them, he'd sworn it long ago. The monster they had given him could only help with that.

He found himself rather fascinated by the book. It didn't give him any information on how to become the mage partner of a berserker, but it did discuss the strength and power they embodied. As well as that information, it had chapters on other Asgardian battle techniques, their weapons and skills. He read about the Valkyries on their winged horses, about the great staff Gungnir. He wondered if Odin Outcast still carried that. Surely not after all these years. That was even if he was still alive.

He was just beginning a chapter on a war hammer of some importance when he realised his berserker had not made a sound for some time.

He'd turned his back on it and had a horrible fear that somehow it had loosed its bonds, ready to attack him. Magic ready, glowing at his fingertips, he spun round, only to find it cowering in one corner of the cage, arms wrapped around itself and shivering.

Of course. Poor thing would be quite frozen in this climate.

Loki considered using a spell to warm it, but based on its earlier reaction to his magic, perhaps that wasn't particularly wise. No, he ought to be kind to it. Then it would be more receptive to his bonding attempts.

He didn't want to give it one of his finer blankets though. What if it damaged it? No, he would have to find something else.

Digging through his wardrobe unearthed an old cloak that had seen far better days. The fur around the collar was a little matted from one too many washes and the deep blue cloth stained with salt from the time he had worn it to the spring festival down by the lake's edge. He did not mind risking it.

Still, caution was necessary.

The berserker looked up as he approached, eyes gone solumn and baleful, sad. Like it was coming to terms with its situation. It watched suspiciously as he pushed the edge of the cloak between the bars of the cage. Just a little.

"Go on," he said. "Take it."

He didn't know if his words were understood or not, but the creature crawled forward and snatched the cloth, wrapping it tightly around itself.

They were about the same size, so a cloak made for Loki seemed about the right size for it, shivers gradually subsiding. It breathed deeply, steadily.

And now that it was calmer...

A little growl rumbled in its throat as Loki reached out to its mind again, but it seemed less combative now that he had proved himself a friend.

Less heat now. A gentle smoulder rather than a harsh burn. Perhaps it was not fully calmed yet, but certainly it was cooling down.

Still, it seemed to have some kind of inner defences, something he couldn't get through. It was definitely reacting and responding to his efforts.

After getting snarled at for pressing too hard, he sat back on his knees and sighed.

"There's more to you than meets the eye, isn't there, berserker?"

No response, but he couldn't help feeling that the silence was one of choice, not a lack of understanding.


	3. Chapter 3

What did Asgardians eat other than the flesh of their enemies? Loki found himself unwilling to leave the berserker alone in his rooms in case it grew agitated, which meant having food brought directly.

Technically he should be down in the hall feasting with everyone else in celebration of his birth, but he was sure they would understand. He was doing something important. His father were no doubt telling anyone who would listen that this was proof of his second son's dedication to the realm, that he would put military advancements before his own enjoyment. Besides since the berserker had reacted so well to his offer of the cloak, surely food could only help in befriending it.

His own meal arrived, still almost too hot to eat, thick, creamy soup spiced with the finest imports from Alfheim. For the creature, they had sent a large slab of meat. Cooked though. He wasn't sure if it would prefer it raw, shielding himself visibly as he opened the cage just enough to push it inside. If it had any sense, it wouldn't attack.

Evidently it did have at least a little. The berserker waited until he had retreated and then looked at the offering critically, coming forward to sniff it. Then it carefully peeled a piece off and crawled towards the bars, pressing it through a space only big really enough for its fingers and grunting.

"No, it's for you. I have my own."

More insistent grunting and Loki realised what it wanted. It was scared of being poisoned. It wanted to see him eat some first.

Sighing, he approached and took the scrap, chewing and swallowing it very obviously.

"See? It's fine."

It frowned at him, a clear sign of distrust, but then took a large bite of the meat. Loki smiled in encouragement. He wanted his berserker strong and healthy.

They had sent him wine along with his meal and a large carafe of water. No other vessel though. After thinking for a moment, he poured water into the goblet for his pet and summoned ice to his fingertips, making a sort of bowl that he could drink from. It would keep the amber liquid at an optimum temperature.

But such a simple action piqued the beast's interest in a way he had not anticipated. It gasped, apparently involuntarily, gazing at him in wonder.

Perhaps it had never seen such magic before. Perhaps mind spells were all it knew.

Loki formed a small ball of ice, maybe an inch in diameter, and rolled it into the cage, watching as the berserker caught it with the slam of a hand. It was curious, picking up the slippery little object and rolling it in its hands, even going so far as to lick it. Clearly the creature produced a lot of heat, as it melted very quickly into a tiny puddle.

It looked at him expectantly, holding out its palm as though asking for another to play with. Perhaps he could use this to his advantage.

He formed a larger ball, nearly too big to fit through bars, and got a bright smile. How odd to see such an expression on such a brute. It looked... friendly. Hopeful. Nothing like the monsters he had been told about as a child.

He held up a finger and pressed against its mind again. Surely it would understand. The game in exchange for letting him in.

A huff. It clearly did understand. Loki found fewer defences, but he still couldn't get deep enough to find any secrets about the nature of berserkers. Every time he tried to slip through, he was met with a counter measure. Someone had trained this creature to withstand even skilled mental attack. Why then was it alone? Why had that person not been with it?

Clearly he wasn't going to get anywhere like this. He sighed and decided to try a different approach.

"Loki," he said, pointing to himself.

The berserker looked at him witheringly before pointing to itself in turn.

"Thor."

Loki frowned as he rolled the ball through the bars. There was something not right about that reaction. It had understood exactly what he was doing. It knew that he wanted its name, if it even had such a thing.

"Thor?" he tried.

"Yes?"

He startled. This was not right! This mindless creature shouldn't be able to understand him. He ought to have to teach it to talk, tame it, take control over it.

They shouldn't be able to just sit down and have a conversation.

"I don't understand," he said.

"Well," Thor replied, making the ice ball spin away and then roll back over and over again. "That's your problem, isn't it?"


	4. Chapter 4

Well, this was a surprise. Loki sat and watched as the... As Thor played. It seemed to be avoiding his gaze though. Perhaps it was wondering if revealing this secret so early was a mistake.

"So you are capable of speech?"

"Evidently so."

"And all that growling and snarling?"

"I am also capable of growling and snarling."

Loki frowned. Thor's voice was not unpleasant as such, but it was husky, cracked, as though it had not been used in a long time. The creature was articulate though. It could follow complex ideas.

"You've understood everything we've said around you."

"Most of it, yes."

"So you know what I want."

Spin, spin, spin, the ice ball growing smaller and smaller.

"You want to learn to control me."

It said it so plainly. The idea did not seem to bother it particularly. It did not seem afraid.

"Has it happened before?" Loki asked. "Have you been paired?"

And now Thor looked at him, confused and wondering.

"That word... You keep saying such strange things. Paired. Berserker. I do not know these things."

And now Loki was confused. Not know? But this _was_ a berserker. It should surely understand its own being, its own customs. Loki went to his desk and returned with the book, holding it up for Thor to see.

"These are your people, Asgardian. This is what you are."

Thor's eyes flicked back and forth across the page. It could even read, this monster. How odd.

"This book is from before the war."

"Aren't they all? Does anyone yet write in Asgard?"

Thor shot him a glare.

"We are diminished, not dead. We still write, even if it is mostly on walls. Ink is scarce these days. But even so, I was born three days after our final defeat. I know very little of what came before and nothing of... this."

Loki blinked at him.

"I was born three days before the last battle."

"Then it seems we are equally ignorant of life before. I know only what the survivors told me. I expect you are much the same. I wonder how different our accounts are."

What a surly beast... Then again, it had been captured and put in a cage. That might be enough to make anyone a little grumpy.

Loki closed the book and looked into those strange blue eyes.

"Why are you suddenly talking to me? Why are you suddenly cooperative?"

Thor lunged closer, apparently just to see him flinch.

"Because I knew that you weren't going to stop trying to get into my head. I got bored of your attempts. Much as I am bored of this cage. Makes me wonder if perhaps I should break free of my little captor."

Loki stammered.

"You dare try to threaten me? I could have you tortured!"

Thor smiled.

"But you won't. You want to prove that you can tame me alone. I'm just telling you, that's not the way to go about it."

What was happening here? He was supposed to have the upper hand. He would not be ordered around by some smelly, stupid Asgardian!

"You have been trained to withstand a mage's attention," he said, changing the subject.

"Yes. My mother taught me. She's a very powerful magic wielder. I dare say Asgard would have triumphed if she had been on the battleground a thousand years ago. Alas, the Norns had a different plan. But she taught me a lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Reading. Writing. Tactics. Subterfuge. Concealment... All sorts."

"Won't she be worried about you, now that you've been captured?"

Thor's face fell out of its slight smirk. Ah... Of course, Thor had been all alone. It evidently had not spoken to anyone in some time. Which meant...

"Is she dead?"

"No!" Thor spat. "But she had to leave for a while. That's all."

A nerve had been touched here. Loki was curious to know just how hard he could push.

"Is that what she told you? That she'd be back? And how long ago was that?"

Thor snarled and lauched itself against the bars of the cage, setting them rattling. It was continuing to rage and slam its hands into the metal when a low laugh echoed behind them. Loki turned to find his older brother ducking down to look into his chambers.

"So it's true," Helblindi said. "He got you a feral pet. How goes the taming?"

Thor merely glared at him, neither speaking nor reacting.

"Not very well," Loki admitted. "But I'll get there, given time."

"Hmm... Quite the specimen. Well fed, considering."

Helblindi reached out and poked a finger through the bars, laughing as Thor snapped at it, teeth bared.

"Don't antagonise it," Loki said, pulling his wrist back. "It's probably scared of you, you big brute."

"Aw, don't worry, Loki. I won't hurt the little monster. You might want to get it a muzzle before you try taking it out on a leash though. Anyway. Just popped in to say goodnight. Don't let the Asgardian bite."

Loki knew he had visibly relaxed when his brother was gone, shoulders slumping with a sigh.

"You didn't tell him we'd been talking," Thor observed.

"No. I would rather keep that a secret for now."

Thor seemed to consider this before moving to curl up in a corner of the cage, away from the pool left by the ice balls, using the trim of the cloak as a makeshift pillow.

"I'm a 'he', not an 'it'. And I'm going to sleep."

"Will you speak to me sensibly in the morning?"

"It depends what you want to talk about. If I have nothing sensible to say then I doubt it."

Even with the sound of Thor's heavy slumbering breathing, it took Loki hours to convince himself that he wasn't about to be strangled in his sleep.

Or to stop potential questions racing through his head. Where did Thor come from? Why had it... He, why had he been alone? 

Would he be willing to form an alliance given the right encouragement?

And, if so, what sort of encouragement would that be?


	5. Chapter 5

It quickly became obvious to Loki that Thor would only talk about subjects on his own terms. He was huffy and evasive and apparently had absolutely no desire to talk about warfare. Suspicions ran through Loki's mind that he was just pretending not to know how pairing would work.

"Are you going to let me out of this cage?" he asked eventually. "I would rather not mess where I sleep."

Oh, of course. Loki still hesitated though. He wasn't so sure he wanted to let such a creature out. What if he attacked?

Then again, the idea of making him... No. That was disgusting.

He went to his jewel box and found a fine length of chain, far stronger than it looked. It shouldn't be easily broken.

"Wrists behind your back."

Thor rolled his eyes.

"I just want to piss. I'm not going to do anything."

"Wrists behind your back!"

Huffing, Thor turned his back and let Loki open the cage and bind him. He groaned and stretched once he was out, muscles rippling and joints creaking a little. Loki pushed him in the direction of his washroom carefully, nervous for imminent attack.

"You do realise that if I'm going to be bound like this that you're going to have to help?"

It was just skin, Loki told himself, reaching for Thor's garment and what seemed to be ties on it. Thor shivered a little. Of course the ice stream that served as Loki's water supply did chill the air somewhat.

His clothing was filthy and ragged. Loki frowned at it, the leathery feel of it though the fabric was clearly woven.

"How long have you been wearing this?"

"Oh... Years probably. I can't remember."

Well, maybe he could do something about that. Yes, his beast ought to look as fearsome as he was. And he would no doubt be cold and would need something warm and intimidating.

It was not just skin. He ought to have guessed from the state of his chest that he would have hair here too. Even head hair was rather rare in Jotunheim. Loki considered his own rather special and he took pains to keep it shining and beautiful. Thor seemed to have no such qualms. A good wash might be an idea.

Gritting his teeth, Loki pulled the clothing all the way off, crouching behind him and seeing...

"What is that?!"

"What? Never seen a cock before? I thought you had one."

"Not that. I mean, I do, but not that. That growth. What is it?"

"My... My testicles? Don't you have those?"

Loki frowned, perplexed.

"What is it for?"

"They... They are part of reproduction I suppose. They store one of the major components."

Realising the position he was in, Loki leapt to his feet.

"You keep such an important organ outside your body?"

Thor shrugged.

"I didn't design it. You just have a cock and then skin then?"

What? Could he mean...?

Curiosity got the better of him and Loki crouched again, reaching out to move the... the testicles out of the way and feel.

"You have no opening," he said, catching a little hint of wonder in his voice.

"You mean you do?"

Loki looked up to find Thor smiling down at him and swallowed hard, standing up once more.

"Just... go and I'll prepare a bath for you. We need to sort out that hair."

Thor laughed.

"Are you blushing? My shy little captor."

Loki grasped his cock and aimed it perfunctorily.

"Get on with it."

"Mmm..."

"Stop it! Don't make me put you back in the cage."

He carefully didn't look as he steered Thor towards the bath, diverting the stream to fill it and heating the water. He guessed that Thor would prefer that.

"This would be a lot easier if you unbound me. I won't bite."

Loki didn't reply. The water was already grimy when he pushed on Thor's head, dunking him to wet his hair and setting about lathering his soap.

"Will you behave if I leave you here for a time? I think you could do with new clothes."

"You are so frightened of me."

"I am not afraid. I am merely mistrustful."

"I give you my word not to move from this tub. But unbind me first. I would wash properly. Please."

He hesitated for a while, finishing washing his hair, but on balance, it wasn't as though Thor would get far if he did try to escape, especially wet as he was. He'd freeze.

The chain slipped off easily and Thor sighed, stretching his arms as Loki left. As an afterthought, he locked the door. Just in case.

What to dress Thor in? He would need to be covered more than a giant due to the cold. A tunic perhaps. Something with movement. That would take some time to be made, but a simple covering would do for now. Something to hide that strange body he had.

Strange indeed.

No cunt? How did they give birth? Thor had spoken of a mother, a 'she'. Loki had assumed the pronoun was an honourific, given to one who had borne children. But perhaps not. Perhaps they were built very differently.

He visited the palace tailor, one of his favourite places. They loved to make clothes for him, showing off their fine stitching on such small garments.

"I need clothing for my berserker," he said, looking around for anything suitable for Thor.

"How large is the creature?" the tailor asked, already making notes, quick to fulfil the little prince's requests.

"As tall as myself but a deal wider. It will need to be warm. They are not built for such climates as ours. And I want it to fit his nature. It should be intimidating."

Nodding. He trusted them. They would make him a masterpiece.

"In the meantime, would you cut a hole in a cheap cloak for me? A belt on it will make a sort of robe for him. Just for the moment."

They sewed the edges up for him too, a rich blue fabric. It would be a little like wearing a blanket, but surely that would be good for Thor.

There was no sound from the washroom. Loki opened the door silently, catching just the hint of a grunt.

The water moved rapidly, frantically, and Loki realised what he was seeing. Thor was pleasuring himself, stroking that cock that Loki had touched so recently. He let out a little noise of surprise.

Thor looked over at him, but didn't stop what he was doing, breathing hard as he spilled in the water. He must have been very close.

"Have you no shame?" was all Loki managed to say.

Thor shrugged.

"I was pent up. You've never felt the urge?"

Loki felt his cheeks go indigo, nearly the same colour as the robe he was carrying.

"None of your business!"

"I'd recommend it. If I had as many options as you, I dare say I would take time to enjoy myself."

Loki huffed, reaching for a towel and looking away.

"I do not need to... That."

"Well, no wonder you are so tense. A nice orgasm would..."

"Be quiet!"

He proffered the towel, trying to regain his composure. He tried not to think of such things. He had no partner of course. A finger of another giant was almost the same size as his cock. He didn't want anyone to see him, how little he was, how...

"Here. Put this on."

Thor made a face, his hair dripping on the cloth.

"It's a sack."

"It's better than you had before. Now, come."

A surprised look now, a little frown, like Thor couldn't believe he was being ordered.

"You belong to me, Thor. You have to get used to that."

He carefully didn't flinch as Thor growled, approaching until they were eye to eye.

"I don't belong to anyone. I will be free again."

Loki laughed, trying to sound more confident than he was.

"You know you can't escape."

Thor grinned back at him.

"Oh, I'm just biding my time."


	6. Chapter 6

After a few weeks, the truth became clear. Thor was without a doubt the most irritating being Loki had ever come across. And he seemed to be quite useless too.

Loki took him down to the training yard in secret to see what he could do. He had no finesse to him at all, merely using brute force to destroy the huge training dummies. Effective, but hardly the efficient killing machine Loki had hoped for. Powerful, but graceless. Raw and untrained.

Of course, his father asked about his progress and he was forced to lie. He said he was breaking through the beast's defences. Soon he would have him under control. Of course, Father. Any day now, Father.

In truth, he doubted having control of Thor would even be worth it. He was not a creature of unbending force. He was just deeply annoying.

"Tell me about Asgard," he asked one day, determined to make the best of things. Maybe Thor would have some useful intelligence.

"Haven't you been? From a distance, I have seen many raiding parties in my time. Not that we have much worth taking."

"Yes, Thor, I know, we are monsters and thieves... You've been very clear about that."

"And I am a beast who ought not speak."

That was another thing. Thor did not talk around anyone else. Whenever Helblindi or Laufey or even a servant visited, he reverted to grunts and growls. It was not something they had spoken about, but he seemed to have decided it was in his best interests to appear mindless and snarling.

Perhaps he feared interrogation if he revealed himself. Or maybe he just enjoyed playing with Loki, behaving badly to show that he was not yet tamed. Showing him up deliberately just to irritate him.

Not that he needed to go to such efforts to annoy. Although Thor still slept in the cage, he otherwise mainly lounged around in Loki's chambers, reading his books, touching his things and frequently making use of the bath, all without asking. He would not obey. He would not admit to knowing anything about the bonding process. He would not treat Loki as his superior but more as a verbal sparring partner.

Loki tried threats. He tried aggression. He tried ignoring all Thor's attempts at provoking an argument, which seemed to be his favourite sport, in an attempt to bore him.

Eventually, he resorted to bargaining.

"Look, Thor, you know what I want. There must be things that you want. I am a prince. I can obtain most things. Why don't you cooperate with me and I can try to cooperate with you?"

Thor raised an incredulous eyebrow. He was wearing one of his new outfits, a black cape over leather. It made his skin stand out even more in contrast. It would be very intimidating were it not for Thor's casual lounging. He looked more like an unenthusiastic mercenary than a loyal warrior.

"The things I want are not in your power to give. You overestimate your abilities, I think."

"You underestimate my determination."

Thor seemed to consider this, weighing it up in his mind.

"Your magic," he said thoughtfully. "Can you use it to locate people?"

"I could learn to do that, yes."

Thor chewed on his lower lip, more unsure than Loki had ever seen him. He was on to something here. It seemed he had found some potential leverage.

"What would you want me to do? I am unable to perform this pairing you keep speaking of. I don't know what it is or how to do it. But I could... pretend."

Loki sat up excitedly.

"Yes! It would be easy. You would merely follow me as I go about my day, look intimidating, sit with me, attack when I order and come when I call you."

"Be your pet in other words. Will you stroke me when I am good?"

Loki pointedly ignored that little suggestion.

"Who do you want me to find?" he asked instead.

He saw the decision in Thor's eyes. The clear sign that he had balanced his dignity with his desires and made a deal within himself.

"My mother," he said quietly. "I want to find her. Can you do that?"

"Of course," Loki said, unsure if he really could but saying so anyway. "It will take me some time, but I will."

Thor cautiously held out a hand and Loki shook it, heart dancing. His own tame berserker! Helblindi and Byleister would hardly be able to keep their eyes in their heads when they walked down the palace corridors together.

"How do you feel about a collar?"

"Don't push your luck, Loki."


	7. Chapter 7

"Thor, heel."

He felt so _powerful._ Thor followed him into the great hall, a constant strength and presence, an open threat. Whispers and murmurs of surprise followed them as he strolled up to take his tiny throne by his father's side.

Laufey's face was bright with pride, eyes narrowed in a smile as Loki took his place, letting his clothes swirl around him as he practically twirled into his seat.

"Thor, sit."

Without a hint of annoyance, Thor settled at his feet, like the well-trained beast he was pretending to be.

"I knew you could do it," Laufey said softly. "But why have you named it Thor? Why not something more fitting?"

Ah. Stupid. Of course he should have chosen a name himself, something bloodcurdling and vicious.

"I discovered his name when I looked into his mind."

That seemed to pass muster and Laufey turned away to begin hearing the day's business. It did not escape Loki's notice that several petitioners kept their eyes trained on Thor. They were so afraid of him, like the wrong word might bring him down upon them. And, yes, Loki didn't doubt that his Asgardian would be a fierce fighter if pressed, but at the same time he mainly just seemed to want food, sleep and pleasure.

And his mother, of course. Loki had collected several scrolls from the library on location magic as soon as they had made their agreement and would start learning that evening. He did not want to lose Thor's tentative trust if he did not seem to be taking the quest seriously.

Thor let out a low growl as Helblindi arrived, late as usual. He laughed and roughly patted him on the head.

"Having fun dressing up your beast, Loki? Very intimidating."

"Leave him be. He bites."

"I bet that's fun."

Thor snapped at his hand almost playfully, as though demonstrating.

"He understands us then?"

"Of course. How do you think he knows what I'm telling him to do?"

"But still no speech."

"He can talk. He just doesn't. He has nothing much to say."

"Did you find anything interesting in his mind?" Laufey asked. "Information about how their society is? Where Odin Outcast has dragged his sorry carcass to perhaps?"

"No," Loki said, pretending he had even tried. He'd asked, but Thor didn't seem to recognise the name of the Aesir king. "He was alone. He was scratching out a living. An existence really. He's much happier here."

Thor growled and Helblindi laughed. Loki shot him a look for daring to undermine him. That was not the way he ought to behave.

"And what about controlling his rage?" Laufey continued. "Have you mastered that? Will he be of use on the battlefield?"

"Soon. I am working on establishing our bond first. It is not enslavement. He has to trust me. It is a partnership after all."

He could tell Helblindi was struggling not to laugh again and sighed. Thor was supposed to prevent him being laughed at!

He said as much to him when they were alone again.

"You would rather I snapped and snarled, like I wasn't tame at all?"

"I would rather you didn't play with my brother. You are mine."

"What happened to 'it is not enslavement'?"

"It's not. It's indenture."

Thor scoffed. He had a point, though Loki was not going to admit that. He was a prisoner. A well fed, well treated prisoner, but all the same. He slept in a cage still. He was spoken about as though he didn't understand, like he wasn't there.

"You would rather still be starving then? Back in the wasteland that was once Asgard? Who feeds and clothes you, Thor?"

His face grew stormy, mouth twisted. Loki prepared himself for yelling, snarling, even attack, but instead Thor clamped his mouth shut and crawled into his cage, the old cloak still serving as his nest.

After a few moments, Loki sighed.

"Is that it? You're not talking to me now?"

"I have nothing much to say," Thor said through gritted teeth.

Loki glared at his curled form before huffing dramatically and flopping back on his bed.

No gift should be this much trouble.


	8. Chapter 8

There was no way around it. The only way to trace someone through magic was through having something physically connected to them. A hair. A nail clipping. Something. And he did not have anything of Thor's mother.

Well... except Thor himself.

"I need a hair from you."

Thor looked at him suspiciously. They hadn't spoken since their little fight the night before, sitting through a thoroughly awkward dinner and both grumpily going to bed early. It was natural to be suspicious. Loki could be casting any sort of spell on him.

"To locate your mother, I need something connected with her and you are all I have. Just a hair. Or a drop of blood. I need it."

Thor pursed his lips and crawled out of his cage.

"Show me," he said. "Let me watch."

"You'll find it very dull. It will just be me with my eyes closed."

A slight wince as the fearsome berserker tugged out a hair.

"Talk to me while you do it then. Tell me what you're seeing."

Well, he couldn't begrudge him that.

They sat on the floor opposite each other, the hair sitting in a little bowl between them. Loki shrugged off his cape and closed his eyes, laying a finger onto the blonde hair to feel connected to it.

Search, search...

It was difficult with Thor so close by. He pulsed with light, blinding, and Loki had to fight and concentrate to throw his mind far away, over to Asgard.

It was a smaller realm than Jotunheim, but still sizable. Searching it was difficult. It was like looking for a single speck of glitter in a whole field.

He persevered though. He had given his word that he would do this.

"What do you see?" Thor asked.

His voice came to Loki as though whispered or echoing from far away. Loki's head jerked. He was unused to speaking while performing complex feats like this.

"Asgard... I see Asgard. The ruined city... Mountains. You have so much water."

"Do you see her?"

"I"m trying! These things cannot be rushed."

He pushed on beyond the city. That was where Thor had been after all. His mother was not there. Elsewhere then.

It was a somewhat dangerous thing to do, this spell. An unchecked mage might forget to eat, exhaust himself. Still, he wanted to give Thor something. A hint. A clue. Confirmation that his mother yet lived.

His mind's eye explored the range of snow-covered peaks that provided natural defence to the main city complex. There was... something there. A glimmer. Faint, but definite. He followed it, weaving through valleys and craggy rocks.

"There's something here."

"What? Where?"

"Just beyond the city. In the... The hills."

Thor didn't respond to that. Which might mean he was surprised or the exact opposite.

"Cave... In a cave."

There was smoke. A fire. A figure warming themselves.

Loki frowned.

"I think I see her. She certainly looks like you. You have the same... Same eyes. Same facial hair."

The image was becoming clearer the more he looked, the necessary power diminishing his attention on other things. He was vaguely aware that Thor was speaking, sounding confused, but he couldn't focus on that.

The figure - Thor's mother - suddenly jerked their head up, sensing him and Loki gasped as he realised this person was known to him. He retreated quickly, yanking his hand back from the hair as though afraid he might be followed through it right into his room.

He was panting. Horrified.

"Your mother is Odin Outcast?" he stammered.

Thor looked at him carefully, concerned.

"I just said, you must have made a mistake. My mother cannot have a beard. That was someone else. An error."

"It cannot have been. If not your mother then your father. That spell will only find close blood relatives."

"No. Impossible. My father is dead."

"Thor, I just saw him, alive and living in a cave above the ruined palace. He could not have been much more than a few miles away from it."

Thor's eyes flickered back and forth, confused and lost. And Loki realised something that he struggled to believe.

Thor was more than he seemed and didn't know it.


	9. Chapter 9

"You're wrong," Thor said. "He's dead."

"I saw him, Thor. I know what he looks like. We have images of him. Why didn't you tell me you were a prince?"

Thor frowned at him, genuinely confused it seemed.

"A prince? Don't be ridiculous."

Could it be? Could he somehow not know?

"What do you know about your father?" Loki asked.

Thor seemed distressed, waving his hands vaguely.

"He died during the war. I never felt the need to know anything else. He is dead. That is the truth, that's what my mother told me."

"And she is Frigga."

"I... How do you know?"

"Queen Frigga, Allmother, consort to Odin. Not heard from since the war. I always assumed they went missing together but perhaps not."

He understood the concept of a queen, though Jotunheim didn't have one. What purpose would they have for a secondary ruler? Laufey had carried all his children, avoiding any doubt of their parentage. His partner had died years ago, soon after Byleister was born. Loki couldn't really remember him, but knew he had had no political power as such. Certainly not the kind consorts in other realms did.

"She's not a... You're wrong, Loki. I'm no-one. It must be a coincidence that she has the same name as the queen."

"That is a big coincidence, Thor."

His mind was racing. Thor was not just an untrained Asgardian warrior, but prince of the realm, equal in birth to himself. He was heir to the throne, for goodness' sake! That gave him a higher rank in fact. Helblindi was the crown prince here.

Why would his mother lie to him? Why not tell him of his true identity? Why tell him his father was dead if it was not so?

Did she not know? Had Odin banished himself alone instead of returning to his queen and his newborn child? Could that be the reason then? He knew Queen Frigga was shrewd and intelligent. The real power of Asgard, they said, was that she was there to help advise the Allfather. Perhaps, fearing civil war after the last battle, she had gone into hiding with her son, not even revealing the truth of his birth to him. In which case, why had she now abandoned him? If Thor was right and she yet lived, why had he been all alone?

The rightful king of Asgard slept in a cage in his chambers. What a turn of events. If Laufey ever found out...

Hmm. Well, he would probably try to torture the location of Odin out of him, information that Loki was fairly certain Thor did not possess. His protests were too vehement, his shock too real to be fabricated.

Laufey might even kill him. In the future, Thor might rebuild Asgard, train and raise an army, come to Jotunheim to wreak his revenge. Such a threat could not go unchecked.

Loki already knew he was not going to tell. He already felt the bare bones of a plan, a vague inkling of an idea. Jotunheim would likely never be his, not while Helblindi lived, and history tended to look poorly on fratricide.

But Asgard should be Thor's. And Thor was his.

They could rebuild the realm eternal, make peace with Jotunheim, keep the scattered people happy with Thor as a puppet king and Loki pulling all his strings.

"I will look again for your mother," he said, approaching the bowl once more. "And when I have an idea of her location, we shall travel to Asgard together and find her."

Thor seemed suspicious, perhaps justifiably so.

"Why would you help me? Is this a trick?"

"Certainly not. But I have an arrangement to suggest. If you are as you say an ordinary man and I am satisfied that your parents are not the Allfather and Allmother, I will give you your freedom. But if you are, as I suspect, a prince, then you will share Asgard with me. We will rule it together."

Thor hesitated to join hands with him, still wary.

"You would wish to rule a wasteland?" he asked.

"It was not always like this. Asgard may yet rise again. Between us, we could prevent another war."

A few moments more and Thor agreed, his comparatively huge hand enclosing Loki's almost completely.

"I look forward to my freedom," he said. "For you are wrong."

Loki smiled sweetly at him.

"Let's wait and see, shall we?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Out of the question!" Laufey roared over dinner. "Go to Asgard? What a ridiculous scheme."

Loki scowled down at his food, a tiny side plate compared to everyone else's. As a child, he had demanded his fair share, the same portion as his brothers, but had to stop after overindulging to the point of sickness one too many times.

"You let Byleister go and he is younger than me," he said petulantly.

Even now the third prince was off gallavanting in Niflheim or Muspelheim or some other place.

"He goes in a group. He does not go all alone with a half-feral berserker. What if it kills you? What if you're attacked by its friends?"

Loki huffed. He was tired from spending his day hunting for Thor's mother. The mountains where he had seen Odin were now shrouded in mist, an obvious concealment spell. The old man was either sloppy or uncaring. But he thought he had found someone else in a different mountain range on the opposite side of a great plain that dominated the landscape. The trace was faint, but it seemed as good a place as any to start looking for Frigga.

Not that he was telling his father about that. He'd come up with a foolproof story to explain his sudden desire to travel.

"I am small, Father. I will disguise myself as an Asgardian. And Thor will protect me. I need to take him to his homeland to complete the bonding process. When we return, I will have taken full control."

Thor shot him a look from his place on the floor, his bowl of scraps already almost empty. He was intelligent enough not to make a noise though. He wanted this plan to come to fruition just as much as Loki did.

Laufey drummed his huge fingers against the table.

"It needs to happen there?" he asked. "You can't finish it here?"

"Thor needs to be at ease and comfortable for it to work. He is always on edge here, poor thing. I need to take him to his home. His nest."

Thor rolled his eyes. Loki resisted the urge to kick him.

Still showing reluctance, Laufey sighed.

"Show me your disguise then. Let me see how well you pass for Aesir."

Ah... In fact, Loki hadn't thought about that. Still, he had the height. He just had to concentrate on his outward appearance a little.

Asgardians came in a vast array of shades, but Thor's colouring would be easy to copy. He began pushing, wiping away his natural blue and his heritage lines, feeling strangely naked without them. He left his hair as it was though. One less thing to worry about. There, smooth peach skin, just like Thor's. As an afterthought, he gave himself a little body fur too on his chest and under his arms. Perfect, surely.

Thor coughed urgently, pointing insistently at his eyes.

Oh, of course.

A blink and the crimson was gone. In his goblet, Loki could see his new face reflected, glancing to check that he'd been successful.

Well, he was very handsome, even if he said so himself. Long, shining hair that made his skin shine in comparison, delicate but sharp features, lean muscle with just a light dusting of hairs and bright green eyes.

Hmm... He'd been aiming for blue, a similar shade to Thor's, but this would suffice.

"Good enough?" he asked.

"I'd say," Helblindi said. "Your pet might fall in love with you."

He was trying to help, but Loki still glared at him. Always a joke, always a little comment to undermine him. Loki was grown now, he should have respect from everyone, even his big brother.

Besides, Thor wasn't interested in him in that way. Curious about his body perhaps, but not with any kind of romantic overtones.

"Do I have leave to go, Father?" he asked testily. "I will be careful, I swear."

Still frowning, Laufey threw up his hands in defeat.

"Fine. But you will need supplies, Asgardian clothes, medicine... You cannot just get up and leave tomorrow. Prepare first."

Loki let the disguise go, watching as his hands grew blue once more.

"Thank you," he said. "I promise I won't disappoint."

Under the table, Thor patted his knee. _Well done._

Loki gave him a vague hair ruffle in response. They could talk later.


	11. Chapter 11

Thor did not like the fact that they had to delay for a week, but it really was necessary. New clothes had to be made for both of them, far less fine than the kind Loki was used to. They needed to take at least some food, though Loki was sure Thor would be able to find some for them - he had not managed to survive for so long by chance after all. A tent was a necessity and with it came awkward questions.

"Are you going to sleep in the same space as it or make it stay outside?"

"I... I don't know. It will depend if it's cold, I expect. We are going up into the mountains and it would be cruel to make him shiver."

Oh, the looks of disgust. How ridiculous. Thor was practically as clean as a Jotun. It would be no hardship to share.

Still, it worried him a little. Thor still slept in his cage, though with more blankets and pillows now. What if this was all a long trick and Thor killed him during the night while he was alone and defenceless? He would be free then.

"Can I trust you?" Loki asked while preparing for bed the night before they were due to go.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I say. Can I trust you when you say you will adhere to our agreement? That you won't... murder me when we are alone?"

"And lose the only person with half an idea of where my mother might be? Why would I do that?"

"You'd be free."

Thor sighed, fluffing one of his pillows fussily.

"I had been alone for five years when your people captured me. Five years with only myself and my own thoughts for company. It was not as... It was not so pleasant. I want companionship. I want my mother. You are my best chance at finding her. You can trust me, Loki. I need you more than you need me at present I think."

Loki paused, not yet blowing out his lamp.

"I will need you though," he said. "I do not know the landscape or what foods are good to eat or even how to start a fire without magic. We can trust each other."

Thor made a gentle sound of agreement.

He was not so bad, Loki supposed. Since the revelations about his parentage had come to light, Loki had found himself increasingly thinking of Thor as more equal to himself. More worthy. And it would not be a terrible thing to rule together. They would probably do better together than, say, Loki and Helblindi would. Asgard would flourish.

Loki slipped out from his blankets and approached the cage.

"Come on," he said. "Come sleep in the bed with me."

Thor's eyes shone in confusion, reflecting the candlelight.

"Why?"

"We might as well get used to sharing. Besides, you deserve a night of luxury. You have been... accommodating to my requirements after all."

Still looking wary, Thor obediently crawled out of his makeshift bed and made his way over to Loki's, moaning happily at the feel of the soft feather mattress and at having the space to stretch out.

Loki gingerly slid between the sheets again, carefully ensuring there was space between them before extinguishing the candle.

"Thank you," Thor said after a while.

"You're welcome. Get some rest. We'll need it for the journey tomorrow."

In truth, he was too excited to go to sleep right away. Asgard... He had never actually been. He'd seen pictures of how it used to be before the war and he had thrown his mind there, but to actually go... And more than that, to be on a quest to find a missing queen, to restore a prince to his birthright, to claim a realm of his own.

What an adventure it would be.

He was a little less pleased the following morning when he woke in a tangle of limbs that were not his own. He couldn't even escape; his attempts to wriggle away only seemed to make Thor's grip tighten.

It was not just his arms either, there was a leg hooked around him, pinning him in place. Struggling wildly finally made Thor grunt and awaken, bleary-eyed and confused.

"Get off me," Loki hissed over his shoulder.

Thor blinked and rolled away, one arm still held beneath Loki's neck.

"What were you doing, holding me like that?"

Thor yawned and shrugged, apparently ready for a few more hour's sleep.

"It was an unconscious gesture. I'm sorry."

Loki could feel his cheeks heating up at just the thought that they had been lying like... like lovers. Thor chuckled at him, looking out from beneath heavy eyelids.

"Did you like it?" he asked. "Being snuggled?"

"No! You're like an oven. I thought I would suffocate."

Thor held up his hands in supplication.

"Alright, alright, I said I was sorry. I'll try not to cuddle you while we're away. Nor anything else untoward before you get that idea in your head."

"What idea?"

"Nothing. Forget I mentioned it."

Loki was still troubled as he fled to the washroom. What could Thor be talking about if not...? Well, surely he couldn't be suggesting that they...?

He slammed the door back open, glaring at the pile of blankets.

"I'm not going to have sex with you," he said. "Let's make that clear now."

Thor laughed.

"Oh, Loki, I was only teasing. I didn't mean anything by it. Of course not. You're too..."

His face must be a beacon of embarrassment now.

"Too ugly?"

"That's not what I was going to say. You're too innocent, that was the word I was looking for."

"Innocent?!" Loki stammered. "I'm not a child. I know how sex works."

"I never said you didn't. But, well, you never so much as touch yourself. I assume you are uninterested. It would be quite the surprise if you suddenly felt the pulls of the flesh. And don't worry, I'll be sure to find a secluded spot whenever I feel the urge."

How could he speak about it so openly? Loki closed the door again and tried to get his thoughts back to Asgard and the purpose at hand and not...

Well, not hands being put to other purposes.


	12. Chapter 12

Loki locked the door and irritably set the stream to fill his bath. This might be his last chance for a proper, luxurious soak for a while, after all.

Who did Thor think he was to talk to him like that? Like he was... What was it? Uninterested? Not at all, there was just no point to it. He could have someone if he wanted to. He could have _Thor_ if he wanted to. It would be easy.

Ugh, no, he was not having such thoughts.

But it would be, all the same. Thor did not seem to have much self-control when it came to food; why would he have any when it came to sex?

Of course, he hadn't always had food readily available. A mere glance at him eating could reveal that. He always ate with ferocity, as though he feared his food would be taken away. It was a natural reaction to going without.

Having been alone for so long, presumably he could not have been indulging physically with anything other than his hand for all those years. Given the right circumstance, Loki could easily start looking very tempting indeed.

Almost too easily.

Loki frowned as he slipped into the water, rich with scented oils, and leant back against the edge.

He didn't think Thor would ever attack him. He never stole food after all, even if he did eat what he was given with gusto. No, he only accepted what was offered. He wouldn't have to worry about Thor deciding to take without permission.

Whether or not he would stop if Loki changed his mind before...

Why was he even thinking about this? He had no intention of ending up in a position to change his mind, he had no intention of even making the suggestion to Thor at all.

So why were his thoughts stubbornly stuck on the sensation of Thor's arms around his? Why was he still feeling that warmth? Why was he imagining what might have happened if he hadn't struggled, if he had rolled over instead, if he had reached down...?

Where had this come from? Was he so desperate for attention and respect that he would give himself up to the first being that didn't treat him like a vulnerable child? Thor was a means to an end and nothing more, he certainly wasn't spouse material.

Loki scrubbed at his skin irritably, knowing that this would be the last time for weeks or even months that he would see his own real flesh, his own real hands. His own real body.

He looked down at it critically. Slender was probably the best word for it. Nothing about him could even remotely be called muscular. Lean, perhaps. His brothers, even if there weren't the same obvious discrepancies between them, were still obviously built on a much larger scale. Thor's body was closer to theirs in terms of shape, all arm and bulk. He was close to the ideal shape for a giant, if a little too broad in comparison to his height. He had the kind of body that Loki had hoped to grow into, had at times envied and other times admired.

Maybe that explained it. He was out of adolescence, had otherwise conquered his bodily urges, maybe this was just another natural desire that had nothing to do with him actually actively wanting something. Helblindi had a whole gaggle of sexual partners after all and seemed fairly indescriminant in his choices. Maybe his body was just responding to having someone about the right size nearby. Loki found himself trying to remember what his cock had been like, but he'd tried not to look too closely. It was probably huge. It would be typical of his luck that Thor would have what he didn't in that department too.

He sighed. Perhaps Thor was right and he was pent up, frustrated. Masturbation had never held much fascination for him. Of course, he wasn't exactly practised. He'd tried, back when his body first started to lengthen and change and he'd first started to notice other people. But it was always made clear to him. Too small, too delicate, too breakable for sex. And after a few attempts to slip a finger or two inside of himself had mostly resulted in discomfort and wrist cramp, the idea of anything bigger somehow didn't appeal and as for his cock...

He scowled at it. So small. There was a reason he insisted that his clothes were loose below the waist. He wanted no-one to know that he was just as small all over. Any spouse would have to get used to the fact that they would have to find other ways to be intimate for surely he couldn't please them with what nature had gifted him.

Of course, he had despaired about that for a long time. He would be unable to bear children, even a child half a size larger than himself would be too dangerous. He would therefore be followed by whispers that any he did have were not really his own, especially since siring them would be more of a duty than a passion, a medical decision primarily. If they did not share his... condition, rumours would abound that he was cuckolded and couldn't keep his spouse satisfied. 

And although sometimes the idea of a partner, someone to be open and honest with, appealed immensely, the idea of a spouse who would have to bend in two to kiss him and could easily pick him up and carry him around like an infant did not. He used to dream of meeting someone else like him, someone who fit into his Loki-sized world. There were others like him, but none among the nobles. He was kept away from them. Sometimes he would daydream that one of those commoners would turn out to be a long lost earl or viscount and marry him, come and join him in his little bed and his little room, a twin little throne beside his own.

Stupid fantasies. Just his mind running away with itself.

So...

So it could only be expected that his body, so starved of carnality, might react to Thor. And it was good that he realised it now. This way he could cultivate his self control and make sure that nothing untoward happened on their visit to Asgard.

Right.

Good.

That was that, then.


	13. Chapter 13

Asgardian clothing was _awful._ That was Loki's opinion of it anyway. The tailors had worked from descriptions given by the few raiding parties who had seen such garments and adapted them slightly to ensure a good fit and easy movement.

"How does it... fasten?" he asked Thor grumpily, struggling with the ties on the... leg clothes.

"Just laces. Cross and pull."

A bit more fiddling managed to get them closed but he was loathe to pull them tight like Thor did. It wasn't exactly ideal. A few steps and the cloth dropped to mid-hip.

"Come here," Thor said, already reaching for him. "I'll do it. They won't stay up like that."

A halfhearted attempt to get away did nothing and he struggled to keep his composure as Thor pulled on the ties, making the fabric cling to his flesh and...

"Oh..." Thor said.

"What?" Loki hissed.

"No, nothing."

He hurried away and Loki's face burned. Thor had felt it, he knew, felt how small he was...

Well, so what? What did he care what Thor thought? This was just habitual embarrassment, nothing more.

Still...

"Don't your people have anything more... concealing? Like a robe or something draping?"

"Well... Yes, but only women tend to wear that kind of thing. I believe soldiers would wear an armoured sort of skirt, but, well, we are civilians. Everyone is, more or less. You can always use your cape if you are... you know, self-conscious. But it is unlikely that we will meet anyone out there. Everyone hides these days. At least, I assume so. Or maybe they've all left now. There's no reason to be embarrassed. Breeches suit you."

Loki bristled, wrapping his very mud-coloured cape about himself all the same.

"Let's just go, shall we?" he said. "Give ourselves a chance to find a suitable place to pitch camp."

He loaded Thor up with the majority of their equipment. He was the stronger after all. He might as well make himself useful.

"How do you travel between realms?" Thor asked curiously. "You have no Bifrost here, or so I thought."

"Indeed. But we do have the power of the casket. That is all the Bifrost was, just another focused power source. It's more a tool than a weapon, whatever your realm thought of it."

He would have to change, hide his skin before they landed, but he found himself delaying. How long would he have to keep this up? Certainly until they found Thor's mother... or father.

Yes, that was another thing. He hadn't told Thor that he wouldn't mind finding Odin Outcast if it came to that. Laufey would very much like to confirm the rumour that his old enemy yet lived in vastly reduced circumstances.

But he had given his word. He would prioritise finding Queen Frigga. For one thing, she would be able to verify Thor's identity. And then Thor would ascend to the throne and keep his side of the bargain and Loki could throw off his enchantment, revealing his cerulean skin, and stroll back into Jotunheim as the joint ruler of the realm eternal.

How jealous his brothers would be! How proud his father that Little Loki had achieved what none of them could. Not only would he rule, but with Thor as his front, the Asgardians would be glad of it.

Those were the thoughts he forced to the fore of his mind as he concealed his true form and bade his family farewell. He should have done this years ago, travelling the nine realms as was his right, but he couldn't deny that he was a little scared as he and Thor stepped into the dome around the casket.

A flash of light. A rush of wind. Thor yelling somewhere to his left. And then the ground coming up beneath him quickly, too quickly, oh, _Norns..._

He slammed into the earth with a grunt, managing to cushion his fall a little. Groaning from Thor at least assured him that he hadn't been the only one to have a rough landing.

"Ow... What the...?"

Loki rolled over with some effort. He was going to be bruised everywhere.

"They didn't calibrate it for us," he panted. "That was enough energy to send two full-sized Jotuns, not people of our size. Anything broken?"

Thor crawled over to him, joining him in lying on his back and staring at the dull, grey sky.

"I don't think so. Just let me rest for a minute."

"Good idea. Just to get our breaths."

They lay wheezing until Thor suddenly laughed, immediately groaning and clutching his ribs as it no doubt sent pain racing through him.

"Welcome to Asgard, Prince Loki."


	14. Chapter 14

Asgard was...

Well, it had...

It certainly...

No. There was no way around it. The golden realm was looking rather tarnished and run down. They had landed in some kind of formal garden... Or what might have been, once. The thousand years since the war had rather let it go wild.

Great bushes stood where once neatly trimmed hedges had been. Thorns surrounded a group of carefully spaced trees that might once have been an orchard, paths cracked and overrun by new shoots. Gravel was scattered everywhere and great black walls surrounded them on three sides.

No... Not black. Once he'd hauled himself up with the help of a thick shrub and staggered over to one, he found the blackness rubbed off on his hands, revealing gold beneath. Soot then.

"This place burned," he murmured. "But the plants survived. Someone must have saved them."

He glanced around, trying to get his bearings. A garden, a walled garden so that meant...

The palace. They'd landed inside the palace. Thor's rightful seat.

"Have you been here before?" he asked.

"No. No, we never came here. We couldn't. It's haunted."

Loki scoffed.

"Haunted? You believe in ghosts, do you?"

"Not by ghosts. The gatekeeper. He yet stays here. Waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

Thor shrugged. He seemed to be more badly hurt than he was pretending to be, limping slightly and groaning quietly.

"We should go in," Loki said, starting to look for a doorway. "We should rest a while."

"There's... Ah, there's nothing in there. Everything of any use was taken long ago."

"I don't doubt it. But at least it's shelter. And you need to lie down. You're injured."

"I'll be fine."

He winced with every step. A broken rib? A sprained hip? Loki wasn't sure, but it wasn't good in any case and he felt obliged to struggle with all the bags and help Thor up a short flight of stairs and into the palace.

Inside wasn't much better than out. Thor was right, anything of value or use had been removed, leaving eerily empty rooms echoing with their footsteps.

Still, the faded glamour was still striking. The rooms were enormous, all columns and shining walls, arched ceilings and polished floors.

He managed to find a sort of bench in front of a long-unused brazier and made Thor lie upon it, pressing lightly upon his chest to try to find his injury.

"It's not so bad..." Thor protested.

"Hush. Tell me where it hurts. I have no time for your forced strength."

Thor pulled a face but brought his hand up to his left side, hissing at the action.

"I think one of the tent poles caught me when I landed. But it's nothing, I just need to walk it off."

Loki rolled his eyes at him, poking at his flesh with a view to at least help a little. Bruises would heal by themselves, but a fracture would need a little magical help if it wasn't to slow them down. Thor flinched away from him.

"Keep still."

"It hurts."

"Such a baby..."

Magic flared beneath his palm, glittering and gleaming off the walls. In that flash, he could see how beautiful the palace must have been once. How beautiful it would be again. After repairs. And a good clean.

Thor sat up, touching his ribs gingerly.

"Better?" Loki asked. "Ready to explore?"

A little smile played around his lips, eyes a little misty.

"My mother used such spells on me when I was small. When I'd fallen and hurt myself. It's strange. I'd become so used to having to suffer through healing, I'd forgotten how easy it could be."

Loki had no interest in his reminiscence. No-one was occupying the palace thanks to the spectral gatekeeper, who probably didn't exist. Perhaps there were yet beds to be found. Perhaps they would not need the tent right away after all.

Still, eerily quiet as it was, there could be scavengers around. They ought to keep their bags with them.

Thor stood up and swung his arms a little, as though testing the skill of Loki's magic, before obediently picking up his share of the packs and following.

Though undoubtedly items had been taken, Loki quickly felt that much of the palace was immoveable, built-in. They found more rooms with braziers and benches, a sort of mess hall where the guards would once have taken their meals.

And eventually...

Loki gasped as the great doors creaked open to reveal the biggest room they had yet seen. It felt more like his home, built on a scale that even giants would fit into. The whole population of the city might have fit inside and at the end of it...

"What are you doing?" Thor asked as Loki hurried towards the dias that dominated the room.

"What else would I be doing? I'm going to sit on the throne."

"Don't."

A command. Quietly given but given all the same. Loki stopped and turned to look back at him.

"Why not?"

"It's... It's not yours. If anyone but the rightful monarch sits upon it, the gatekeeper will come for them."

Loki scoffed. More superstition. He turned back and scampered up the staircase, flourishing out his hands grandly before sitting delicately, regally, imagining a whole realm of loyal subjects bowing and paying homage to him. They would, one day. Oh, he'd call himself an advisor or an ambassador or a vizier or something, but there would be no doubt in his own mind of the truth. He would be king.

And of course, nothing happened as he sat down. No ghostly apparitions arrived. He smiled down at Thor's hurt little face and sighed as he stood once more.

"Fine. Let's see if we can find somewhere suitable to eat around here."


	15. Chapter 15

They ate in the mess hall that they had passed before, unable to find so much as a plate or a goblet left behind. Still, their food was wrapped in skins and one of the wells in the lower half of the kitchen still yielded fresh water. Hands could make just as good a vessel as a dusty old cup and they could fill their water skins.

"I like it here," Loki said half through a mouthful of salted meat. "We should stay."

Thor frowned.

"I thought we were going to search for my mother?"

"We are. But from here I can cast the seeking spell again, closer this time. I can be more accurate about her location. Just a few days and then we shall set out."

Thor seemed satisfied, if grudgingly, and he agreed to go in search of bedchambers. Perhaps his first night in a real bed had piqued his interest for more of the same.

Unfortunately, even the beds seemed to have been robbed away. Perhaps used for firewood, or carried off to other shelters. Any rooms that might have once been opulent sleeping spaces now held only dust.

"Why did they abandon this place?" Loki asked. "It must have been full of people once. Why would they leave?"

Thor made a soft noise, as if the answer was blatantly obvious.

"This is where the raiding parties land. Here and in the main city itself. When they found me... Well, there hadn't been one in so long and so I thought it would be safe. It wasn't."

In spite of himself, Loki felt a little uncomfortable.

"So cowardice then? They left all this for fear of my people."

"The Allfather is missing. Any attempt at rebuilding without his power is doomed to fail, especially if Jotunheim interprets it as an act of aggression. Everyone stays away from the city, in the forests or the mountains where it's safe."

"And yet you had seen no-one for five years. Are you sure you even know where the people are? This whole realm seems abandoned. Other than your mother, have you ever seen another person?"

It seemed a reasonable enough question to Loki, but Thor's laughter bounced off the walls.

"Of course! I have had friends. Good friends. Lovers even."

"So where are they?"

"Vanaheim, mostly. Alfheim. There are pathways out of Asgard. They wanted to be safe. They wanted stability and a better life for their children. So they left. But my mother... She'll be back. I could not leave the realm without her. She's coming back and I should wait for her."

There was something about the way he said it, like a mantra, like gave Loki pause. She was alive, he knew. He had sensed her. But the reasons for her departure were still decidedly unclear.

"What's down here?" he asked brightly, picking a grand corridor that sloped downwards. Underground? Perhaps they would yet find something that looked comfortable. Otherwise it would be benches for both of them.

It was a strangely ominous place. Loki found himself almost holding his breath as they reached a large pair of doors that seemed decidedly closed. Locked.

Well, that suggested that there was something worth locking up.

"Be careful," Thor said as Loki tried to force the doors magically, freezing the metal of the lock to shatter it and peeking inside.

A storage cupboard. That was all it seemed to be. There were various strange objects, all held in shimmering alcoves. Magical barriers. They had to be very precious for Odin to have gone to all this trouble.

At the end of the room stood a plinth, empty, almost ominously so.

"What went there?"

"How should I know?" Thor asked. "I don't think we should be down here. We should go back."

"What? Scared the gatekeeper will come and get us? It's just a story, Thor. If your gatekeeper ever even existed, he's probably long moved on like everyone else. Look around. There might be something useful in here."

If they could get at any of it. The shields seemed fairly strong, like they would damage anyone foolhardy enough to try reaching through them. He approached the plinth instead, running his fingers over it. Perhaps there was something very tiny or invisible on it.

"Loki..."

He huffed, turning back to where Thor was still standing in the doorway, poised to flee.

"For the last time, there is no guarding figure waiting to spring out..."

He heard the creak behind him. Behind him where until a moment ago there had been a solid wall.

Loki spun around in time to see the wall melt away and a great hulking figure step out, armoured and large enough to fight a full sized giant.

Sightless eyes turned upon him, a mounfing power behind its mask that was growing hotter and hotter, yellow and red and white hot...

"Run!" Thor yelled.

Loki dived to his right, almost hitting the wall, as a huge scorch mark was left on the floor where he had just been standing.


	16. Chapter 16

Thor's hand closed around his wrist, almost dislocating his arm as he dragged him back the way they had come. Their bags fell forgotten to the floor and Loki found himself pushed outside as two loud metallic clangs rang out behind him. Thor was suddenly beside him, slamming the door shut and seizing Loki's wrist again. He jerked them both to the side to hide behind a large column, panting in fear.

The monstrous soldier's footsteps echoed, but what direction it was travelling in was unclear. Loki found himself holding his breath. Would even a large stone shield protect them?

Silence fell. Perhaps it had returned to its post. Perhaps it was satisfied that nothing had been stolen. Surely that's what it was, a guardian of the relics.

Loki exhaled in a rush, realising suddenly that Thor had been holding him close, as though trying to block any attack with his body. He shook his way free, clearing his throat awkwardly.

"Well, the protective spells still seem to be working. Was that your mythical gatekeeper?"

"I don't think so," Thor said. "My mother told me he was a man. I'm not sure what that creature was, but... Well, it barely seemed conscious."

"Whatever I touched must have been very important to have that kind of security placed around it. And yet there was nothing on that plinth. Nothing I could see or feel anyway."

He started back towards the vault, thinking to reclaim their packs, but Thor dashed in front of him.

"I will go. It attacked you. It might attack again."

He considered arguing, but Thor might have a point. He'd keep watch instead while Thor crept back in.

Perhaps Thor was wrong and this being was the fabled gatekeeper. It seemed odd though. Why would Queen Frigga lie and say it was a flesh and blood man?

Then again, why would she lie to Thor all his days by omission, not telling him of his real identity?

Why would she leave him alone?

It seemed that everything he learned about her merely provoked more questions.

Thor reappeared, dumped half the bags and went back in. The guarding soldier hadn't stirred.

Was that because he hadn't touched anything? Or was it recognising its rightful king?

The latter had to surely be true because when he next emerged, Thor did have something. He was carrying a large war hammer. It was very imposing and Loki couldn't help but feel his gaze drawn to it. Magic, he surmised. Some kind of enchanted hammer. It explained the sounds he'd heard. Thor had hit it. Brutish, but effective.

"Where did you get that?"

Thor blinked and glanced down at his hand, like he was surprised. Like he hadn't realised he was holding anything.

"It was... It was suddenly there beside me. I think it called to me," he said vaguely, confused. "When I was scared, it called out to me."

"In what way?"

His brow creased and something peculiar passed behind his eyes. A strange sadness.

"Like it knew me," he said.

It was unwise to play with unknown magical objects. If it had been locked away down here, perhaps it was dangerous.

"May I?" Loki asked, holding out his hand.

Thor passed it to him handle first. To both of their surprise, it slammed into the floor, like it had been dropped. Of course, since he was holding it, Loki also hit the ground for the second time that day.

"Why didn't you warn me it was heavy?"

"But... But it's not. Not anymore than it appears."

Loki glared up at him, getting up and squaring his shoulders before gripping the handle once again.

He strained. His feet slipped on the floor. He found himself crying out with effort and still the hammer refused to budge.

Glaring at it, Loki tapped a foot irritably.

"Pick it up," he ordered.

Thor lifted it in one hand, like it really did weigh no more than it seemed to. There was some heft there, but it was not the immovable weight he had just felt.

Loki narrowed his eyes and sent out a little tendril of magic, testing this strange new object.

It flared, glowed with power and where Thor was holding it, the magic seemed to flow through his skin and throughout his whole body. Like he was one with it. It didn't seem to be harming him. In fact, it seemed to be giving him energy. Like he was compatible with it.

Gingerly, Loki reached out and placed a palm on the head. No magic transfer. It only wanted Thor.

"What is it?" Thor asked.

"I'm not sure," Loki replied, trying to recall why this seemed vaguely familiar.

Not that he had much time to dwell on that.

Not when he could hear distant footsteps approaching.


	17. Chapter 17

They shared a look of mild panic before rushing to hide behind columns once more, Loki carefully making sure he had one of his own this time. If he was going to come to an untimely end, he certainly didn't need to be cuddled during it.

The footsteps grew closer and closer, but marked somehow. Like whoever it was was limping or hurt.

Loki summoned an ice blade almost without thinking. Just in case.

The sound stopped somewhere near the entrance to the wide corridor.

"I know you're down here," a deep voice echoed from the walls, seeming to make Loki's very bones vibrate. "Who dares disturb the weapons vault?"

Movement. The steps came closer and closer, until a figure drew level with Loki's hiding place. He held his breath, watching as the man tilted his head, as though listening to the air itself. Like he could hear whispers that Loki could not.

He couldn't hold back the gasp when the head turned towards him and he saw the truth.

Blind. The man was blind, scars around his eyes and burned white orbs in his face. He must have been injured somehow, or attacked. Despite the impassive expression, Loki almost felt himself being looked at and appraised though that was surely impossible.

"Hmm..." the man said. "Well, I can't say this is entirely unexpected."

Thor darted out from his hiding place, hammer raised to take the stranger by surprise, but the blind man merely stepped aside and dodged the blow. Thor overbalanced and stumbled, ending up sprawled in a little heap.

"It seems you're no less clumsy than when I last saw you, my Prince."

Loki stared at Thor. Thor stared at the stranger.

"I have never seen you before, gatekeeper," he said. "And I'm not a prince."

The blind man shrugged and turned away to leave them.

"I didn't expect you to remember me. You were only an infant at the time. But as it's just you, I shall return to my post."

There wasn't much they could do except follow him.

"What do you mean?" Thor demanded. "How do you think you know me?"

"I was here when you were born. I returned to find the palace on fire, your mother managing to protect herself in the garden while giving birth. The spell of the age, and none saw but me, once I forced my way through the flames. And of course, I was here when you left."

Loki was unsure whether to ask some questions of his own or not. He almost wasn't sure if he had been noticed.

"Then what is my name, if you know me so well?"

A sigh. He seemed tired, hauling his body along with difficulty. On closer inspection, he wasn't limping as such. It was as if his muscles were very stiff, as though he had been motionless for some time.

How long had he been here? How long had he been waiting?

Jotunheim might be frozen, but Asgard was surely calcified.

"I ought to have known you'd be as stubborn as both your parents, Thor. You're the very image of your father at this age. A little leaner perhaps, but then again, you have been rather underfed."

The fact that he did indeed know who he was talking to seemed to still Thor's tongue. Or maybe it was someone else insisting that he was, as Loki suspected, a prince of the realm.

"How long have you been here that you knew Odin Outcast as a boy?" Loki asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him.

After all, he did not seem old enough. Older than Thor, yes, that he could believe. But Odin was over four thousand. This man surely could not be that old.

The blind man chuckled, a deep rumbling noise. He didn't exactly seem accustomed to mirth.

"So your pet can talk."

"His what...?" Loki stammered. "No, no, I think you'll find that he is _my..._ "

"Hush, little Jotun. You are not in your grand palace now."

They had followed through swathes of ruined palace and out onto a huge bridge, a distant structure at the end of it. Loki stopped obstinately before setting foot on it.

"How do you know these things, blind watcher? What gives you this power?"

It was eerie, the way he stopped and turned, his sightless eyes somehow piercing and sharp.

"Just because I have lost my physical sight, does not mean I can no longer perceive. I am the watcher. I watch. Thor was taken by raiders from Jotunheim some months ago. He now returns with a companion of similar height who uses ice weapons. Who else could it be but the second prince of Jotunheim?"

Well, that was logical. If he heard news from any realm that traded with or visited Jotunheim would know of him.

"If you saw Thor taken, why didn't you raise the alarm? Why didn't you try to help him?"

For the first time, a flicker of discontent flashed across the gatekeeper's face.

"Odin charged me with keeping watch over his palace," he said, turning away once more. "Not his son."

Loki was sure of very few things, but there was no mistaking the stab he felt in his gut at hearing that. He couldn't even look at Thor.

What kind of man was this Allfather?

And why had he abandoned his family?


	18. Chapter 18

If Loki was concerned about the state of Thor's feelings at such a revelation about his father, the man himself was decidedly single minded.

"My mother told me that you could see almost everything in the whole realm," he growled, a little over-confrontational.

"Indeed."

"So you can see her."

"If I wanted to seek her, I daresay I could."

A pause in which Thor's frustration almost crackled in the air.

"Well?" he demanded, gesturing with his new hammer as if it was an extension of his arm. "Where is she?"

"I cannot tell you. When she left the palace all those years ago, she made it quite clear that she did not wish to be found. I will respect her wishes, even when it is you who is asking."

Oh, dear. Thor had gone from irritated to angry, stepping in front of the blind man and placing a hand on his chest to stop his relentless walking.

"Tell me," he insisted. "She is my mother."

Loki almost held his breath, certain that violence was about to erupt, but the gatekeeper seemed more amused than anything else.

"You ask me to defy my queen? No, Thor. If you want to find her, you will have to seek her yourself."

Thor's face twisted in rage, but he stepped back and began stomping his way back the way they'd come. Loki paused for a brief moment, but decided he ought to follow Thor. He didn't want to fall out with him now, not while he was already angry.

"Here," Thor said, yanking out two or three strands of hair. "Find her. I want to get to the bottom of this."

Loki took them, still concerned. Any moment now, the rage would surely start and Thor would be uncontrollable. He needed to be talked down and fast.

"Are you... upset?" he tried.

Thor's voice was gruff but slightly choked, like he was holding back his emotions.

"Of course not. My father evidently never cared and my mother must have had a good reason for her decision. She must have."

He had such faith and Loki couldn't help but feel torn. He almost wanted to prevent him searching for fear that he would be disappointed. That it would turn out that his mother had abandoned him for a reason he couldn't come to terms with. That it would turn out badly for all of them.

Still, they had an agreement, an understanding. The gatekeeper had confirmed Thor's identity. He would help to find Frigga and in return he would be given power in Asgard.

Not that Asgard really seemed worth ruling in this state. It was like there was something missing. Something not right, like the very land was somehow ill.

He'd brought a scrying bowl with him, tucked into one of the bags they had left near the weapons vault. He obediently got it out and laid Thor's hair in it, sitting down cross-legged to set about seeking the queen of Asgard.

It ought to have been easier since he was closer, and yet the glimmer was yet very faint. He managed to trace it to a very distant set of caves, high in the mountains, almost on the edge of Asgard itself. He could not see her in person. He couldn't see into the cave at all.

"Well?" Thor asked when he came back to himself.

Loki bit his lip.

"I'm not sure. I think I see where to begin looking, but I couldn't see her physically."

Thor nodded brusquely, apparently grateful for his honesty. He would rather hard truths than false hope.

"We will sleep here," he said. "And set out in the morning."

Loki was so relieved that he was staying calm and not becoming an uncontrollable creature of rage that he didn't even notice Thor had started giving him orders.


	19. Chapter 19

The palace benches were evidently not supposed to be slept on. Decades of the warm embrace of a soft feather bed had not prepared Loki for a night combining discomfort and the intense fear of falling off the narrow shelf making him jerk awake every time he nearly dropped off.

At least he could fix one half of that, following Thor's lead by shuffling onto the floor. Still, it could have been worse. They would be at the mercy of the weather once they left the palace and he was not looking forward to being damp or trying to sleep through a rainstorm battering the canvas of their tent.

He was having trouble sleeping even beyond the less than ideal comfort situation. He was worried. Somehow he had imagined walking into Asgard, which would be damaged but still vibrant, find Frigga easily and take control without so much as breaking a nail. Instead he had found an almost deserted city complete with archaic automatic defences. The exact location of Thor's mother was closed to him - was that her own doing, her own shields? Or was it something else? Some kind of locational difficulty? Everything about it made him uneasy.

And then there was Thor. Sooner or later they would have to talk about his title. He had resisted at first, but the gatekeeper seemed to have convinced him. Or he had shrugged it off as some kind of mistake. Would he still be angry about it? Or was he strangely resigned to his true identity and all that that meant?

He decided it was best to broach the subject sooner rather than later, but it would probably be worth waiting until they had left the palace to bring it up. For some reason, he felt fresh air would help.

The streets made him nervous, the eerie silence and empty buildings, rogue plants bursting from pavements and roofs, a fountain long since become a fetid stagnant pond with weeds and algae colonising the heroic statue at the centre. It was too quiet walking between ghostly houses, he had to talk just to break the tension.

"Do you suppose he's watching us?" he asked. "The gatekeeper?"

Thor grunted, an assertion perhaps, and Loki decided to come out with it without trying to soften the blow. The longer he waited, the worse it would be.

"He knew who you are," he said. "That you're the prince of this realm."

"So what if I am?" Thor asked, sounding rather miserable. "What does it matter?"

"Well... You'd be in charge. You would rule this place."

A heavy sigh.

"Rule what?" he asked, gesturing to the abandoned city. Loki was glad he had put the hammer into his pack and wasn't brandishing it about. "Rule who? We were a strong realm once. A powerful realm. We swaggered into war with your land so arrogantly, like we couldn't possibly lose. And then we were decimated."

"You could be powerful again," Loki insisted.

"Exactly - could. Nothing is certain here."

Well, then. No sense continuing this fight, it seemed. They'd just end up angry.

"Have you been to the mountains before?" Loki asked instead.

Thor sighed again, but he seemed relieved by a change of subject.

"No. We lived by the lake. As you can see, a lot of the city was destroyed during the war, but some houses still stand. That's where I was sheltering when your people found me."

 _Your people._ It wasn't necessarily an accusation, but all the same. He'd been kidnapped and imprisoned and had his whole life turned upside down just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I'm sorry," Loki said vaguely.

"Don't be. It wasn't your fault. It's not like you ordered it or asked for it. And besides, I was all alone out here. I was living, yes, but I was not really alive I don't think... Do you understand what I mean? I had nothing but myself and my hope for my mother's return, that we could go elsewhere together, somewhere else, somewhere better. Now I am taking real action and that feels wonderful. I am searching for her, not just stuck waiting. I have a purpose. And I have someone to talk to."

Loki was a little taken aback. Was Thor really putting him in the came category as his mother's safe discovery? Was he that starved of company? Or was he misunderstanding something?

"Do you... like talking to me?" he asked, wishing that he didn't sound so surprised by the thought.

"Of course. I haven't had anyone to converse with in far too long. It's good to talk outside of my own head to someone who might reply. Even if you are a stuffy Jotun prince."

Loki laughed at that. Had anyone ever really enjoyed talking to him before? Oh, Helblindi enjoyed teasing him and Byleister would try to find common ground and usually fail, but really enjoy it? He couldn't not honestly believe that they did. In contrast, Thor at least saw him as worth debating with, worth sharing ideas with. He treated him far more like an equal than his brothers did. Somehow that seemed less insulting than it might have done a few weeks ago.

"I like talking to you too. Even if you are a stubborn Asgardian."

Thor was definitely relieved that they were no longer dwelling on his precise heritage and gave a warm chuckle.

"Conversation makes the time go faster, I think," he said. "We'll be there before we know it."

Loki nodded firmly in agreement, tugging his pack more firmly onto his shoulders. Perhaps this trip wouldn't be so bad. With the present company.


	20. Chapter 20

This trip was awful.

They left the city and entered a strange sort of wasteland, mostly endless grassy ups and downs, occasional forested areas, but never anything like a proper plain or actual wood. Thor said it used to be farmland, or at least, he thought it did. Sometimes Loki thought he could recognise fields and there was evidence of feral animals that might have been tended to once upon a time, but no sign of recent care to the open areas or the wild parts.

After a while, everything hurt or twinged or ached and Loki was exhausted.

"Can we stop?" he asked in a suitably open, safe area. "I'm tired."

Thor snorted.

"It isn't even midday. We're making good progress. If you stop now, you'll just make the afternoon seem even longer."

Loki huffed and grumbled and kept walking. One foot in front of the other over and over and over. Slipping on loose stones, stumbling into overgrown ditches, getting scratched by thorn bushes...

By the time Thor decided they could pause for a meal, Loki felt like he had blisters on his blisters. The hardy shoes he had had made had done nothing to make this any easier. He collapsed onto the ground, glaring at Thor when he dared to smile about it.

"How much food do we have left?"

"Enough for today and tomorrow. Then you'll get to experience foraging."

Based on his experiences so far, that would probably involve being bitten by some monstrous creature or falling into a hidden pit.

Even food seemed less pleasant here. Or maybe that was just because he was tired and unable to appreciate it. He felt like the effort had done something strange to his tongue, made it less refined. To add further insult, the mountains seemed no closer than they had that morning though the city did seem far behind them now.

"Can we camp here? I'm exhausted."

"There are hours of daylight left. We can get further."

Loki frowned and pouted and shifted a little, trying to think of an excuse.

"I need to rest. I won't be able to seek her if I'm too tired to cast."

Thor didn't seem convinced by this, thoughtfully chewing his share of their lunch.

"Well, if you can't keep up..."

"We didn't all grow up having to move around so much."

Thor sat back, lounging almost.

"Alright. What did you grow up having to do?" he asked. "Since we're going to rest a while. Not for the night. Just a little while."

Never mind lounging, Loki needed a lie down. He didn't mind the scrubby grass or the rock hard soil now. Stretching his back more than made up for that, groaning it out before he answered Thor's question, gazing up at the pale blue sky.

"I didn't _have_ to do anything. It was more what I wasn't allowed to do that was the issue. Because I'm so small, I am treated like a child. I've never been allowed to leave the realm alone before. I wasn't allowed to leave the palace."

"Why not? You are a strong mage. You could defend yourself easily against most, I think."

Loki felt a little pride at that. Thor's mother was an extremely skilled magic user. His opinion meant more than most.

"There are others of my height in Jotunheim, but not many. And I have never met them personally. I expect my father would be worried about me running off with some commoner if I were to go out in public and meet one of them."

"Worried about you eloping?"

"Mm. Goodness knows why he'd be concerned. I expect he plans to marry me off to the elves or something. Settle me down in a life of luxury and crushing boredom."

Thor made a little humming noise.

"My mother wanted me to settle down too, but... Well, my last partner left for Vanaheim two years after my mother left me, and though I longed to go with her and our friends, Mother had not yet returned and I couldn't find it in myself to leave the realm without her. She had said she would come back. I never went further than the city. I couldn't bear the idea of her coming back and finding me gone with no explanation. So I let my partner go. An amicable understanding."

He wanted to ask what Frigga had said when she left him, but he thought that could likely wait. It might have a clue, but the time was not right.

So instead...

"How long ago... How many partners have you had?"

"Three. We lived in a small community, mainly old people and those around the same age as me. People who didn't go to war. Orphans, a lot of them. My mother was something like a mother to all of them. But little by little, they passed on or moved away to seek more than the lake and the fish and the food we could grow for ourselves or harvest from elsewhere."

As a life, it sounded simple and nice. Maybe it was harsher than it seemed. Must have been for them all to leave. Maybe there had been poor harvests or other problems. Loki thought of the barren farmland and ran a little soil through his fingers. Trees, grass, shrubs, that was all they had seen. Perhaps trying to cultivate foodstuffs had hit some sort of snag.

"So how... How old were you? The first time?"

He was blushing, he knew, but he couldn't help being curious. He knew his own experience or total lack thereof had hardly been comparable to most others his age and he wanted to know...

"Oh, too young really. I was too young and far too stupid. I rushed into things and very nearly ruined a good friendship by thinking with my body before by head had caught up... I made quite a fool of myself, but there was no lasting harm done."

"And your mother didn't mind? She wasn't angry when she found out?"

Thor laughed.

"I was very careful to keep it hidden from her, but I'm sure she knew. I was not good at subtlety. But she never so much as teased me about that. She wanted me to be happy, that's all."

He suddenly loomed into Loki's vision, reaching down to him.

"Come on. Let's keep going."

Loki accepted his hand and tried to ignore the way his legs protested at this continued effort.

At least he'd sleep well.


	21. Chapter 21

Thor made him keep walking for what seemed like several days, though the sun stayed stubbornly high in the sky. To be fair, the mountains did steadily get a little closer.

It was just a shame that Frigga seemed to be on the other side of the range so even when they reached them, they wouldn't be close to her. They would have to skirt around until they found a passage through. That could take days and days of more walking.

And as for trying to assemble the tent...

They really ought to have practised first. Loki had never had to put one up himself and Thor had never so much as seen one before he was charged with carrying it.

After becoming far too frustrated and with the sun rapidly setting, Thor suggested that they stop, eat and sleep out in the open.

"Outside?" Loki stammered.

Thor shrugged.

"It's warm enough. There are no clouds so it's unlikely to rain. And... Well, there are worse experiences than looking up at the stars and nebulas. We can lie apart if you're uncomfortable."

Loki was too tired to even begin thinking about being uncomfortable. In fact, as soon as he sat down, he was almost falling asleep into his dinner ration. He only really came back to himself when Thor eased his waterskin from his limp grasp and had the audacity to pick him up...

"What are you doing? Put me down."

Thor chuckled but gently lowered him to the ground.

"Sorry. I was just going to put you to bed since that's clearly where you want to be."

Sure enough, he had laid out the bedding in one long line, so they could lie with their heads together. Loki frowned at it and shook his head.

"No. I want you next to me. Then you'll be able to react if anything grabs me in the night. Beasts or wild animals or something."

Thor didn't say anything, but obediently moved his own blankets to be next to Loki's.

And he was right... The stars were beautiful here.

Suddenly the reality of the situation came down on Loki's shoulders. He was stuck out here and the silence was crushing. There wasn't even wind to blow through the grass, just the faint sound of Thor's breathing.

"Do you name the constellations here?" he asked softly.

"Of course," Thor said. "Or... Well, some of the stars are the spirits of my ancestors looking down on me. And the spirits of the royal family, of course."

Well, the royal family _were_ his ancestors.

"Do you know any of the stories?"

Thor sighed, but it seemed fond, pointing up to a particular star.

"My mother used to tell me who they were. See that one? How it's a little blue?"

Now he mentioned it, Loki could see the one he meant. It shone and twinkled brighter than the ones around it, like a sapphire.

"Who is it?"

"Bestla. Mother of Odin. It's blue because she was a Jotun princess."

Loki gazed up at the star, at a distant relative he had not known of.

"What's a princess?"

"Oh... Oh, that's right. A prince then."

"And from what family?"

"Her father was... Bolthorn, or something like that?"

The name sounded slightly familiar. It had been a long time since he had looked at the family records.

"I think he was my great-grandfather's cousin. So that makes her... very, very distantly related to me. So you and I are technically family, I suppose. But I have never heard of Bestla."

"She died young I think. The marriage was supposed to improve relations between our realms but I think it only made it worse."

"How?"

"Well, because she gave birth to a few healthy children and then died suddenly. I think Jotunheim suspected murder. That does tend to sour things."

Loki gazed up at the distant light, watching it sparkle.

"What do you think happened?"

"My mother told me she was ill and died from it. That her death was not as sudden as everyone thought, but that she hid her sickness from her husband and child. I believe her. I believe it was a sad circumstance. Look at her. She shines down so brightly. I think she probably loved this realm and her homeland too."

"Maybe the war would never have happened if she had lived," Loki said thoughtfully, finally closing his eyes.

"Maybe. Maybe you and I would be meeting as equals in some diplomatic function."

"Hmm... Well. I think lying out beneath the stars together makes us fairly equal, don't you? In the eyes of the sky."

A chuckle. Loki yawned and asked for more tales, letting Thor's voice roll over him as he drifted off to sleep.


	22. Chapter 22

"Wake up, Loki."

"Nngghhh..."

A deep rumble erupted next to his ear and his pillow shook. Bad pillow...

Loki blearily opened his eyes and identified the sound as Thor laughing and the pillow as...

Thor laughed even harder as Loki sat bolt upright, mortified that he had been resting his head on Thor's chest, practically lying on him.

"It's alright. I don't mind. And I'm probably softer than the ground anyway."

Loki clutched the blanket to his chest protectively.

"Did you move me?"

He could imagine it. They had established that Thor would wrap his arms around anyone sleeping next to him. It was not far from that to pulling someone close to him.

"No. I think I had my arm out and you shuffled onto it and then shuffled further in, trying to get comfortable. It doesn't mean anything."

"I never implied it did!"

Thor shrugged and got up, rolling up his share of the bedding. At least they were both fully clothed still. He would have been even more embarrassed if he'd been asleep on Thor's bare skin...

"I want to bathe," he said petulantly. "My legs hurt."

Thor hummed vaguely.

"Well, if we set off then we'll come to a stream or a pond, I'm sure. You can bathe and I'll go looking for food, give you privacy."

On one hand, that was a good idea, but on the other...

"No, what if... What if something gets me?"

"Like what? An angry fish?"

"I don't know. Whatever creatures you have here. Or what if a branch falls and hits me on the head and I drown? You need to stay close by and keep me safe."

"Fine. I was just trying to keep you comfortable."

Comfortable. Couldn't he tell that nearly everything he did made Loki distinctly uncomfortable? He was so unruffled, taking everything in his stride, so... Yes, so _comfortable._

"When did things change?" Loki demanded, still not quite ready to relinquish his blanket and get up. "We used to argue and fight. Why are you so... affable?"

Thor did seem to think about it. Like he hadn't even noticed.

"We share a common goal now. We're working together. Besides, for some reason, I like you. Maybe it's just how lonely I was, but... Well, you're funny. Cute, you know."

Loki felt his hackles rise, mouth twisting with anger.

"Cute?!" he spat. "I am not cute. I could tear you apart if I wanted."

"I don't doubt it. But you also wanted a bedtime story."

"That's _not_ what that was."

He was still fuming as Thor laughed, holding his hands up in submission.

"I was teasing, Loki. You are very fierce. I've seen your ice blades. Formidable weapons. I expect you wield them well too."

No, no, no, he wasn't getting away with such comments so easily. Loki huffed and finally got up, every muscle seeming to scream at him. He wasn't used to walking miles and miles in a day.

The sooner they found Frigga and took her back to the palace, the better. He could send for all his things from home. His own bed, his own blankets and then he could sleep peacefully by himself.

He watched as Thor packed up the tent, reaching for his hammer. He'd been trying to use it to knock pegs into the ground, for all that they weren't sure when or why to do that.

It sprang into his hand. He did not pick it up, it physically jumped. Loki couldn't help but stare.

"Wait," he said. "Put the hammer down a moment and take a step back."

Frowning, Thor did, unsure what was happening.

"Hold out your hand and call it to you."

"What are you doing?"

"Experimenting. Go on, call to it."

Thor snorted.

"Here, hammer!" he said with forced cheer. "Who's a good hammer?"

Loki huffed.

"In your mind, Thor," he said. "Reach out to it. Please."

He saw Thor start to concentrate, his eyes fixed on the handle and then open in shock when it flew into his palm.

"How did you do that?" he asked. "I can't move things around like that."

Loki approached cautiously, testing it. If he didn't know better, he'd say it was almost... happy. Glad to be in Thor's grasp.

"I didn't," be said. "It did. It's decided it belongs to you."

Thor stared at it, worried.

"Is that bad?"

"I don't think so. It's not a parasite or anything like that. Still, interesting that the connection is so strong so early. Most people would have to cast for weeks to make something only they could use and which responded to mental summons. But you just picked this up and it bonded to you immediately. In fact, it bonded to you beforehand, if you said it called to you in the weapons vault."

Thor smiled wryly, like he was shy.

"You mean... it likes me?"

"For want of a more technical phrase, yes."

He almost thought Thor was going to cuddle it. He experimented some more as they walked, putting it down and summoning it from greater and greater distances. There didn't seen to be a limit. It would probably fly to him even from another realm.

It was slow progress, Loki's steps slower thanks to the pain in his legs. But somehow, they crossed the plain and reached the smaller foothills of the mountains, heading towards where he thought Frigga was. They would just have to hope that there was a pass somewhere along the way. Surely she wouldn't have climbed.

After hours had gone by, Thor pointed to a waterfall visible several hundred feet up. The water had to be going somewhere. Sure enough, they happened upon a small stream of water, not really enough to bathe in but enough to fill up the water skins and rinse their faces.

Although Loki got the feeling that Thor didn't want to stop, he was the one who sat down and pulled off his shoes, soothing his feet in the cold water. Loki followed suit, wondering if it would really help in the long term. He had healed his blisters overnight, but that was a temporary fix.

"We can go upstream and try to find a deeper stretch," Thor said. "So you can wash."

"No. That will only delay us. I'm slowing you down as it is."

"But I wouldn't be getting anywhere if not for you."

Loki was just beginning to relax a little, the soft sound of running water and the gentle breeze calming him, when Thor touched his leg.

"What in the nine do you think you're doing?" he stammered, trying to scramble away.

"Sorry. Sorry, I should have asked."

"I should think so!"

Thor frowned a little and then laughed, like he was nervous.

"No, not... Not because of that. I wasn't... I was going to see if I could massage some of the tension out of your calves. It might make walking easier."

Loki was still suspicious, but then again anything to ease this pain might be worth a try.

"Try it," he said softly, trying to keep his breathing and heartbeat under control as Thor's warm hand closed around his ankle.


	23. Chapter 23

"Mmm... Oh..."

Thor's hands were magical. Well, not his hands so much as his thumbs. That seemed to be where most of the power was held. A little time by that stream and Loki felt as if all the tension in his muscles had been gently removed, leaving him supple and far more prepared to go on.

It became a routine. Every night when they stopped and sometimes at their midday meal, Thor would massage his legs and ankles, easing the taut little tendons there, his hands sweeping up and down Loki's skin.

Either it helped or he quickly grew fitter or both. Certainly after several days, he noticed the change in himself. He did not tire so quickly. He was actually able to help spot the mushrooms and berries and roots that Thor said were safe to eat. Fishing by hand evaded him, but judicial use of invisible magical barriers to trap his prey made that much easier.

Thor felt this was unsporting to the fish, but he never complained when they were eating his catch, cooked in his fire and butchered with his blades.

This close to the mountains, there were caves enough to shelter in, so no more attempts to put up the tent were needed.

Loki prefered to sleep near the entrance all the same, both for fear of what might be lurking in the depths and because he liked to see the stars and make Thor tell them.

In truth, he suspected that most of the stories were made up to please him, but that was alright.

"Who is that one?" he would ask, pointing at random, and Thor wouldn't so much as pause before launching into a story.

It's a great warrior. It's a young man. It's a beautiful maiden. It's a powerful mage.

Loki found that he didn't mind that it wasn't real. He couldn't help but be a little flattered that Thor went to the effort for him.

It was fun. Despite all the aches and exhaustion, it was fun to be having an adventure. He could almost forget that they were travelling for a purpose and not just for the fun of it.

Of course, for all his apparent calm and amiability, Thor had very much not forgotten. He never pressed for news, but he would sometimes be pensive in the evenings. More than once, Loki woke in the night and saw him standing at the mouth of whatever cave they were in, gazing out. Even from behind, he had an intense longing about him.

On the fourth time it happened, Loki decided that this was not at all healthy.

"Thor?" he tried.

He watched Thor jump. He looked back, giving Loki a reassuring smile.

"I'm right here. Don't worry. Go back to sleep."

"I'm cold."

He wasn't. Of course he wasn't, for obvious reasons. But Thor obediently came back and let him snuggle in. He liked it, being extra warm. It was wonderful.

"You're worried about her," he murmured gently.

"I am. I can't help it. And I fear that we will never find a path through the mountains. Having her so close but so far..."

Loki couldn't deny it, he was similarly concerned.

"Well... Maybe we should go through them. Take a direct route."

"No, I don't want to make you do that. It will be too difficult."

"I can do it. I'll hardly complain at all, I promise."

Thor tried to hold back his laugh but didn't quite manage it. But then he gently leant over and kissed Loki's cheek.

"Thank you," he said.

Loki's skin tingled just a little, his heart beating hard, so hard that he feared Thor would feel it through his skin and clothes.

This was ridiculous! What was happening?

Maybe he needed to break the tension. He glanced up nervously and made sure that Thor's eyes were closed before deciding to repay the act.

Thor's face hair gently scratched his lips, not unpleasantly but more obviously on such sensitive skin. He smelled of the earth somehow, of the very soil, like he was part of the landscape they were exploring.

"You're welcome," he said softly, watching Thor smile and glad that he wasn't being watched.


	24. Chapter 24

Loki couldn't stop thinking about it. That smile... What did it mean? Was that an indulgent smile, like one given to a precocious child or was it something different?

And how did he feel about that? Did he want it to mean something different? Was it excitement or fear that he was feeling? He could not decide, his stomach lurching from one to the other and back again.

And, of course, Thor noticed his quandary. Of course he did.

"Are you well?" he asked as they were retracing their steps.

"Hmm? Fine."

"You're quiet, that's all."

They were going back the way they had come, heading for the most direct way to Frigga. Loki wondered about trying to deflect the question, but the idea of extending this discomfort was equally bad. He would have to tread carefully. Just in case. He didn't want to make things even more awkward than they already were.

"Just thinking about how much I'm enjoying... this."

"What, days of walking and uncomfortable nights in the company of a stupid Asgardian?"

Thor was laughing as he said it, but the very idea of such an opinion somehow made Loki ache.

"I... I don't think you're stupid."

And now Thor seemed perplexed. Confused. Had he really thought he held such a view?

"What do you think I am then?"

Loki felt his cheeks heat. What was this? Why was he embarrassed? He had no reason to be. He wasn't ashamed of his thoughts or to share them and yet his face had to be as be pink as the Asgardian dawns he was getting so used to.

"Well, you're... You've been very patient with me. How slow I am, how unused to being outside."

"That's hardly your fault. They never let you out."

"Still, I must frustrate you so."

"Not really. Or... Or I enjoy the frustration almost. I don't know. It's hard to explain, but I find it charming."

And now his heart was hammering inexplicably.

Thor found him charming... He liked that.

As they began crossing the mountains properly - leaving their tent and a few other things behind to lighten the load, though Thor insisted on keeping his beloved hammer close at hand - Loki discovered something else he liked very much indeed.

The terrain was very uneven and Loki would gladly strain his arms and scrape his knees climbing up, up, up if it meant he had to descend afterwards. Every time, Thor would insist on going first to ensure their chosen path was safe, not going to give way or slide, and would then turn and reach up to him, taking his hand or offering an arm of support or - best of all - laying his hands on his waist and easing him gently to the ground.

Loki barely felt tired most of the time for excitement and anticipation that at any point Thor might touch him. At night he would yawn widely all the same because then Thor would lie down and let him share his body heat.

Was it wrong of him? Surely it was bad of him to take advantage of Thor like this, to manipulate him into touch for his own enjoyment. But he couldn't help it. Thor made him feel safe. Grounded. Protected. Just feeling that warmth next to him at night gave him a sense of companionship and security, knowing that he wasn't alone.

Sometimes he wondered if Thor liked it too. After all, he never seemed to miss a chance to touch. Then again, he was a tactile person who had been touch-starved after years of isolation. Perhaps it meant nothing.

At least, he thought it might until the day he jokingly announced that Thor might as well be carrying him.

"After all," he said. "You're always helping me up or down or over something. You should just pick me up and have done with it."

They were on a relatively flat and wide ridge and Loki squealed as Thor scooped him into his arms as if he weighed nothing at all. Loki was forced to wrap his arms around Thor's neck or risk falling, a far more intimate gesture than it seemed. For all that he appreciated Thor touching him, he had not really reciprocated beyond unconscious night cuddles and now they were gazing at one another, face to face, Thor's playful smile becoming tinged with concern.

"I'm sorry," he said, moving as if to put him down.

"No!" Loki said quickly. "No, wait."

A frisson passed between them for a second, Loki's eyes flicking down to Thor's lips, his chest heaving before he made a decision.

Thor made a noise of surprise as their mouths bumped together but quickly recovered himself, gripping Loki more tightly as they kissed, letting Loki take as much or as little as he wanted. He pressed forward, almost frightened to think about what he was doing, revelling in the feeling of Thor's lips against his, the taste of him, the sensation of being so, so close...

They were both a little surprised, Loki thought, not speaking as Thor carefully put him down. Maybe he had gone too far, maybe he shouldn't have done that.

Thor took his hand and squeezed it, keeping a loose hold on it as they continued walking.

Somehow it soothed his worries.


	25. Chapter 25

Loki couldn't find a way to break the silence that fell between them as they walked. He didn't know what to say.

He had kissed Thor, properly, on the mouth, and he had enjoyed it. He wanted to do it again. He wanted to... He didn't quite know exactly what he wanted to do, and at the same time as being excited, he was afraid. What if Thor didn't want him? What if he was just trying to be friendly? What if he didn't want to be kissed like that, in that way?

"How about we head for that cave there and stop for the night?"

"What?"

And Thor was pulling him close, resting a hand on his waist, pointing over his head to an opening about half a mile ahead and a few feet above. It would take them about half an hour, based on the terrain.

Not that Loki was noticing such details as Thor gently kissed the side of his head and carried on walking.

And what did that mean?! It was an affectionate gesture, absolutely, but hardly one of passion. It might be a sign that he appreciated Loki's clumsy attentions or it might mean that he was only interested in a sort of intimate friendship, a close bond but one without any romantic feelings.

Romantic?! What was he even thinking of? Yes, he liked Thor and he enjoyed his company and he wanted to be close to him and listen to him and talk with him and share his feelings and fears but did that mean he wanted romance from him? Passion?

Sex?

He stumbled over nothing and Thor was quick to steady him, mumbling something about being careful with shifting stones. Not that Loki heard him as such.

Sex with Thor. He'd always been dismissive of the idea, pushing it away, but now the thought filled him with a strange blend of excitement and fear. It might be wonderful, it might be something good, but on the other hand what if it wasn't? What if it hurt, what if he didn't like it? What if he wanted to try a little way and then stop? Was that an option? Should he be the one who suggested it or should he wait for Thor to do it and just... just let it happen? What if Thor didn't want to pressure him and didn't ever suggest it and then it never happened? Would that be better? Which might he regret more, doing or not doing?

He couldn't get a hold on himself. He didn't know what he wanted and he certainly couldn't guess what Thor wanted and letting it bubble and boil in his mind wouldn't help. Not that he could really stop doing that, certainly not at the moment.

Thor helped him scramble up a particularly steep chunk of rock, his hands so firm and reassuring. Loki was never scared that he would fall.

Trust. That was at least something he could say with confidence. He trusted Thor.

By the time they reached the small cave Thor had chosen, Loki felt as if the tension in his body might make him snap. He went about his usual tasks in a daze, unrolling and setting out the blankets while Thor unpacked the food they had managed to gather during the day. Up here, fish were rare, but they had come across several trees bearing nut-like seeds. They were coarse and bitter, but they were filling at least, the taste washed away with rich dark berries and fresh mountain water.

"Shall I massage your legs, then?" Thor asked after they had eaten, behaving as if everything was normal. Perhaps he thought he was helping.

It gave Loki an idea though.

"My back hurts," he said. "I think I pulled a muscle during the climb. Could you rub it for me?"

Thor seemed a little unsure but nodded all the same, gesturing to their little bed. As an afterthought, Loki pulled off his shirt, revealing more of himself than he had since Jotunheim. He lay down on his chest, just catching sight of Thor biting his lip before he turned his face away.

"Where does it hurt?" Thor asked, his voice coming closer.

"In my shoulders, mainly," Loki said. "And a little lower too."

Thor was sitting beside him, beginning by tentatively pressing down on his shoulder blades.

"Here?"

"Mm-hm."

Big sweeping motions, Thor gently rubbing suppleness back into his flesh. His shoulders were still tense though, waiting, itching to feel his touch.

"The... The angle," Thor said, voice thick. "Can I... Can I kneel over you?"

"Yes," Loki breathed. That was exactly what he wanted.

Thor was trying not to touch him inappropriately and Loki couldn't deny being a little disappointed by how careful he was being. He was kneeling above the middle of his back, holding himself up just above the dip in his spine, not allowing himself to make contact with anything other than his hands.

But his hands...

Loki's shoulders really had been sore, little bursts of release zinging through the muscles as Thor pressed and rubbed at them.

"Mmm..."

"Good?"

"Oh, yes. Keep going, please."

Thor's chuckle was laced with something close to nerves, his breathing getting heavy.

Perhaps this was worth experimenting with.

"There," he said, feeling Thor's hand instantly still at the command. "More there. Mmm... Harder..."

"Loki..."

His voice. There was something new in it. Was that arousal? That depth, was that was that meant?

He had never heard that in person before.

Thor moved away, leaving Loki feeling cold suddenly, making a little protesting noise at having such pleasant attentions ripped away.

"Just because we kissed, it doesn't mean I'm just going to..." Thor said in a rush.

Loki tipped himself onto his back, cheeks blazing with hurt pride. So that's how it was. Oh, in an instant, he understood everything completely.

"Not going to what, Thor? Go on, say it. At least reject me properly."

"I'm not going to expect anything of you," Thor said.

That had not remotely been what he had expected. He had expected Thor to gently but firmly and horribly politely tell him that he did not feel the same attraction, did not want the same... anything. He didn't understand what this excuse meant.

As a result, Loki frowned, shaking his head.

"What are you talking about?"

Thor ran a hand through his hair, frustration pouring off him, his stance defensive and tense.

"If you want to kiss, we can, but I'm not going to ask you for anything else. I don't expect anything. You don't need to act like this, so... so seductive like this. Please, just... Just talk to me, tell me what you're trying to do."

Loki stammered a little. What was he trying to do? What did he want?

Telling the truth was hard, but Thor had seen through his pretence and his false confidence. Perhaps it was the only option left.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I thought you might decide for me."

Thor's defensive air fell away a little. He came closer, kneeling on his half of the bedding.

"No one gets to decide for you," he said softly. "What do you want?"

"I don't know. Or... Or I don't know if I'm ready to..."

Thor stroked his hair, gentle and careful.

"Would you like to kiss?" he asked. "Nothing more than that?"

Yes. He wanted that very much.

"Nothing more for now," he said.

It was different this time. Thor still let him lead, but he did press back a little, and his hands roamed over Loki's back, exploring the bare skin.

It was nice. Very nice.

And Loki went to sleep dreaming of when he would feel ready to ask for something else.


	26. Chapter 26

Loki woke with a welcome feeling in his chest, one he could only really identify as 'good'. He was held safely in Thor's arms, warm and comfortable. He shuffled upwards, disregarding Thor's sleepy murmurs at his squirming, burrowing closer to inhale against his skin, breathing in that scent of earth and trees and Thor...

He knew when Thor had awoken sufficiently when his hold became more purposeful, warm hands stroking his back.

"Good morning," he said, voice heavy with sleep.

"Do you find me attractive?" Loki asked.

Blunt, but all the same, he felt like the question had been hiding at the back of his mind, waiting for an opportunity to slip out. It took advantage of his slumber and comfort to overtake him.

"Why do you ask?"

Well, he didn't exactly want to say but...

"It's just no one ever has before. Or at least I don't think they have. I've certainly never noticed it."

Thor sighed, his ribs rising and falling with almost enough force to move Loki's whole body.

"I don't think that can possibly be true," he said. "I'm sure many have. Perhaps they were too afraid of your father to show it. But, if you would have it out of me, yes. Yes, I do. But I didn't want to act on that attraction in case it made you uncomfortable."

And wasn't that typical?

"Since when?"

There was a depth to the question that he was unsure whether Thor would understand. He wanted to know if Thor only liked him like this, in his pretend Asgardian skin, or whether be liked his usual appearance too. It was important.

If he did understand, Thor was subtle about it.

"I didn't when we first met, I must admit that. I think we were equally unsure of one another then. I made suggestive comments just to make you squirm. I was... very antagonistic and for that I apologise."

"To be fair, I was keeping you prisoner and attempting to forcibly bond with you."

"Still. But then I grew to enjoy our discussions and our debates. I liked seeing you smile and laugh and I loved how sharp you were. Sharp in mind and sometimes tongue. I liked the sound of your voice. I didn't realise it at the time, but I think I became attracted to you quite early. Sometimes I would wake before you and watch the way your eyelids flickered in your dreams and how handsome you were in the peace of sleep."

"That's a little more creepy than complimentary I think."

Thor laughed and moved to get up, much to Loki's dismay. He wanted to hear more about how alluring Thor found him, or his ego did anyway.

"How far away are we now?" Thor asked.

He asked every few days. Loki felt sure that he wanted to ask more often but didn't want to put pressure on him. Still, he sat up to accept the magic bowl and yet another one of Thor's hairs.

A few months ago, would he ever have imagined himself doing this? Performing his magic in a cave in an unfamiliar realm having woken up next to his...

Well, his lover to all intents and purposes. And what a strange thought that was in itself.

He reached out, simultaneously keen to find Frigga - after all, that would please Thor more than anything and hasten their return to actual civilisation where there would be baths and proper meals and beds - and yet a little sad about it too. Their journey would end and, perhaps, another would begin, but they would not be alone together.

He would seduce Thor before then, a strange and rebellious thought announced. He would lay a claim on Frigga's son before he met her.

Thus strengthened, his mind floated happily out of their little cave, searching for the telltale glimmer of the queen's presence. He knew where it was from above. She didn't move, but they did, having to negotiate such winding ridges and passes, the angle between them always changing.

"We are close," he told Thor. "If we could fly, we might be there by midday."

"Where is she?"

Loki wrapped his blanket around himself, not willing to give up the residual warmth just yet, and shuffled to the edge of the cave to point.

"She is on the opposite side of that mountain."

"You've seen her?"

"No, but I have felt her presence. She is there, I'm certain of it."

Thor looked at the rocky peak, glaring at it for daring to be so far away.

"We can be there within two days," he said. "Three at the most."

He turned and began packing things up, waiting for last to take the blanket from Loki's shoulders, at least offering a kiss to his neck that felt close to an apology as he did so.

"Last night..." Loki began.

"Yes?"

Seduction. But it couldn't be overt or Thor would reject it as he had before. He had to tread cautiously if he wanted to succeed.

"I want more. Tonight, will you...?"

Thor swung his pack onto his bag and approached, gently cupping Loki's jaw.

"If you are not too tired from the day and if you still want it, then yes. I would be glad to help you try new things."

New things, Loki repeated internally as Thor kissed his lips breathless.

He spoke of it as though it was as simple as tasting a new dish or learning a new skill.

What a strange creature he was.


	27. Chapter 27

He was excited. He was frightened. He was going to burst into laughter at any point. He was going to vomit with nerves.

Walking was almost an afterthought, his feet falling one in front of the other without his brain having to tell them what to do.

Food too was merely something to be chewed and swallowed, not really taken notice of. He wondered how Thor could be so apparently calm. Perhaps it was his greater experience. Or maybe because he was distracted by how close they were getting to his mother.

Well, in that case, surely it would be a good thing to distract him from his distraction.

They made good progress. The mountain they needed to reach loomed larger and larger, but alas Thor's unease seemed to only grow.

He ought to be grateful, then, that Loki was determined to take his mind off it.

He began his experiment over dinner, leaning back and exhaling in a long sigh, letting his shirt ride up a little, deliberately elongating his form. He tried to make it seem unconscious, bringing one hand to his neck, sweeping his hair to the side, trying to draw Thor's eye to the column of his throat.

It worked, to a point.

Thor certainly looked at him, gaze sweeping over him like a caress, but he looked away just as quickly. Loki kicked off his shoes and stretched his feet, easing the tension from his tendons before lying back, feet pointed elegantly upwards. His trousers slipped a little, revealing the lean muscles of his lower legs and promising more to be discovered if only...

"You're not as subtle as you think you are," Thor said.

"Hmm?"

"I know what you're doing."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

Thor's knowing laugh sent a warm, dark shiver through him, forced to press his lips together in case a squeak escaped him.

"I mean," Thor said, slowly and deliberately, drawing it out, torturing him. "That you are trying to get my attention. You're trying to tempt me, to make me look at these long limbs, that waist, that neck and face, to make me think how you might look transported with pleasure at my hands, to make me imagine what it might feel like to touch you all over..."

"Is it working?"

He meant for it to come out as a purr, but it was more of a gasp.

And then Thor was there, running a hand gently up his calf, so warm against his bare skin...

"It might be. But on one condition."

"What?"

A long slow look up his body, a gentle stroke to his thigh.

"Two conditions in fact. First, I would like to see you as you really are. In your real skin."

Easily done with but a thought, even if Loki was amazed that any part of his brain was available to process removing his disguise. Thor took his hand gently and pressed his lips to the newly blue knuckles, a strangely courtly gesture considering the circumstances.

"The other condition?" Loki asked, feeling a little exposed under Thor's continued observation.

"Simple," he said, lying down at Loki's side, a hand coming to rest at his waist. "I merely wish that you do not concern yourself with my pleasure. I want to please you. That ought to be your focus, being adored and cared for, not worrying about me. But by that, I mean that I will not do what you are expecting me to do."

Loki frowned at him, confused.

"You are talking in riddles," he protested. "Be plain with me."

Smiling, Thor leant in to softly kiss his forehead.

"I mean that I will not have sex with you tonight. But I still intend to become very intimate with you indeed."

Loki found himself dumbstruck, frozen as Thor slipped a hand under his tunic.

"Assuming, of course, that you would like me to?"

A hard swallow, his throat suddenly dry.

"Yes," he managed. "I think I would like that very much."


	28. Chapter 28

At first it was the same as the night before, kisses and stroking, gently firm. Warm and exciting, but nothing he hadn't had before.

Thor's hands slipped under his shirt, feeling his heritage marks curiously, touching every inch of his back before pulling away to drag the garment off.

He couldn't help but feel desired. Something strange had happened to Thor's eyes, his pupils very large and dark, a look of want that Loki was amazed was his doing. His! Thor wanted him and that knowledge was strange and dizzying.

A thumb over one of his nipples made his whole body jerk. Since when had that been so sensitive? It was as if his whole body was open and waiting to be shown new things.

Thor eased him onto his back, kissing his neck, and Loki automatically wrapped his legs around him, arching upwards and...

"Oh..."

He could feel it, Thor's arousal, could feel it pressing against his own through their clothes.

"Are you alright?"

Loki's chest heaved, his mind racing suddenly. If he was naked then Thor would see him, would know how small he was... He wasn't sure he wanted that.

"We can stop," Thor said softly.

But if he stopped now, would he ever dare again...?

"I... I just need a moment, that's all."

Thor smiled at him, moving back to give him space, the loss of his warmth almost making Loki whine.

"You can talk to me," Thor said. "If you want. Maybe I can... help."

Loki exhaled shakily.

"I'm... I'm just worried that... That when you see me, you'll be disappointed."

He watched the faint frown pass Thor's face. A look of confusion, concern.

"I severely doubt that. But would you prefer if I didn't?"

Loki tried to keep his voice from shaking.

"I want you to, but at the same time I don't..."

Thor nodded like he was making sense, though surely he wasn't.

"How about we give it a try and I will tell you everything I want to do and you can stop me if you don't want something?"

That seemed the most sensible way. Thor was good at this. Loki briefly wondered if he had handled a nervous partner before. Or maybe he wished this was how he had been treated for his first time.

He found himself soothed by more kisses, Thor carefully keeping his hips angled away for fear of scaring him probably.

"I'm going to remove your breeches," the announcement, whispered into his ear. "If you're ready."

Loki held his breath for a beat.

"Do it," he said. Now or never.

Thor kissed a trail down his body, beard almost tickling him, serving as a distraction while the laces of his trousers were carefully undone and Thor began easing them down his hips.

He screwed his eyes shut, scared to see Thor's reaction, and the ensuring silence did absolutely nothing for his nerves.

He was about to kick Thor away and scramble for the security of the blanket when he spoke, soft and warm.

"You're beautiful."

Loki opened his eyes in shock.

"Don't," he said. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. Can I touch you, please?"

Eyes still staring at the roof of their cave, Loki nodded. Even if it was a lie, Thor cared enough about his feelings to make the effort.

Thor's hands ran up the outside of his thighs, breathing heavily, squeezing the firm flesh gently before straying across to where his legs were tightly held together. He didn't push, merely ran a finger along the sensitive skin, making Loki gasp involuntarily.

"You're so beautiful," he repeated. "I can hardly believe you're real. Can I kiss you, here?"

Just the thought of Thor's lips teasing him had him spreading his legs, eager and ashamed for what Thor might be able to do to him.

It turned out that Thor could do a lot.

He knelt, beginning a long line of kisses up Loki's inner thigh, all the way up, making gasps and shudders roll through him. But it wasn't enough as Thor began kissing down his other leg, away from where he wanted...

His whines made Thor chuckle.

"Do you want something?"

Oh, the temptation to kick him!

"Yes... I... I don't know what..."

"Loki, look at me."

He didn't want to, but there was no denying such a request.

Thor grinned up at him, still fully clothed, hair a little wild, hands looking so pale against his thighs.

"I'm going to use my mouth on you," he said. "Would that please you?"

Well, he seemed to know what he was doing. Loki managed to let out a little confirmation and kept looking down as Thor practically lay down, bringing his mouth closer and closer, his hot breath...

Loki moaned out loud as Thor gently parted him and ran his tongue all the way up from his opening to the base of his cock. How could something so strange feel so good? He was wet, he knew he was, an intensity that he hadn't felt before, oh...

His reactions must have pleased Thor, for his actions became quicker, the tip of his tongue doing wonderful things that Loki could hardly keep up with, chuckling when Loki's hips began to writhe and roll of their own accord.

A whine of displeasure as Thor drew back.

"Can I put my fingers inside you and use my mouth on your cock?"

Something in Loki's brain had shut down and something else had woken up.

"Yes," he said. "Yes, yes, just don't stop."

Thor laughed, his cheeks flushed and lips shining as he bent back to his task.

He'd expected to be nervous, but one finger slipped in easily. It felt strange, but not bad, better as Thor began to move it, rubbing inside him, touching him as no-one else had.

"More," he demanded. "More."

A second finger. That felt nice, a pleasant fullness, his hips once more undulating into the motions, good but not _enough..._

Thor leant forward to take the head of his cock between his lips and Loki almost cried out. His mouth was so warm, licking and sucking at him, teasing before setting a steady motion. It couldn't have been a comfortable position, but he reacted to Loki's jerky movements with ease, his mouth working in perfect counterpoint to his fingers.

After a minute or so, he used his other hand to stroke the base of Loki's cock because he couldn't fit it all...

Loki stared.

He couldn't fit it all in his mouth.

Loki came with a yell, not the first orgasm of his life but certainly the most intense, still shuddering as Thor crawled up his body to kiss him and hold him close.

"Was that alright?"

"Mmm..."

He could feel Thor's erection still and reached for the laces on his trousers.

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to though."

It was so hot in his hand, full and thick, but now he looked at it again, it wasn't very much bigger than his own. Not even an inch bigger, perhaps.

The knowledge made him brave, stroking clumsily but effectively, watching Thor's face as he panted and moaned, spilling over his hand with a grunt.

Outside, the skies opened, a sudden downpour. Had they seen rain at all since coming here? Loki felt rather sticky and decided to take advantage, leaping up to go outside to stand in it.

What freedom! To stand completely nude letting the warm rain soak him, rinsing away Thor's spend, opening his mouth to taste the rainfall...

Strange. It tasted very odd indeed. Sharp. Iron.

Thor laid a hand on his shoulder, face upturned to the clouds.

"I've never seen rain like this," he said.

Loki looked at him, hair growing darker from the water, skin shining with it, and wrapped an arm around him, feeling safe and cared for.

"Perhaps it's a sign."

"Of what?"

Loki watched the water bounce from the ground, almost fancying he could hear the mountain plants drinking it.

"New things."


	29. Chapter 29

Loki did not want to move the next day. He wanted to stay in their cave and cuddle and maybe a few other things as well...

But no. He couldn't ask Thor to do that when his mother was so close by. He was holding his hammer today rather than having it attached to his pack and that alone made Loki uneasy. He almost felt like it had watched them last night. A ridiculous thought. Still, it proved that Thor was likewise worried. Perhaps he feared that someone had taken his mother hostage and that he would have to fight them.

Progress was slow once they reached the right mountain. It was hideously steep, requiring more a scramble than a climb, and something about it set Loki's teeth on edge. The air was fresh from the storm but there was something about this whole area, a strange thickness to the atmosphere. It felt almost like humidity, though he knew it couldn't be.

Even Thor had to take frequent breaks, panting and sweating, a light frown on his face. He could probably feel it too, if not as sensitively as Loki could.

"Your mother must be very fit," Loki said, hauling himself onto what thankfully seemed to be the last ledge they would have to reach.

"I wonder how she managed it," Thor admitted. "Whatever is up here must be very important."

The ledge was narrow and they were forced to carry their bags in front of them, backs to the stone. As pebbles rolled over the side and tumbled down and down, Loki found himself panicking a little. If they survived this, how would they ever get down safely?

His relief at finally coming to a wider platform was matched only by his apprehension at looking into the cave. It was dark in there, so dark, and the horrible sticky air seemed almost to be flowing out of it.

"She's in here?" Thor asked.

"Yes. I'm afraid so."

Thor took a deep breath and started to walk into the blackness.

Loki rushed after him to take his hand, squeezing it for comfort.

It was so dark and strangely quiet. Not even a drip of water, not a rustle, no sounds at all other than their footsteps and breathing.

Why in the nine had Frigga come in here?

Loki made a little light, concerned about tripping more than something finding them.

This cave did not feel natural. The rocks and stones they passed were smooth, as though they had been under water and worn that way. But by what? By this power that seemed to be passing around them?

The mountain could not be very wide and yet they seemed to walk far deeper than could have been possible. Were they going down imperceptibly? Were they descending? Or was this place outside of normal rules of space?

"It's getting wider," Thor said.

His voice ought to have echoed. It didn't. The darkness swallowed it.

"I don't think this is Asgard anymore. That's why I couldn't see her."

Thor suddenly stopped, holding Loki still.

"What's that?"

Loki followed his pointing hand, unable to really discern anything outside of their little pool of light. But then he saw, a faint glimmer. A reflection.

He sent the light a little further forwards. Sleek lines. Metal. Some kind of winged boat.

"Is it transport?" he asked. "It's certainly not alive."

They approached it with caution all the same. It had a rudder, propellers, gliding wings.

"She didn't climb," Loki said. "She flew. I hope it still works."

It would be far easier than trying to climb back down and there would easily be room for all of them, even with all their bags.

"She must be nearby then," Thor said, looking around as if she might appear before them.

They continued on, the strange dead air changing. It was rich and fragrant, as though of a forest or a meadow. Perhaps... Perhaps they were passing between realms. Maybe this would be Vanaheim or Alfheim. But there were far easier ways to go. Why would she go to so much effort?

Besides, he had felt her presence. She was still here.

The cave began to narrow suddenly, eventually forcing them to walk single file, still holding hands. Their shadows danced on the walls, the passage twisting and turning in ways that made Loki's head spin.

He heard the gasp. Felt Thor's hand slip away from his.

But only when Thor rushed forward, a shocked cry falling from his lips, did Loki see.


	30. Chapter 30

They were in a large space, a huge cavern and in the centre a chasm and in the chasm...

"Yggdrasil..."

The world tree. Part of it anyway. It pulsed and shone, the base invisible in the depths of the ground, enormous boughs stretching off in all directions, the trunk stretching up higher than it was possible to see.

And among those boughs...

"Mother!" Thor yelled. "Mother!"

Blonde hair streaked with grey cascaded from a tiny, frail figure suspended in the branches. She was tied by both wrists to the tree, hanging in place. Thor lunged upwards, his bag and hammer hitting the ground with a thump.

"Mother..." he said, climbing and scrambling to reach her. "What have you done?"

Loki felt helpless. He could only stare as Thor struggled, could only feel his heart clench as Thor reached her and yelled out in dispair.

"Loki, get the bandages. We'll have to... Oh, Mother..."

"Thor?" her voice was so weak, so shaky. "Thor, what are you doing?"

"It will be well. We'll get you out of here."

"You... You've changed."

Afterwards, Loki couldn't be sure how Thor managed it. He was standing on one of the larger branches and reaching up, ripping at the ropes with his bare hands. He managed to loosen one, Frigga crying out as she almost fell.

Loki suddenly felt spurred into action, laying out their bedding ready, fetching the bandages as Thor had told him to, looking up to see him descending steadily, carrying Frigga as best he could with one arm.

And then Loki saw what had panicked Thor. Besides the wild hair and the wasted muscle, the long nails and grey skin, there was a gaping wound where her left eye ought to be. It seemed fresh and yet as he looked at it, the more he saw signs of scar tissue and clotting. An old wound that had never healed properly. What had happened to her?

Thor lay her on the makeshift bed, holding her hand as best he could.

"Mother, this is Loki. He'll help. You'll be alright, I promise."

"Why are you so grown?" she asked.

Delirious maybe? Loki tried his best to clean and bind her wounds, beginning with the rope burns around her wrists. He began to notice something else too. Her whole body was covered with strange marks, tiny scratches as though of little claws. Nothing too deep. But still... It was as though a small animal had been running over her skin.

By the time he was cleaning her eye, steeling himself against the horror of it, she seemed more alert. She gazed at him in wonder and he realised with a start that he hadn't gone back to his disguise. How strange for her, to be tended by an old enemy.

"Laufeyson," she said vaguely. "You are as small as they say."

At least she was making sense now, he supposed.

"I have scissors," he said, demonstrating them as he cut through more bandage to make a dressing for her face. "May I cut your nails?"

She frowned and looked at her own hand, gasping in horror.

"How... How long have I been here?"

"Five years," Thor said, his voice thick. "I don't... I don't understand."

"Five years? That's not possible."

Loki assumed he had permission and began clipping off her nails, long and brittle from a lack of nutrition. How had she lived so long without food and drink?

He looked towards Yggdrasil, wondering. Could it have nourished her? It must have. There was no other explanation.

"I think we should leave," Thor said, presumably deciding that they could establish the details later. "The boat out there. Can you tell me how to use it?"

"I'll fly it," Frigga murmured. "You have no idea."

"Mother, you need to rest, just tell me what to do."

"Thor, it's a very dangerous thing in the wrong hands."

Loki giggled. He couldn't help it. Seeing Thor scolded like a child was just too funny and his nerves were so on edge. They both turned to him, Frigga's good eye appraising him.

"Fine. You can fly. And explain to me how it is that you have come looking for me in the company of the second prince of Jotunheim."

She tried to stand but didn't have the strength, Thor easing her to her feet and aiding her staggering steps. Loki packed everything away haphazardly, not really caring compared to getting out of this cave. He felt sure that living beings were not really supposed to trespass here.

He couldn't wait, as they made slow and steady progress back towards the ship, to find out what had possessed her to come in here in the first place and just how long she had planned to stay.

Five years had clearly not been part of that plan.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I haven't responded to comments on the last chapter yet. WiFi being very temperamental, hence posting this very early while the internet is on. Normal service should hopefully resume soon!

"Be careful!"

"I'm being careful!"

Loki gripped the side of the boat and tried not to be too concerned. They had got the thing going easily enough, but Thor was having a little difficulty steering it. Frigga seemed a little irritated by the indignity of being surrounded by their blankets and capes and other soft things, but she knew it was for her own good.

A horrible scraping sound put Loki's teeth on edge, but finally they were out in the open air and he felt like he could breathe properly again, all three of them taking full lungfuls.

"So," Frigga said. "Prince Loki. Why don't you tell me how you met my son?"

And why did that feel like a trick?

"It's a long story," he tried.

"It's a long way back to the palace."

She was not to be denied, it seemed. And the longer he tried to put her off, the worse it would be.

And if he lied, well, that would be setting a tone of mistrust for their relationship.

"He was given to me as a weapon. A berserker to control. It is tradition."

"To be given a slave?"

A test. Was everything to be a test?

"A weapon," he repeated. "We thought that I could learn to bond with him and take his rage onto the battlefield."

She chuckled. He got the feeling that this was good, talking to her would ensure she was awake and alert and none the worse for her experience with Yggdrasil. Gain her trust and maybe she would even explain what she'd been doing up there.

"Thor isn't a berserker. They are trained from adolescence with their partner. It is a complex and lengthy process. So really you had been given an angry, stubborn Thor."

"I can hear you, you know," Thor said, but with great fondness in it. He seemed to be getting the hang of the ship, taking it in a wide loop towards the city.

"Exactly. And so after a little negotiation, he agreed to play the role if I used my magic to look for you. And then I agreed to come here and join the search for you."

"Hmm. And what would you get in exchange for helping him?"

Loki hesitated. Yes, he had wanted Asgard, but in the time they had been travelling, his desires had changed. He wanted adventure. He wanted to see other realms. And he wanted Thor to go with him, a companion and a lover too. Why rush into ruling early when there was so much to see?

"I realised that he was a prince, though he didn't believe it. And so I asked him to share Asgard with me. But I believe we have become... friends."

"Friends," Frigga repeated and Loki knew he was blushing.

He looked at Thor and found that he was similarly embarrassed, finding the tiller of their little vessel fascinating for some reason.

"So now your attachment is based around something other than personal gain."

"I consider Thor's affection to be a very large personal gain."

She smiled at that. Perhaps her trust could be earned after all.


	32. Chapter 32

Somehow, Thor had remembered where they had left the tent, and with the additional aid of Frigga - who had more prior experience of such structures than the two of them combined - they managed to put it up with a little time and a few false starts.

Loki went to the river for fish. He wanted to leave Thor and his mother alone to discuss what had happened, to give them some privacy for family matters.

And of course, it gave him some too. Time alone to think, to consider the best plan of action.

Frigga seemed fairly accepting of the nature of their relationship. It was unlikely that she would strive to separate them. And they shared a rank as princes. It would be the simplest thing in the world to ally Asgard and Jotunheim through them and Loki could quite see the logic that would sit behind such a scheme.

Still, that was a big decision, one he wasn't ready for. He wasn't ready to be Thor's... consort. It would be better for them to know each other better first. See what developed.

He delayed by the river, telling himself that it was practical to clean his catch there, practised now at removing scales and filleting with his summoned blades, but he knew that really he was trying to avoid going back too soon.

And with good reason, it turned out.

He made his way back to their camp hearing raised voices. He paused, wanting to wait for a convenient moment to ease the tension. He hid behind a rock, feeling a little bad about eavesdropping, bit unable to really help it.

"He wasn't coming back," Frigga was snapping. "Everyone was leaving. Action had to be taken, someone had to do something."

"It took your eye."

"A necessary sacrifice. I gave it up for wisdom, for power."

"You were going to die up there," Thor almost cried. "I was alone for so long, waiting. You should have told me what you were doing and why. You should have told me who I was, who I am. I had a right to know, all if it."

"You would have tried to stop me."

"Of course I would!"

This wouldn't do. He had to step out, wade into this and help diffuse the situation. He couldn't help but feel Frigga had known he was hiding there, Thor closing his mouth with an audible sound as he appeared, face troubled.

Frigga was somehow still as regal and dignified as ever, her frail, thin body propped up with their blankets as though carried aloft by servants. Loki smiled at her, keen to pretend that he didn't know she had just been arguing with her son.

An uneasy silence fell as Loki cooked, new skills that he had learned on their journey. He had learned so much, now he thought of it.

"I thought we could sleep in the boat," Thor mumbled. "Beneath the stars."

Loki nodded his agreement. As long as it didn't rain again, that would be very pleasant and give them a chance to talk. He wanted to know what exactly Frigga had shared about whatever she was doing and felt sure that Thor would tell him with only the barest prompting.

She ate with a ravenous hunger, exactly the way Loki felt was right for someone who hadn't eaten for five years. He wanted to know how she had survived, whether she could remember. But this wasn't the time to ask 

It was sudden, realising he was tired. Yawns came upon him, the sheer length of the day weighing on him.

"I think we should go to bed," Frigga said. "There will be time to talk in the morning."

They had to help her into the tent. Loki felt out of place, like this was too intimate an act towards someone he had just met, but she smiled at him and somehow he couldn't shift the feeling that everything would be well.

Thor sighed heavily as they lay down together, just their capes for covers and the firm base of their ship, smoother than the ground, as a bed.

Loki cuddled into him and all thoughts of trying to gather information left his head. He would be a comforting and distracting force, looking up at the sky and choosing a star at random.

"Who is that one?"

Thor followed his finger and made a short humming noise.

"I don't know," he said. "In truth, I have hardly known any."

"I know. But I don't mind. The mage, the maiden, the warrior... I liked hearing about them. So who is it?"

Thor looked again, a smile settling on his face.

"It's a lover," he said firmly. "In the most basic terms. One who offers his heart and asks for nothing in return."

More big ideas. For the moment, Loki would only allow himself to snuggle closer and fall asleep to the cadence of Thor's breathing.


	33. Chapter 33

Frigga was a fast healer, it seemed. She was still weak, but she managed to crawl out of the tent and sit by the remains of their fire unaided. How much energy was she burning through to manage such a feat? Loki couldn't help but be intrigued. His skill with magic was strong, but hers was simply incredible.

"How far to the palace?" he asked innocently as they breakfasted on the last of the foraged berries.

"We're not going to the palace," Thor said.

Judging from his mother's reaction, this was news to her too. Loki looked at Thor with faint mistrust almost, certainly with concern.

"Oh," Loki said. "Where to, then?"

"I want to meet my father."

Loki braced himself. If Frigga had not seen her husband since before the final battle, had not tried to seek him out but had instead taken their child and gone to live among the other survivors, perhaps there had been some kind of spectacular argument.

He tried to be subtle in watching the queen's face, noting the tiny changes in her expression. He had seen some of them before, worn by Thor. Determination, resignation. She thought this a bad decision, but wasn't going to fight him.

"I doubt he'll respond to you any differently that he did when I last saw him five years ago."

Thor was clearly enraged by that, his voice tinged with anger but also a steely calm.

"You knew he yet lived. You lied to me. Again."

She sighed and Loki was struck by how little she looked like the old images he had seen of her before the war. She was tired. Exhausted. Her radiance was still there, but she was not shining in quite the same way. Her clothes might once have been cared for and skillfully made but now hung from her frame. Her hair was limp, clear evidence of malnutrition clinging to the hollows of her face and a fresh bandage over her eye. Perhaps she had given up on fighting. Perhaps she was preparing to rally. It could be either.

"Yes," she said. "And I'm sorry for that. But I was afraid. When he did not return... I thought he had been killed. Heimdall returned from the field and could tell me nothing of certainty. And when I could sense him out there, concealed and hidden, that was when the fear stepped in. If they wanted to destroy Asgard, they would want to remove the line of Borr. And that included you. Were they trying to lure me to search for him? Trying to draw me out and with me my son? I couldn't risk that. So I hid."

Loki frowned.

"Then why did you leave you child?" he asked before thinking. "We captured him and took him to Jotunheim. If we had known who he really was... Well, he might not still be here."

A horrible silence. What did that mean? What had she been doing? There had to be something here.

"You were doing something up at Yggdrasil," he said, thinking aloud. "You'd laced yourself into the world tree itself, you'd sacrificed for it..."

What had she been doing?

Now, of course, she was looking at him with a slight challenge in her good eye. Like she was challenging him to prove his knowledge, to work it out.

"Sacrifices are made for various reasons," he said vaguely. "So there are few clues there. Let's see... Fears for your son. A steady stream of people leaving the realm due to a lack of prosperity. Which was caused due to the Allfather being missing. His powers were not being utilised for the good of the realm."

An idea began to clamour at the back of his mind. Surely it couldn't be so...

"You found Odin. You broke through his concealment. And when you went to him and tried to reason with him and he refused. And so you decided to replace him."

He was right. He could tell by the way she looked away, the way she sighed.

"I did what I thought was right to save the realm," she said. "I gave my eye for wisdom, for power. But something about what I did was not right, not what the tree wanted. And now I wake from a strange dream of arms that held me up and a squirrel who brought me water and find the realm almost completely abandoned, my son grown so much in just five years... I failed. And that is the end of it."

She pushed herself to her feet and walked unsteadily to the ship.

"Take down the tent, Thor. Let's go and visit Odin. Maybe you can make him see sense."


	34. Chapter 34

Loki couldn't help it. He was ridiculously, dangerously intrigued by what Frigga had tried to do. Asgard was tied to its ruler in a similar way to Alfheim, though less severely. As far as he could tell, the elfin rulers were practically slaves to the land and injuries inflicted upon them would show on the landscape itself.

Asgard was not quite like that, but it relied on the power of its ruler to ensure strong soil, steady climate, all manner of natural things. The leader was to Asgard what the casket was to Jotunheim, necessary for the correct natural balance. With no-one wielding that power, no wonder the land seemed strange. Unhappy almost.

Being the Allfather was a privilege, but it must also be a terrible burden. Loki found himself looking at Thor, the firm look on his face as he steered their little craft towards the other set of mountains surrounding the city, and wondered if he had pushed him towards something he didn't want. He had never asked to be a prince. He hadn't known. He was happy not knowing.

"You're worried," Frigga said softly, not looking round.

Loki tried to nod subtly. He didn't want to upset Thor by having secret conversations, but nor did he want to jeopardize any respect he might be gaining from Frigga.

"Don't be," she said, voice pitched low. "Thor is resilient. He will be fine. He hasn't survived alone all this time by chance. And if he isn't... Well, we must be there for him."

 _We._ A team. She was inviting him to join her in a group of two, of people with affection for Thor, who wanted him safe and happy. What trust that was! She was willing to let him, son of their great enemy, have emotional power over her only child.

"Which way should I go?" Thor asked, apparently unaware of their conversation.

Or more likely, as Frigga gave directions, he was politely pretending he hadn't noticed them talking.

"Tell me about Jotunheim," Frigga asked at a far more audible volume, diffusing the tension slightly.

Loki wasn't even sure where to begin, speaking of Laufey, of his brothers, the court, the tentatively cordial relationship they enjoyed with other realms now that the wars seemed over for a time.

She didn't seem to pass any kind of judgement or even have an opinion on what he said, simply nodding and humming briefly.

"I remember Helblindi from when he was very small," she said. "Before the war, of course. And he was not particularly small when I met him, more the size of a young child while still being carried."

Loki frowned a little, a peculiar question on his tongue. One he had never really thought to ask before.

"Why did the war start? My father says Asgard was the aggressor. Is that true?"

Frigga turned to look at him, as though somehow surprised and not at the same time by his curiosity.

"We were," she said. "Jotunheim wanted to contact another realm, an underdeveloped one, with an interest in trading more advanced technology in return for its resources. We decided that we had the right to step in and forbid such contact, with weapons if necessary. And it turned out that weapons were indeed needed. Or so we decided at the time. We were worried that such actions might be dangerous to the beings that lived there."

"So it was our fault then. If we had not tried to exploit them..."

"In my experience, when it comes to matters like this, terms like fault and blame are very unhelpful. Yes, I still believe Asgard was right to prevent contact. But I also believe that more could have been done to avoid war. More diplomacy. More discussion. And certainly the threat to remove the Casket was stupid in the extreme. It gave Jotunheim everything to lose. No wonder they showed little mercy."

She was so pragmatic, and yet there was bitterness and pain in her tone. Blame wasn't particularly important. Not compared to dealing with the aftermath anyway.

"What happened to the other realm?" Thor asked.

Loki couldn't think of any realm they took things from that they did not have equal diplomatic relations with. Then again, it was possible that he just didn't know about it. He was hardly told everything after all.

"I believe they scouted and decided the difficulties outweighed the benefits of establishing trade at that time," Frigga said. "Exactly the same conclusion that Asgard came to some centuries earlier. If we had just waited... But the past is done. Wallowing will help nothing."

That was not bitterness. That was anger. And he thought he knew who it was directed at.

Loki looked down at the land they were flying over and thought about the man they were going to visit. The defeated warrior. The guilt he must feel, that his actions and mistakes brought this on his people. He could understand why Odin might want to go away and tend his wounds, both the physical and emotional ones.

But it had been a thousand years. Surely the needs of the realm would come first?

As Thor began manoeuvering the ship through the high peaks of the mountains, he supposed they'd just have to ask the Allfather in person.


	35. Chapter 35

The fog came suddenly and Loki knew it wasn't natural. No. Odin knew they were coming. And he was trying to put them off.

After making efforts to try to fly through it, Thor landed on a rocky outcrop, scowling up at the sky. He paced like a caged beast, mouth an ugly line of anger.

"Maybe it's me," Loki said. "Maybe he can sense you have a Jotun coming and fears a trap or something."

Thor shook his head.

"He doesn't get to make that choice. He left us, he left us all, so he doesn't get to choose the terms on which we meet now."

Loki couldn't bear his pacing, up and down and up and down, and reached out to him, determined to snap him out of it.

Thor at least gave him a smile, a squeeze of his shoulders to reassure him.

"I wish I had more knowledge of weather magic," Loki said. "I might be able to help. We need another downpour to clear this."

He watched curiously as Thor tilted his head to the side and only just held back a squeak as he pressed a kiss to his lips. Right in front of his mother. Yes, she wasn't exactly paying attention, but it was still embarrassing.

"I think you're right. That's exactly what we need. And I think I know how to get one."

He turned to Frigga, reclining in the ship and looking close to a nap. She smiled as Thor took her hand.

"Loki and I are going to explore the area, see the lay of the land. Will you be alright?"

"I can look after myself," she said, settling down among the blankets, her hair radiating out from her head.

The rest would do her good, Loki thought. And hopefully she wouldn't be disturbed by whatever plan Thor had twinkling away in his eye as he took Loki's hand and set off along a rough path around the mountain.

"What does magic feel like?" he asked.

What a question. He might as well have asked what talking felt like.

"Well, it can feel tiring," Loki said. "Erm... It's difficult to describe really."

"Does it feel like... Like throwing something? Like doing something physical?"

"It can, yes, depending on the spell. Why?"

Thor stopped and sighed, frowning out at the fog.

"I think I caused the downpour we saw," he said. "I think I did it somehow, without knowing."

Loki blinked at him. Unconscious magic was not impossible but it was rare. Then again, Thor's parents were both skilled mages. He might have inherited some raw talent from them.

"What did it feel like?"

Thor blushed and Loki couldn't help but smile. His worldly Thor, blushing for him.

"I felt it build while we were... er... being intimate. Waves almost. Every gasp and moan from you made me so glad. Glad that I was able to please you. I could feel it almost burning in my heart when you came and then when you made me spill. It was like my heart opened, blazed within me, and then the rain began. Rain like I had never seen. And it felt like part of me, that weather, overflowing with feeling."

"So... You think orgasms let you cause storms?"

"Maybe."

"Has that happened before?"

Loki stopped himself before finishing the thought. "Has that happened with other people" was implied. He didn't need to say it.

"No," Thor said. "I think it was something to do with you."

And now it was Loki's turn to blush.

"Are you asking me to... to do it again?"

"Not without reciprocation," Thor said, a crooked smile on his face. "In fact, I think your pleasure is more important to the process. And even if it doesn't work, I have been burning for you. Last night I dreamt that we were in a large, soft bed and that I took you to new heights of ecstasy, beautiful sounds pouring from your lips..."

It was still strange to be desired, but Loki was determined to hold his own. He could tease and play just as well.

"But instead of a proper bed you want to take me on a rock face?" he asked, pretending to be shocked. "While your mother sleeps nearby?"

Thor's hands came to his waist, casually claiming him.

"Take you?" he said, pulling Loki close. "Not here. No, darling, not until we have that proper bed as you say, where I can lay you on something as soft as you deserve, give you sheets and blankets to grip and writhe against..."

Loki found himself pressed against the mountainside with Thor grinding against him, whispering his plans into his ear as his fingers fumbled with the ties on his trousers.

But he wasn't willing to be passive. He was the other half of this fantasy and he would have his fair share of it.

"You like to know you please your lovers," he panted. "That's what pleases you, isn't it?"

He tried to hold back his moan as Thor managed to reach inside his clothes and freed his cock, giving it a cursory stroke before slipping back in, running fingers into his slit.

"How wet you are for me," he growled. "This is exactly how I want you to be, eager and wanting. Needy and begging for me."

"Begging? You would lay me on the finest silks and make me beg you to take me? Make me beg for your cock? Is that the first time that awaits me? I'm not sure I can be persuaded of that so quickly as you think."

Thor chuckled in a way that sent a shiver through Loki's whole body.


	36. Chapter 36

"It's only fair," Thor murmured, grinding hard against his hip. "That I am in charge the first time we consummate together."

"And why is that?"

"Because I fear from that moment on, that you will be able to control me with just a glance."

Loki panted helplessly, parting his legs to let Thor slide a finger into him, stroking carefully but firmly to make him keen. His heart was hammering loud in his head, not just from the touches, but the idea that he would get to be Thor's master after all. In this at least.

"Kiss me," he demanded to test this new allowance, letting Thor's lips muffle his moans as he rolled his hips, finding friction for his cock in the crush of their bodies.

He ripped at Thor's clothing ties, wanting to feel bare flesh, grinning against his mouth when Thor made an appreciative sound deep in his throat.

Oh, yes, he would enjoy being the one in control. Thor loved to please and he could provide such wants and needs for him to fulfil, taking them both to new heights. They would learn each other's bodies and preferences and all those places pleasure could be found.

How was Thor's stamina? He would get to find out. He imagined it all, how he would tie Thor up and ride him, how he would make him cry out Loki's name and praise him, how Thor would grin up at him from between his legs...

He almost yelped when Thor wrapped his hand around both their lengths, the sheer heat of Thor's cock compared to his own, a delicious warmth and such intimacy. Such sensitive flesh pressed together. He almost thought he could feel Thor's heartbeat through it.

A slip of Thor's other hand in just the right place was enough to finish him, desperate and helpless beneath his skills.

Which meant he could help Thor now, his blue skin contrasting with Thor's as he wrapped his hand around his cock.

"So good to me, Thor," he purred, starting to understand the excitement gained in pleasing one's partner. "Your fingers are magic. I can hardly wait to find out how it feels to be filled by you. I know you'll be gentle and sweet to me until I cry out for more, harder, faster..."

Thor snarled as he spilled, like he wanted soft flesh to bite and mark for his own and Loki wasn't sure why that excited him, but it did.

They kissed more gently, lazy after their climaxes, as the first heavy drops of rain began to fall through the fog.

"Do you think this will always happen?" Loki asked. "Every time we make each other come, a storm?"

"I'm sure I can learn to control it," Thor said. "With you and Mother's help, of course. And think of the fun we'll have experimenting..."

Loki held out his hands to the downpour, letting it rinse away Thor's spend.

"We shouldn't do that around anyone's homes in case we flood it," he said.

"Ooh, even better. Out in the wilderness where we won't need to hold back our cries."

His enthusiasm was infectious and Loki couldn't resist giving him a filthy, open-mouthed kiss - his inexperience not seeming to matter particularly - before they rushed back towards the ship.

Frigga was sitting in a little bubble, not being touched by the rain, arms folded and lips thin.

"What have you two been doing?" she demanded, gesturing to the storm billowing around them. "And don't try to tell me this is natural."

Thor looked a little sheepish, not meeting her gaze as as he returned to the helm, hair dripping onto the floor.

"I will explain it," he promised. "But for now I think we should move. Before Odin realises what has happened."

Frigga kept her eye narrowed but nodded all the same.

"You must get it from him, you know," she said. "I've never had much patience for weather magic. I much prefer talking to the plants rather than the sky. But I would still be interested to hear exactly how you have managed to harness this skill so suddenly."

Loki watched as Thor went a distinct shade of pink and tried to hold back his giggles.

It took him a moment to realise that Frigga's deliberate blink in his direction was in fact a wink. She knew. She just wanted to make Thor squirm a little.

Loki would probably be embarrassed once it stopped being funny.


	37. Chapter 37

Progress was slow. These mountains were full of rocky outcrops and sharp falls and though it was easier to see through Thor's storm than it was through the fog, visibility was still not good.

Loki wasn't sure if he was excited or scared. He had taken over the rain shielding from Frigga, trying not to seem like he was being patronising when he offered to do it. He just felt her energy was better conserved, just in case she needed it for healing. She had accepted with all the grace expected of a head of state and now he found himself sitting in the bow, acting as an extra pair of eyes for hazards.

A faintly uneasy silence had fallen between them, the gentle hiss of falling rain seeming all encompassing as they concentrated. The place they sought was somewhere in this area, but Loki suspected that the landscape couldn't be trusted.

He was right to be concerned. Frigga didn't speak, but tapped his leg, pointing to a peak they were passing. He stared at it, trying to understand what she was telling him, and then saw it. 

A large rock, moving by itself. Subtly, barely perceptibly, but moving all the same.

Odin was definitely doing something and while Loki was fairly certain that he wouldn't actively harm his wife or son, they would still have to be cautious.

"Haven't we already been here?" Thor asked, as of on cue. "I would swear I had seen that peak before. It looks like a carrot with that tree right on the summit."

Now that he mentioned it...

"That waterfall wasn't there before," Loki said uncertainly. "But you're right. We passed it an hour ago."

They hovered in place, spotting more and more familiar landmarks. They had already flown through this area.

Loki was alarmed when Frigga hauled herself to her feet, glaring out at their surroundings.

He was more alarmed by what she suggested.

"He's been running us in circles, changing things just enough to fool us. Thor, fly into that mountainside. Full speed."

"But... But what if...?"

"I know what I'm doing."

Loki was not convinced, throwing Thor a wild-eyed look. He had not come all this way, had not learned so much about himself and history and the universe to die for a queen's pride.

Thor was steering them towards the rock all the same, not very quickly and with his own misgivings written all over his face.

He pulled up sort and reached for his hammer, weighing it his hand thoughtfully.

He hurled it towards the mountain.

Loki watched it spin, handle over head, cutting through the rain like a charging beast.

It barreled closer and closer, Loki holding his breath.

It thudded into the side of the mountain with a horrible sound, sending rock and soil spiralling away. Loki heard a cry from his own mouth, an involuntary sound of panic. He turned to look back as Thor held out his hand, the muddy weapon flying back at his command. That could have been them.

Frigga frowned and looked away, waving a hand vaguely.

"Alright," she said. "Not that one. But one of these mountains isn't real. We'll find it and then him on the other side of it."

Thor, very diplomatically, said nothing but his raised eyebrows said it all as he moved to the next peak.

Throw. Thud. A hum as the hammer returned.

Throw. Thud. Hum.

Throw. Thud. Hum.

Throw...

The hammer passed directly through an apparently solid boulder and the mountain behind it. Loki stared, barely a ripple in the landscape, and had he not just seen it happen, he would never have believed it.

Thor let out a satisfied grunt and powered the ship towards the false peak.


	38. Chapter 38

Flying through a mountain was not an experience Loki had any wish to repeat any time soon.

For a start, the illusion was so complete, so skillful, that as they approached it he felt a rising panic, a deep fear that they'd made a mistake, that the hammer had fallen into a concealed hole or a bog or something, scrabbling back from the bow.

And then staring as it passed through like a blade through butter.

Frigga patted him on the shoulder, her bird-like hands comforting. Though, to be fair, what he really wanted was the warmth of Thor's touch. He gave Frigga a smile before making his way up towards the helm, settling himself by Thor's side and leaning lightly against his leg - nearly dry now and that soothing heat radiating from him.

He thought the mountain would vanish when they touched it. He thought it would be like passing beneath a waterfall perhaps, that they would find an entirely different world on the other side.

The darkness surprised him. Completely black, no light at all until he conjured one. And paradoxically, that only seemed to make it worse.

No matter what horrors he might have imagined hidden away, they were nothing to seeing his light vanishing without anything to cast a shadow, just swallowed up by endless horrible emptiness.

"Where are we?" he asked, wondering if he even wanted to know.

"Inside the rock," Frigga said, as if she hadn't just effectively said they were buried alive. "It has no real form, but it looks exactly right. This is what the insides of mountains look like. Though, of course, this is nothing more than a shadow. Think of it as a very dark cloud."

Loki tried not to think about it at all. He tried not to think about what might really be beneath them, or the fact that it currently looked like a bottomless pit.

Time seemed to slow. He could not even tell if they were moving or somehow suspended in space. It could be some kind of trap after all. Odin Outcast's stubbornness was literally the stuff of legend. If he was determined not to be found... Well, who knew what he would be capable of?

He shrieked as the boat suddenly lurched, gripping the side and clinging on for dear life, the bright light of outside almost blinding him through his eyelids.

He heard a crunch, like cracking ice, the hum from Thor's hammer and the slap of its leather handle against his palm. Smoke played around his nostrils, laced with some kind of roasting smell. The strange nuts they had been eating, he surmised, but cooked.

"Stay here," he heard Frigga murmur softly. "I will talk to him."

Once Loki felt that he could look without hurting his eyes, he opened them. The vessel had been beached, for want of a better word, on a mountain concealed behind the false one. They might have swerved around it a dozen times, not realising that the place they sought was there.

And what a place it was.

The fire was well-built, a permanent feature, a sort of clay oven nearby ready to receive hot embers. The sound of a waterfall reminded Loki of his own washroom back at home, easily accessible water for all purposes, fresh from the glacial peak. Beyond the cave mouth, he could see a set of rough wooden shelves with more of those strange paper brick books upon them and a skin suspended between two sides of a crevice. A bed off the ground. Safe. Smart.

But more amazing than anything Odin had managed to build on his own was the fact that the man himself was sat before them, gloomily staring at some blackening kernels. He must have scavenged the pan he was cooking with, Loki decided. The fire was surely not hot enough to craft metal in.

He looked old and small, troubled and dejected. Very little like the triumphant ruler Loki remembered from his studies of Asgard. His beard was over-long and scraggly, his eyes shadowy and haunted and his hands almost clawed where he poked the contents of his pan around with a stick.

Loki expected him to say something. To ask why they were there, to tell them to leave, to make some kind of excuse.

Instead he gestured at his cave without looking up.

"It's in the corner," he muttered, that same kind of croaked voice Thor had used back when they first began speaking to each other."

"What is?" Thor asked.

No answer. Like he hadn't heard. Loki glanced up and startled to find that he couldn't see Thor next to him. He couldn't see his own body either. Frigga had made them invisible and probably sealed their voices to the inside of the ship. Odin had no idea they were there. It was so strange. To feel Thor there and yet not see him.

There was a sob in front of them and he looked to find that to his horror and surprise, Frigga had begun to weep.

In the next moment, she had scrambled out of the boat and was kneeling beside her husband, pulling him into a damp embrace.

After carefully moving his pan out of harm's way, Odin held her too, his breath coming in little bursts.

How often had he seen pictures of the Allfather and Allmother, regal and shining and proud, like statues of living gold? And here they were before him, injured and desolate, after so long apart. Was there still love there? He hadn't expected there to be, not after the long separation.

He had expected yelling more than warmth.

As such, when Frigga's voice began to echo all around them, he probably shouldn't have been so surprised.


	39. Chapter 39

"You really think I'm here for that? To take that... that thing away?"

Odin sighed heavily, exactly the way Thor did when exasperated.

"You seemed to want it five years ago," he said, grouchily turning away.

"And where do you think I've been since then when you refused to come home? What do you think I've been doing? You must have felt it."

"You know I did. You knew that I would feel it the moment you reached Yggdrasil. And now that you have been successful, I yield Gungnir to you."

Loki was completely lost. They were speaking of things he had no idea of. He knew Gungnir, of course. The king's spear. It was symbolic and powerful. It was the right of Asgard's ruler to wield it.

So from what they were saying, Frigga had decided to usurp her husband. She had left Thor originally to find Odin, thinking to be back soon enough, after a month or so, with her husband in tow. He had denied her for some reason and so she had gone to a higher power. The only higher power, the beating heart of Asgard itself, the world tree.

But rather than granting her power, it took her into itself. It kept her safe and alive, but it did not give her what she wanted - the power to take care of all the residents of Asgard, to finally begin rebuilding, to make the land prosperous and welcoming once again. Something wasn't right. It wouldn't let her.

Why not? She was the queen. In times of crisis, it was right that she would rule, especially since Thor would not have been at his majority when she made the journey to Yggdrasil. It didn't make sense.

She didn't flinch as Odin traced the lower edge of the bandage they had used to cover her missing eye. Had he known what sacrifices she would make for it? Had he known that it would not work? He surely couldn't have done or he would never have allowed her to go.

"You were up there a long time," he said softly. "I could feel your heartbeat but nothing more. You know that there was nothing I could do."

Frigga drew back. She stood and moved away.

"You could do nothing for that, I know. But the rest of it... A thousand years. It's been so long. Don't you think you've hidden long enough? Do you really think you had to hide from your family?"

"Do you blame me? I stay in the shadows to protect us. Laufey... If I came out and he knew, it would be the end for us all. He would kill me, you and our child. Can you blame me for wanting to delay that? For wanting to postpone the day that my family is struck down?"

He saw Frigga soften.

"Things are different now," she said. "In more ways than you know."

Loki felt Thor's hand on his shoulder, tracing blindly down his arm until he could take his hand. Loki brought it to his lips. They were each thinking the same thing.

Through them, Asgard and Jotunheim could be at peace. Why would Laufey attack a land jointly ruled by his son? Trade deals, diplomatic agreements, all those things would follow if he and Thor...

Well, if they got married, he supposed.

He wished he could see Thor's face. He was reaching the same conclusion. What was his reaction?

What was his own reaction? Loki wasn't even sure. Happy, he told himself, but that wasn't all. It was too soon. How long had he known Thor? Longer than he would know any other realm's heir that his father decided to marry him off to. But still. They were lovers out here in the wild, but would that still stand in a palace? In Asgard's palace, with no money to restore it? No people to help with the rebuilding, no money to pay them even if there were?

Would their affection survive such difficulties? Could it even thrive with challenges put before them? After all, his worst fear was boredom, was it not? And striving to restore Asgard would certainly not be boring...

This was probably the closest thing to a choice he would ever have when it came to marriage. Which meant no one to blame but himself if it went badly. But still. It was his choice.

He looked back at Odin and Frigga. So many decisions. Deciding to intervene, deciding to go to war, deciding to go into hiding, decisions, decisions, decisions...

"They took Thor," Frigga said, and that seemed to finally rouse her husband, leaping to his feet. "But he came back. And he brought someone else with him."

"He escaped?" Odin asked. "But how? How could he have?"

"The only way he could. With help."

He felt Frigga's spell dissolve, saw Odin reflexively take a step back.

He felt Thor wrap his other arm around him protectively and tried not to be afraid.


	40. Chapter 40

Loki had never experienced such an appraisal before. Odin's look was not as intense as the gatekeeper's had been perhaps, but it carried a real sense of judgement.

It suddenly hit him that they were enemies. He was the son of Laufey, the one who had forced Asgard into submission. He even looked rather like his father. What emotions would rise in Odin's heart to see his son embracing his foe's child?

Well, Loki decided he didn't care. Odin had never tried to be part of Thor's life. He spoke as if his absence was entirely born of a desire for safety, to keep his son and wife protected and hidden. But he had neglected them. He had not protected Thor from the raiders any more than he had protected Frigga from the dangers of Yggdrasil. How long would she have hung there in the branches if they had not found her?

There was more to this self-imposed exile. Loki could tell. He felt the very same emotion too often himself. Shame. Odin was ashamed. Through his decisions, Asgard had fallen. How could he face the people, how could he stand before them and claim their loyalty when he had lost?

He understood more than Odin could possibly realise.

The king's hand shook as he reached out and then drew back.

"My son," he said, voice trembling. "I never thought I would... Oh, my boy."

Thor said nothing. Loki could almost feel the anger in him, and couldn't fault him for it. Abandonment, lies... Hardly the acts of the most caring parents, however noble their intentions had been. He had been so alone. Well, never again.

Loki swore it in his heart. No matter what happened, even if their affair came to nothing and their love cooled, he would never allow Thor to be left alone again. He'd surely had enough of that to last a lifetime.

"Mother, take the... whatever it is. Let's go."

Loki looked round at him in surprise. Had he come all this way and decided not to even acknowledge his father?

"Thor," Frigga said. "Please."

But Thor was furious. His grip tightened unconsciously.

"A thousand years. You have hidden here for a thousand years, saying you did it for our safety? I was taken prisoner. I was put in a cage, treated like a mindless beast. Where were you then? If they had known who I was..."

A wave of fear rolled through Loki. They knew who he was. Thor was right, if his family had known he was the son of Odin, he would have been tortured and killed. Why should Asgard be any different?

He pulled away from Thor, scrambled away. He'd done this himself, had delivered himself into the enemy's hands. Why wouldn't Odin kill him?

Thor frowned faintly and then realised what was going through his mind.

"Loki," he said, reaching out. "It's not what you think."

"Stay back! Don't touch me."

Thor held up his hands, not trying to enter his space.

"I swear, nothing will harm you. I won't let it. You can trust me. I... I love you."

It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. There was base passion and attraction, but that was all.

But then he looked into Thor's face and he knew. He knew that Thor would not allow anything to hurt him, that that was true at least.

"Loki," Frigga said. "Believe me, you are worth much more to us alive and unharmed. Now, let's all calm down and talk about this."

"About what?" Thor asked.

Loki had thought Frigga elegant from the moment he met her, but watching her stand tall, proud and regal, Loki knew he was looking at a true leader.

"Why, the future of Asgard of course."


	41. Chapter 41

Loki couldn't help feeling out of his depth. Diplomacy and statesmanship were one thing, but dealing with a crisis was quite another.

And he couldn't help feeling a little embarrassed. Thor had agreed to get out of the boat and sit by Odin's fire, but he was unwilling to let go of Loki's hand. Sitting opposite the king and queen of Asgard while holding hands with their son? He hoped his face wasn't too obviously heated.

Not that he didn't want to hold hands with Thor, just maybe not in front of his parents.

"We have to decide on a plan for the future," Frigga said as Thor absentmindedly ran his thumb over Loki's knuckles. "The next generation is already coming up behind us with new ideas and new love."

Well, he was definitely blushing now.

"The simplest method," she continued. "Would be to petition Laufey for Loki's hand. With his son and grandchildren in line to inherit, the raiding parties will stop. He might even aid in the rebuilding of Asgard. But we cannot do that while the realm's balance is so damaged. We need a ruler."

"How can I do that?" Odin asked, desolate. "How can I show my face? I lost. I took our people into war and saw them killed. I cannot rule after that."

They looked to Thor, his nostrils flared and lips thin, eyes harsh and suspicious, considering before he spoke.

"And what happens when Laufey refuses to marry off his son? What happens when he is furious to discover that his son's pet is his enemy's heir and that they have uncovered the hiding place of Odin Outcast? You really think he'll accept that his child wasn't manipulated? If we start petitioning from here, what's to stop him claiming that Loki was kidnapped and at the mercy of those evil Asgardians?"

Loki wasn't sure how he felt about that little implication.

"I do have some standing, you know," he said. "I have been helping pass judgement in our courts for centuries."

"He treats you like a child."

Loki knew he was only angry because he knew Thor was right. It was going to be difficult to convince Laufey that he was doing this of his own volition. They would think him bewitched by Frigga or Odin or both. Why else would he willingly allow himself to be wed to a beast? That is what they thought Thor was after all.

He tapped his fingers against the ground, thinking.

"The only way he would agree to it would be for it to be his idea. Or at least for it to appear to be so. We'll have to go back to Jotunheim, manipulate him into it."

"Well, you know him best," Frigga said. "How would you go about that?"

It was going to be difficult, he knew that much. Although he prided himself of being able to outwit him, his father was far from stupid. If Loki appeared too changed by his experiences, or if he pushed too hard too early, he would become suspicious.

"Thor and I should go back," he said. "As though my plan to master his berserker rage has succeeded. I will tell him that I have begun to wonder about Thor, about his identity."

"Won't Laufey simply kill him?" Odin asked, not even asking for explanations.

Loki bit his lip. It was a risk. He couldn't deny that it was.

"If he believes me in thrall to Loki, perhaps he will see me as more valuable if alive," Thor said.

"From what I've seen, you are in thrall to him," Frigga said, making Thor look away, embarrassed.

He was right though. If they could convince Laufey to have Thor as a puppet king under Loki's control...

"You can't suddenly reveal yourselves after the fact," Loki said to the Allmother and Allfather. "He must know that you yet live, that you would be willing to compromise. My people are weary of war. A chance to take Asgard by stealth would appeal, I think. Besides, Thor is my pet, as far as they are concerned. His wellbeing is my responsibility. If necessary... we can flee Jotunheim. But I hope it will not come to that."

Odin still looked uneasy and perhaps that was what prompted Thor to nod firmly.

"I trust you," he said. "You know how best to handle the Jotun court. You lead, I will follow."

Loki smiled at him, but couldn't help a concerned little shiver from rolling through him all the same.

Thor's life in his hands.

How he wished he still felt worthy of that.


	42. Chapter 42

Loki swung the doors of the great hall open with some pride. Had the people of Jotunheim expected him back in one piece? Had they expected him to yet be in the company of his berserker? Had they expected him to successfully traverse the route back home from Asgard, concealed and disguised as it was?

He strode in, Thor on his heels with his hammer - Mjölnir, they now knew it was called, after Odin had reacted with a strange blend of surprise, fear and delight that his son was holding it. Loki hadn't quite followed the significance, but he did understand that was probably helping channel Thor's natural weather powers. Just how he fitted into the equation remained to be seen.

Laufey rose to his feet, checking for signs of injury and on finding none lead a round of surprised applause. Even Helblindi seemed impressed.

"What news of Asgard?" the king asked. "Was your quest successful?"

Loki bowed respectfully and snapped his fingers to prompt Thor to do the same. The murmurs of the crowd almost made him giggle. How easily they were taken in by the ruse.

"Much news, Father. I shall recount all of it after a long bath. Rinsing in streams can only do so much. But yes. I have successfully bonded with Thor of Asgard."

A ripple of shock now. They had not had faith in him. They had not believed him capable of such a feat.

"When can we expect a demonstration of this legendary rage?" Helblindi called.

Typical that he would call a bluff just in case. Still, nothing that couldn't be handled with the right care.

"Tomorrow," Loki said. "I fear he and I require a little rest before providing a suitable show. Though I warn any who wish to observe that he is merciless. If I am distracted for even a moment, it could spell disaster. But for now, I will retire. Please send a tub for Thor. I'm sure he will appreciate it."

The excitement of the crowd at the promise of seeing a real berserker was palpable as they left the hall.

"You are terrible," Thor teased once they were inside his chambers. "Lying to them like that."

"Lying?" Loki gasped. "They'll get a show, will they not?"

"I await your command, as you well know."

Their kissing was rudely interrupted by the arrival of a servant with a basin for Thor to bathe in. Loki would have liked to share, but he doubted there would be enough space in his bath and actual washing needed to occur.

He had become used to being a little grimy and revelled in being able to scrub off layers of dead skin.

He revelled more in being in an elevated position, one that allowed him to look down at Thor as he washed. Not in any sort of lewd way, but out of curiosity. He had only seen Thor naked once after all and he had been shy then. Now he wanted to see the connections between all the parts of him, the expanses of skin, the shifting muscles, which had always been hidden beneath his clothes.

It was undeniable that he liked what he say, hurriedly looking away whenever it looked like Thor might glance round at him.

"I know what you're doing," Thor said eventually.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Loki said, innocently scrubbing his nails.

A slosh as Thor stood up, water flooding down his body, arms outstretched

"Go on," he said, a cocky smile on his face. "Look your fill."

Loki tried to maintain a cool detachment as he did just that, his eyes moving from the swell of Thor's shoulders and down his chest, the soft pink nipples nestled there in golden hair that grew darker the closer it got to his cock. He admired the shape of his hips, his thighs and calves, the way each part of him flowed into the next.

"Turn around for me," Loki ordered.

Thor laughed and obeyed, definitely flexing deliberately so Loki could see his back ripple, biting his lip as his gaze fell lower.

Ooh. So firm and round. His mind was suddenly filled with fantasies of getting to hold onto that particular piece of anatomy while Thor was...

He shook himself out of such pleasant musings as he saw goosebumps flow over Thor's skin. Evidently he needed to be warmed up and soon.

That didn't stop him from stealing kisses and they dried off and got dressed and nor did it prevent Thor from stroking his legs in the most wicked of ways from his usual place beneath the high table.

Loki tried his best to follow the plan. He dropped hints and made vague suggestions of a resurgent force in Asgard. Not Odin, he didn't think. Perhaps an heir. Who knew, for Frigga had not been seen in so long.

He tried to plant certain ideas in his father's mind, but whether they would be successfully cultivated remained to be seen.

The cage lay empty as he and Thor curled up in his bed, both of them sighing happily at such luxury after sleeping so long on thin camp blankets.

But they elected not to kiss more than a little for fear that it might lead irresistibly to more.

A sudden blizzard would be rather difficult to explain after all.


	43. Chapter 43

Loki wanted to show Thor off, but his dreams of sending him into the arena in a skimpy loincloth was impractical given the climate. Unfortunately.

Instead he looked threatening and powerful in his leather, bare arms the only concession to Loki's wish for everyone to see him in his natural splendour.

The crowd were palpably nervous as several large targets carved from solid ice were produced, laid out in a complex pattern as they always were on these occasions. Loki had carefully choreographed the way Thor would attack them, planning to point and appear to direct his flow through the figures. Of course, much of it depended on Thor's ability to act the part, but that wouldn't be difficult.

Loki waved to the waiting populous, getting a few half-hearted cheers. They were cautious. Such little faith they had. Such fear that he didn't have the ability to keep control.

Laufey was above all of them, of course, seated on a raised platform with Helblindi by his side. Even Byleister was putting in a rare appearance, yawning as if he had just got out of bed. Which he probably had.

Silence fell as Laufey stood, signalling to Loki that he ought to begin. He turned to Thor, a hand on his shoulder, eyes closed as though concentrating.

"Are you ready?" he whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear.

In answer, Thor let out a gutteral yell, a sound of intense fury that provoked gasps from the crowd. Loki opened his eyes in a flash and pointed at the target in the centre of the field. Thor charged it, Mjölnir held high, grunting and snarling as he decapitated it.

Loki swung an arm to the left and watched as Thor span in a complete circle before despatching three in a row. A jerk of his wrist appeared to pull Thor diagonally back towards him, smashing the closest target to shards, turning it into a little storm of snowflakes.

From there, complex gestures while Thor rolled through the rest of the field, snarling and howling as though overcome with uncontrollable bloodlust, smashing and striking in a frenzy, carrying on long after a living enemy would have died.

When finally he finished, Loki called him back with just his name, bringing him to heel.

It took a moment for the crowd to react, stunned as they were by such a savage display. But then they applauded, cheered, roared at such power as Loki laid his hand on Thor's head as though soothing him back to normal.

Loki looked up at his father, still looking for a little recognition. He couldn't deny that despite his plotting with Asgard, he still yearned for that approval, a sign that he was being respected as an adult.

He was not looking to see Helblindi getting up and making his way down to the arena, towering over him and Thor in challenge.

"Fighting frozen enemies is easy," he said. "I want to know how powerful your pet would be against a live foe."

Loki looked at his brother's weapon, a huge battle axe decorated with jewels given as love tokens or taken in military campaigns. It wasn't the sharpest of all tools but it would be devastating if his aim was true.

Thor looked at him with fire in his eyes, jaw set. He nodded at Loki's raised eyebrows. He thought he could fight, maybe win. He wanted to fight, wanted to win.

"Don't hurt him," Loki said.

"Oh, I won't."

Loki didn't even bother telling Helblindi that he wasn't talking to him.

Instead he just had to watch as his brother circled around Thor like a bird of prey around a rodent, waiting to strike. He feinted to gasps from the crowd, but Thor barely blinked.

It was going to be difficult. Helblindi was a trained warrior, a veteran of many military skirmishes. Thor would be working mainly on instinct and whatever natural advantages he could find in his smaller stature.

Helblindi was cocky though. Perhaps that could be exploited.

He made a few more false moves, lunging forward only to pull back at the last second, laughing and posturing to the crowd.

And then he made the mistake of turning his back.

Thor slammed his foot into the back of Helblindi's knee - impressively so, since he had to make a run at it to get high enough - and leapt onto his back as he fell, managing to get in a few blows with his fists even as the giant tried to throw him off.

Mjölnir was left on the ground. A blow with the hammer could kill. That was not an option here.

Instead, Thor wrapped his arms around Helblindi's neck, almost in a choke hold, and clung on, kicking his back viciously and biting by the looks of things.

He couldn't keep the upper hand for long. Helblindi managed to pluck him from his back, getting another harsh bite for his trouble and threw Thor into the dirt where he scrabbled and rolled away.

Loki's heart was in his mouth. Blood flowed from the back of his brother's neck and stained Thor's mouth as he scrambled away, finally picking up Mjölnir.

No, no... That would end badly.

Helblindi cut off his retreat by throwing a large ice spike, forcing Thor to turn and face him. Loki could see the fear in his eyes as it changed to anger, rage as instead he began to charge. Helblindi held his ground, legs apart, defenses up, but totally unprepared for what was about to be inflicted on him.

Loki couldn't see exactly what had happened, but Helblindi suddenly buckled in pain, leaving himself open to be kicked to the ground and for Thor to once again leap on his back, this time raising Mjölnir high, as it he really meant it, like he was really going to...

"Thor!" Loki yelled, watching his head jerk. "Stop. Enough."

In an instant, Thor was heading towards him, bruised and stumbling and pulling him close, resting their foreheads together in a show of affection and submission.

"Are you hurt?"

A little moan. Yes, then. Battered, but walking.

"I'm sorry," Loki whispered. "I'm sorry."

Thor leant into his touch. Forgiveness as Helblindi crawled forwards, groaning.

"What did you do to him?"

"I headbutted him in a rather sensitive area," Thor mumbled.

Well, he evidently wasn't proud of it, but it had worked all the same. When Loki helped his brother up, as best he could considering the size differences, he thought he saw something like respect in his eyes.

About time too.


	44. Chapter 44

Poor Thor. Loki patched him up carefully before they left the battlefield and made their way down to the professional healers. Nothing broken, just some bruising. Helblindi hadn't actually fared much worse, just needing the scratches from Thor's teeth looked at.

"So, little monster," Helblindi said as he was bandaged. "I know you can talk. Where did you learn to fight like that?"

Thor looked to Loki for approval before replying.

"When you're this small, relatively, opportunity is everything. Though I apologise for my dishonourable attack."

"On the battlefield, that could be life or death. No harm done. No lasting harm anyway."

He held out his huge hand for Thor to shake as best he could.

Alas, Laufey was not so easily placated.

He stormed into the ward they were occupying, fuming and furious. Loki wasn't quite sure who he was more angry with, his eldest for putting himself at risk or Loki for not calling off his pet earlier.

"I knew what I was doing," Helblindi insisted.

"I said he was dangerous," Loki mumbled, petulance coming all too easily to him.

Still, even having been banished to his chambers, Loki knew they had had a successful day. They had achieved both their objectives. Firstly, they had convinced everyone that Thor was a true berserker and under Loki's control.

And secondly, they had managed to put on a show big enough that news would spread, through Byleister and his friends, through anyone with contacts in other realms. An Asgardian in Jotunheim, surely born towards the end of the war. Frigga was already beginning to rebuild with Odin's hidden help. It would be a long time before their labours began to be evident, but they would already be sending out rumours of their own. A lost son, born towards the end of the war, missing for centuries.

Whether they would be so obvious as to give his name was up to them. By the time the two stories met each other, somebody might have put two and two together.

With that in mind, the show went on. They were to be inseparable. Thor was slowly going to start talking around others, Helblindi at first but gradually more and more. He would prove himself an intelligent being as well as a terrifying beast.

And then when Frigga sent word that she wanted her son back...

Well, Loki intended to play it by ear.

If Laufey acquiesced - unlikely, but possible - he and Thor would both stress their desire to remain together, appealing to the side of Laufey that had always wanted to spoil his smallest child rotten.

If - more likely - he refused, it would be up to them to try to manufacture some sort of peace arrangement. Mercy for the poor, downtrodden Asgardians.

Getting it right was key. Laufey could not know they had planned this, could not know that they wanted to be married off to one another or had discussed such a thing. It was vital that he believed it to be his skill and intelligence which got his bloodline on the throne of the revived Asgard.

Loki couldn't help but be a little worried though. There were still far too many risks, too many potential problems. It was lucky that Helblindi had taken defeat well. He would potentially be a fine ally to have. After all, it would be him ruling Jotunheim after Laufey passed on. He would be Thor's equivalent in a few centuries. A good relationship would be very useful.

How strange to already be thinking in terms of diplomacy.

No doubt Frigga would be very proud of him.


	45. Chapter 45

Two months after their public display and Loki was growing restless. He had his reasons. Many of them.

They had not yet heard from Asgard for a start. Not even a whisper of the returning queen. And while they were making headway in charming Helblindi, forming brotherly bonds and something close to friendship - even if he and Thor were swamped by the chairs in his brother's chambers - the knowledge that he had to keep up this pretence of having no ulterior motive for as long as it took for Asgard to be ready preyed on his mind.

And there was something else bothering him too almost every time they went to bed.

Not that he could generally express it during...

"Mmm, Thor... Ooh, yes."

"You like that?"

Thor's fingers were crooked deep inside, steadily and almost painfully slowly rubbing over the most pleasant spot and yet providing him with no real release from the shudders rolling through him.

"Stop teasing."

Thor laughed, the bed shaking with it, twisting his wrist again to make Loki squirm.

"I like it very much," he said, answering his own question. "I like seeing you like this, feeling your body cling so tightly to my fingers. That's it, feel it, take what you need."

He wrenched away Loki's hands as he tried to touch his cock, insisting on doing it himself, providing all his pleasure.

"Ah... Mmm..."

"There?"

Surely the way his hips were helplessly rolling, thrusting up into Thor's grasp and down onto his fingers was something of a clue. A clue Loki was not prepared to verbalise as his body trembled through climax, finally.

He felt like Thor had kept him on edge for hours and flopped loosely on his sheets, eyelids heavy and skin soaked in sweat as he watched Thor finish himself off by hand. Too tired to try to get what he wanted.

Pouting didn't take much effort though. He could manage that.

"What's the matter?" Thor asked, snuggling in. There was no need to clean up physically. Loki had learned a spell for that soon after their arrival.

"You never let me touch you anymore."

Thor made a confused face and Loki knew he was going to be difficult and pretend he didn't understand when he knew full well what Loki was talking about.

"You are always so attentive to me and to my desires," Loki said, idly playing with the spill on his stomach before vanishing the evidence away. "But I never get to stroke you to completion now, let alone anything more than stroking..."

"But I enjoy attending to you. I love having you all open and beautiful, panting for my touch."

"Then you will understand my frustration that you will not allow me to reciprocate."

Thor sighed as he lay back, staring at the ceiling.

"You mustn't be offended," he said. "It is not your fault. But on both occasions that you did finish me, I caused torrential downpours. I'm afraid. I worry that I might cause flooding or damage or... But you mustn't think that it's your doing because it isn't, it's something wrong with me."

Well, it made sense. But he should have asked for Loki's help. It was a magical issue after all. Thor needed to learn how to contain himself.

"I will go to the library tomorrow," he said, kissing Thor forgiveness. "Surely there is a way to work through this and give us both what we want."

Thor smiled gratefully, opening his arms for Loki to nestle in.

"I want nothing more," he said softly. "I'm sure you have great plans for me."

"One or two ideas," Loki said, tracing spirals on Thor's skin with the tip of a finger. "Involving you, me, a bed, moaning and sweating and panting..."

"Who's teasing now?"

"Oh, come on, it hardly counts when we both suffer, surely."

In answer, Thor just kissed the top of his head, which Loki took as agreement.

It was nice not to have to speak sometimes.


	46. Chapter 46

"Are you managing to find what you're looking for, your highness?"

Loki turned his head, holding onto a shelf and perched on Thor's shoulders to reach up high enough.

"Yes," he said to the nervous-looking librarian. "Thank you. I'll be sure to call for help if I need it."

The scrolls spiralled away towards the ceiling. Loki knew what he was looking for though. Information about weather magic and natural gifts. If Thor learned to control his power, they could be physically mutual again. Just as Loki wanted.

He steered Thor with light touches to his head, directing him left and right and forwards as he gathered the scrolls he wanted. They were written in blue-black ink from sea creatures upon the unbroken hides of great beasts. Very delicate. Very special.

Two taps to his head had Thor crouching, letting Loki lightly step down from his shoulders before commandeering an entire wing to research in.

He unrolled his first text along the whole length of a table and stood on a chair to look at it. After about ten minutes, he rolled it back up again. Nothing he didn't already know.

The second one was far more interesting, warranting the taking of notes. It said that naturally manifesting powers often first became known with the help of a conducting object. "Mjölnir?" he wrote, underlining it many times.

And as for controlling himself...

"You can still orgasm without causing a flood?"

"Yes," Thor said slowly. "It's only when you help me that I seem to boil over."

Loki consulted several more scrolls before finding something helpful.

"It says here that involuntary power surges may be caused by extremes of feeling," he said, finger running along the paragraph in question.

"That makes sense. It happens when I feel overwhelmed by you."

"Such surges can be controlled through careful release of built up power. So we teach you to control the storm at will and then you can release energy safely."

"And then find release equally safely," Thor said, very pleased by this idea.

Well, good. Loki certainly couldn't wait to touch him again, properly. He wanted to feel that hot, firm flesh in his grasp, maybe even in his mouth and then...

How would it feel to have Thor enter him? His fingers had the power almost to overwhelm him with pleasure. His cock would be less precise, but he would be deliciously full. He imagined Thor above him, mouth open in a moan of ecstasy, for he would be so wet and ready for him, legs tight around his hips and arching up into him.

And when he began to thrust... Loki could almost hear it. The praise, the desire that would fall from Thor's lips. "Yes, yes, oh, so good... Mmm, darling, just like this. Oh, Loki..."

"Loki?"

He blinked his way back to the present, Thor looking at him in a sort of confused amusement.

"You were a long way away, I fear," he said, lips quirked into a crooked smile.

"I was in the future," Loki said. "When you will finally have your fantasy of taking me upon soft sheets until I am happily, blissfully satisfied."

In public, Thor would not dare kiss him. Even in this relative privacy, he would not risk it, merely giving Loki's hand a quick squeeze.

"I can hardly wait for that day," he said softly. "And I will do all you ask if it will hasten it. But might I tell you of another fantasy of mine? One we can try once the day is over?"

"I fear you had best whisper it to me," Loki said, rolling up the scrolls ready to be put back in their rightful place.

His face grew purple as be blushed, Thor's words making his body almost glow with want.

"I think that could be arranged, yes."


	47. Chapter 47

"Forward a little more. A little wider... Perfect. Mmm, what a beautiful sight that is. Sweet and irresistible."

Loki's knuckles were pale blue, almost white where he gripped the carved headboard of his bed.

They had spent much of the day trying to work out how to control Thor's power with little success. To be fair, he did manage to summon a snow storm, but it had been more of a few small flurries of flakes than a genuine weather event. Little steps though. They would get there.

And so Loki decided after several frustrating hours to fulfill Thor's wish for a new position. He had his knees planted on either side of Thor's head, nude, lower legs splayed out to make room for his shoulders and wide enough apart that Thor could see everything, the way his cock was already twitching eagerly and how his cunt glistened in readiness.

"Can I taste you?"

As if he would say no. Loki sighed happily at the first pass of Thor's tongue, the new angle very pleasurable indeed as Thor made great use of the very tip, teasing around his opening and the base of his cock. He couldn't resist rocking into the motion slightly.

"Mmm... Yes, I like that."

He knew such words would get him more attentions, a warm buzz as Thor hummed in happiness of his appreciation, growing sloppier but then...

"Ah! Ah, Thor!"

He'd pointed his tongue and thrust in, inside, the warm muscle only managing to reach about an inch of him but all the same, such a strange and intense feeling. He almost squealed when Thor began to pump his tongue in and out in an approximation of sex, a preview of what surely was to come.

Loki's hand found his cock, but he wanted to draw things out a bit more, using only long, slow strokes to keep himself on edge.

"Oh... Mmm, yes. Oh, I can't wait for it to be your cock inside me. Sometimes I will want it just like this, sitting above you that I might rock and bounce and take all that I want."

Thor's growl rolled through him, hands gripping his thighs to feel his movements, never a beat missed as Thor matched every roll of his hips.

It was the sweetest torture, to be teased but not filled, and Loki eagerly spread his legs even wider when he felt Thor's fingers at his entrance and his tongue running up the underside of his cock.

"Move back just a little," Thor panted. "I can't bend like that."

His eyes were dark and narrowed in excitement, running over Loki's body with pride, admiring the evidence of his arousal and pleasure, his own handiwork, as he eased his fingers inside.

"I want it too, you know," he said softly. "I cannot wait to hear you cry out for more, to hear how good I can make you feel. But for now, I will settle for your moans from this."

He took the head of Loki's cock between his lips, licking and teasing before leaning up to take more. It was not the best angle, but Loki didn't care. All he cared about were the waves of pleasure rolling through him with each twist of Thor's fingers, how easily they took him apart.

Involuntarily, he rocked forwards, hearing Thor make a surprised sound.

"Sorry," he managed. "Sorry, I just..."

Thor mumbled something - difficult with his mouth full - and with his other hand eased Loki's hips forwards and back, encouraging him to thrust gently into his mouth and back down onto his fingers.

He wanted Loki in control? Very well.

Which was better? The hot, wet sanctuary of Thor's mouth or the skilled tips of his fingers? Loki couldn't decide, happily rolling between the two while Thor's eyes glittered up at him, bringing his other hand into play to stroke the rest of his cock in counterpoint with his tongue.

"Thor... Ah, fuck, Thor, you'll make me... Ooh, right there..."

He was so close, desperately close, hardly able to breathe and surely about to burst...

A knock on the door. Loki slammed a securing spell into it, even though he knew it was already locked.

"Yes?" he asked, stilling his hips and glaring at Thor's mischievous look, his tongue and fingers still working to drag Loki closer to the edge.

"Your highness is summoned to the great hall. His majesty requests your presence immediately."

Typical. His father had such awful timing.

"Yes, I'm coming," Loki called, Thor giggling quietly beneath him in a way that made him ache for it, so very, very close...

"It is extremely urgent, your highness."

"I'll be there," Loki grunted, his hands back on the headboard as he tried to hold on, the pleasure building within him and about to burst. "What's so important?"

"An emissary from Asgard has arrived, my prince."

Loki hoped his loud gasp would be interpreted as one of surprise. It partially was, after all.

He looked down at Thor, eyes wide as he swallowed.

"I'm on my way," Loki said, successfully keeping the tremors of his body out of his voice.


	48. Chapter 48

Hair mussed, clothes only just fastened, Loki burst into the hall and scurried to his little throne, nervous to look upon the Asgardian who had come to visit.

It could not be Frigga or Odin. The gatekeeper then? Who else was there in Asgard?

He finally dared to look up at the small figure. Long, dark hair a little like his own and large dark eyes. He wore a strange garment, breeches but with a very long tunic, falling to mid-thigh. It seemed more elfin than Aesir. Perhaps he had recently returned from Alfheim.

The Asgardian glanced nervously between the royal family of Jotunheim a few times and then dropped into a deep bow.

"Great Laufey," he said in a warm voice, far higher than Thor's. "I bring you greetings from Queen Frigga, returning monarch of Asgard. She sends a message of peace and hope for the future. She wishes for cooperation and understanding between our two realms."

Now he straightened and Loki saw as he spotted Thor and swallowed hard. He was the advance guard. He was to try to bring Thor home.

"Further to this," he said carefully. "She has heard you have an Asgardian living in your court, one she believes to be her lost son, Thor, son of Odin, missing this past year. She requests that he is returned home as soon as is convenient."

Loki dared to glance across to his father, the look of horror upon his face. A horrible silence extended out across the court before Laufey stood.

"You will be taken care of as befits an ambassador, Sif of Asgard. However, I must speak with my son urgently. Excuse us."

"With your permission, I would speak with Thor to be certain of his wellbeing."

A wave of permission and a harsh beckon to Loki. He was frightened as he stood to follow through to his father's private meeting room. He glanced back in the hope of receiving some comfort from Thor, but he was busy embracing their Asgardian visitor.

They knew each other then. Perhaps Frigga had sent this Sif deliberately, as though confirming Thor's identity.

The huge door slammed shut behind him and Loki was forced to scramble up onto a chair designed for someone far bigger than him. The indignity did nothing for his nerves and nor did having to face his father's steely stare.

Silence spread between them, Laufey clearly waiting for him to speak and incriminate himself. Loki waited patiently for a question to carefully avoid.

Laufey finally sat back.

"Did you know who he was?" he asked coldly.

"How could I? You captured him."

"You looked into his mind. Did you know?"

"No."

"Loki..."

He knew that tone. The one that said he was suspected of lying, of pretending. Well, not today. He was merely twisting the truth.

"He told me his mother's name was Frigga and his father was dead. For all I know, it is a common name. How was I to know it was THE Frigga?"

Laufey narrowed his eyes at his son and then looked away.

One victory to Loki.

Still, this was dangerous. Laufey was clearly furious that the son of Odin had been under his nose for so long. He could yet decide it was easier to kill Thor.

"He doesn't seem much like a prince," Loki said, swinging his legs.

"Those who do not know they are princes seldom do."

"What are you going to do?"

He tried to sound innocent as he asked it, like his heart wasn't hammering in his chest. This judgement would affect his whole future and he had to be as stoic as possible, watching nervously as his father drummed his fingers on the desk in contemplation, staring out into space.

"Father? What do you plan to do?"

Laufey blinked back to the present and sighed.

Loki felt his heart clench.


	49. Chapter 49

"What will I do? There's nothing to be done," Laufey said. "He is the crown prince of Asgard. He must go back."

Loki's stomach dropped through the floor. No bargaining? No plan? This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"You can't! He belongs to me, you just can't send him away."

Laufey sighed, his huge gesture of helplessness not helping at all.

"This is not just any Asgardian we're talking about, Loki."

"Oh, so if he was just _any_ Asgardian I could keep him?"

"He has to go!"

"No!"

Laufey slammed his hand hard against his desk, sending his inkwell flying in a blue-black arc across the floor.

"Do you know why we won the war against Asgard? Do you? No matter what the annals say, it was not through military prowess or strength or power. It was because Queen Frigga was not there to stop us. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? I knew she was pregnant and I struck when I knew Asgard would be weak because of it."

Loki could only watch as his father sat back, face shadowy and troubled, and suddenly he realised the truth. 

Laufey, king of Jotunheim, conqueror of worlds and keeper of the Casket of Ancient Winters, was afraid. That's what it was. Afraid of what Frigga would do to recover her son. He would not allow Loki to make much of a case for keeping him when Frigga had made her position clear. New tactics were needed.

"If you send him away, I will get sick," Loki said uncertainly, lying. "Separation will hurt me."

He tried to be strong under that piercing gaze. He had to do this for Thor.

"Bonding is not a single transaction," he continued, more sure of his invented logic now. "It is a complex process that must be entered willingly. I cannot abandon him, nor him me. The bond connecting us will make me wither and shrink even more. You cannot send him away or you condemn me to a life bedbound."

Laufey sighed.

"Then what do you propose I do? Should I send my little Loki off to live with those monsters?"

Loki shrugged, trying to keep his emotions away from his face. Laufey looked away, jaw clenched.

"I cannot. I will not risk your life. The last prince we sent them was bred and birthed and killed once he outlived his usefullness by providing an heir and a spare. I will not let that happen to you."

"Bestla died of illness," Loki said without thinking. "He wasn't killed."

"And how would you know?"

Ah... How would he know?

"I read it. In the book you gave me. There was history at the back of it."

"Asgardian lies just like ours! How can you even ask me this, Loki? How can you want to be sent away from your home, away from your family? You need to be protected."

Loki felt the weight of it in his chest. He had had to be protected, all his life. He had had to learn magic to defend himself, not the art of fighting. He had had to stay at home while his brothers went out across the realms. He had had to stay here when out there he could explore and discover and learn...

"I'm not a child anymore, Father. You cannot keep me like one. I am strong, you know I am."

"You are too small."

"Thor doesn't think I'm small!" Loki snapped. "He finds me just the right size. Asgard is the right size for me. Queen Frigga is a great mage, one I could learn much from. Let me go and rule Asgard, let me rebuild it to benefit Jotunheim, to benefit everyone. No more war. No more raids. Trade, cooperation, understanding..."

He had scooted to the edge of his enormous chair and was awkwardly shuffling back when he noted the knowing look in his father's eyes.

"Thor finds you just the right size," he repeated, the question there, heavy.

Loki found his cheeks flushing dark. He'd said too much. His father knew, had guessed that they were lovers. Embarrassment burned within him. He'd be punished for sure, no matter how far it had or hadn't got. How quickly would this spread, the knowledge that he had lain with his pet? He would be shunned for this, mocked forever...

"Does he please you?" Laufey asked.

"What?"

"Prince Thor. Does he please you?"

"In what way?"

"In any way. In all ways. Do you believe you would be happy if you went to live with him?"

Loki's heart hammered in his chest. This was what he wanted. He had to tread carefully.

"At first I thought him a mindless beast. But as we lived together, travelled together, I learned about him. He is loyal and strong and kind. He took such care of me in the wilderness, watched over me, taught me new skills. I almost did not want to return for the adventure was so great... But it was him more than the journey that I loved, I think. I felt safe. He would never let me fall or allow any harm to come to me."

"And Asgard? You think you could be happy there?"

Loki swallowed hard.

"It needs much rebuilding," he said. "But everything is built for people of my size. The palace could fit Helblindi inside easily to visit, but the thrones fit me, the chambers, the plates. I fit there. And I fit with Thor."

He hadn't noticed the tears welling in his eyes until one dripped down his face. This was such a large decision. He would have to leave this life, this palace. His room, his bed, his tailors... Life in Asgard would be difficult, but at least he would be active. He would contribute. He would not be a mere pretty, delicate bauble, but a valued leader. He would not be kept wrapped in blankets for ever, but treated with respect and...

Yes, with a different kind of love too.

Laufey's mouth was twisted, but his eyes soft as he looked at his smallest son, swamped by a too-big world.

"I will send a message to Queen Frigga and try my best for you," he said, standing up. "And I promise, I trust that you know your own mind."

As he muffled his happy snuffling in a giant hug, Loki couldn't deny that being wrapped in his father's huge embrace did still have its perks.

"Thank you."


	50. Chapter 50

How long had it been since a member of the royal family got married? Loki hadn't known just how much preparation there was involved in the whole thing.

Tradition demanded that he spend a full month in contemplation and purification away from his intended. As such, Thor was sent home to Asgard and Loki was left in a room that suddenly felt empty. He did his best to occupy his time, packing his things, sending a few packages ahead to be unpacked again ready for him. He read about the history of Asgard. He exercised. He fantasised about his future with Thor. He even embroidered some shirts to give him, just to keep his hands busy.

A whole month... It wasn't long. Not really. And yet it seemed to last forever.

"You're getting thin, my prince," the tailor said as he measured Loki for an outfit of the finest silk, imported specially from Vanaheim.

"Am I?"

When had he last had any food? He had definitely had breakfast and then...

Ah. Well. He was distracted though. Distracted from eating. Really wasting away, just as he had told his father he would.

He wasn't sure if that was pleasing or distressing. It was certainly unpleasant to be caught in a state of waiting for something to begin, waiting and waiting and being unable to make time progress any faster.

And, of course, Helblindi was a curse unto himself.

"I knew it," he crowed as soon as the marriage promise was announced. "Loki, you little minx."

"Knew what?" Loki asked, all innocence, hoping he'd drop it.

"That you and the little monster were bonded in more ways than one. The glances, the sly touches, the little smiles when you thought no-one was looking... I knew exactly what was going on between you two behind closed doors."

Loki blushed and scowled and cornered his big brother in private to have it out with him. How changed he was. Before, he would have held a grudge and let his upset boil and fester in his heart. His new diplomatic skills told him to stop this immediately with a sharp but, more importantly, brief moment of unpleasantness in order to prevent worse further down the line.

"I'll thank you not to speculate in public about my private life," he said as they took wine together in Helblindi's chambers.

"Speculate?" Helblindi said, eyebrows raised. "Surely not. The deed is done, is it not? Just the ceremony to go to make it official."

Loki winced internally and looked away.

"Oh..." And he was pleased to notice that Helblindi did seem genuinely surprised. "I just assumed that..."

"Well, you assumed wrong. We... We haven't been able to. Not... We haven't been able to do everything, not yet."

How strange to see his brother on the back foot. He didn't know where to look. Or at least, he seemed to look everywhere except at Loki for a long while before frowning and becoming quite serious.

"Were you too afraid?"

Loki blinked.

"No," he stammered. "No, I... I wanted to go further than we had, but he wanted to wait. He said it would be better to wait."

"Then he is wise indeed."

Loki looked at him curiously and then looked away. He wanted to ask so many things and busied himself in looking into his drink, swirling it.

"Does it hurt?" he heard his own voice. "Sex. Does it hurt the first time?"

"Honestly? If done badly, it can, and not just the first time. But it won't, not for you. Someone with enough experience not to rush in will also surely know what he's doing. He'll listen to you. That's the most important thing, to listen to each other."

Loki couldn't deny that his excitement for the wedding was also edged with a little fear. Although he wanted it, that concern was difficult to let go of. It was good to hear that this was likely unfounded.

"Well," he said, downing the last of his wine. "I believe I'm in need of another glass to get through this awkwardness."

Helblindi laughed, shattering the tension.

"Awkwardness? Oh, if that's what you're after, let me tell you about my first time. Picture the scene, thirty years ago, when I was not very much older than you are now..."

No amount of protesting, squealing or covering his ears could save Loki then from hearing far, far more details that he had ever wanted to.

At least he knew his first time with Thor didn't have much to live up to as far as sibling rivalry was concerned.

Byleister's was probably terrible too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sometime since I last updated, this became my first fic to hit 1000 kudos. How on earth did that happen?!
> 
> This is a HUGE milestone for me and I just want to say thank you so much. It really does mean a great deal.


	51. Chapter 51

"Tighter. Cinch it in more."

The silks were beautiful, billowing, flowing like water around his body. But he had worked hard this last week, had eaten properly and managed to become slightly less gaunt. He wanted Thor to see the outline of his body, to feel his waist through layers of cloth.

"Tighter!"

"Wouldn't you like to see it first, your grace? The effect really is stunning."

Loki sighed and obediently turned to the mirror.

Was that really him? The deep blue-grey of the silks was darker than his skin, the shade of the sea just before a storm. Silver threads ran through them, matching the chains and bangles that adorned his neck and arms, the great ribbon that they had tied around his waist and the shimmering powder that picked out his heritage lines. Every candle would make him shine, proclaiming him child of Laufey, a jewel, a beautiful creature. No one could mistake him for a child now. He was small, but unmistakably adult.

"It will do, I suppose."

The tailors sighed happily, glad that their work was appreciated, and produced his most precious circlet. Silver, decorated with rubies and sapphires. He privately thought it would not suit anyone else so well as it suited him. His hair provided the perfect black backdrop for the shining colours.

Jotunheim was hosting, of course. It was easier for Frigga and Thor to travel rather than forcing the entire Frost Giant court to journey to another realm to get their share of spectacle.

He knew that his father had been meeting with Frigga. He had not been allowed to go along to such diplomatic talks and though Helblindi had, he would not confirm or deny whether Thor was present or not.

Ah, Thor... What would he be wearing? Was he nervous too? Did he know everything that he was to do, all the parts of the ceremony? Was it different to what they did in Asgard?

His heart seemed to be ready to burst out of his chest as he stood in the great hall. He had to face away from Thor, looking towards the gathered crowd as they made promises to one another. Only afterwards would Thor come to his side and they would walk out together.

He felt so alone, staring out at the people, hearing the occasional murmur of approval. A few smiled at him. Not pitying smiles, but real happiness for him. He never expected such a thing.

The gasp came before he heard Thor's footsteps behind him. Evidently he was impressive based on the reaction he produced. Step, step, step... Stop.

He could hear Thor's nervous little sigh. He wanted more than anything to reach back, to take his hand. But touch was forbidden during the ceremony.

"Thor of Asgard," Laufey's voice rang out. "Have you spent the required time away from your spouse?"

"I have."

"And how have you purified yourself?"

This was important. Purification was private and personal. Thor would have chosen his own way to prove his worth for Loki.

"I have slept beneath the stars each night, thinking of my betrothed. I have been hardly able to eat. I have spent much time in contemplation and reflection. And I have tried my best to make my home welcoming and suitable for him."

"Loki of Jotunheim, do you find this purification sufficient?"

"Yes. It is sufficient."

As if he was going to say no...

"Loki of Jotunheim," Frigga's voice from behind him. "How have you purified yourself?"

Loki tried to keep his voice steady.

"I have similarly been unable to eat as much as usual. I have dedicated my time to learning, thought and craft to clear my mind. I have tried my best to strengthen my body and mind in preparation for our life together."

"Thor of Asgard, do you find this purification sufficient?"

"I do. Though I do not truly believe he needs purification."

Laughter from the gathered people. Good. They would like Thor for being funny.

"Do you enter this union happily and willingly?"

"Yes."

"Do you give up your life alone for this life together?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand and accept this agreement to be binding?"

"Yes."

The questions flowed over Loki almost without him hearing it. Thor was _right there_ and yet he was unable to turn and look at him.

The applause took him by surprise.

He startled when a hand touched his shoulder, turning to find Thor smiling at him. His hair was neater, held back in a loose tail and decorated with a subtle gold crown. Loki's hands moved by themselves, finding Thor's waist to pull their bodies together, desperate for such simple touch.

"Hello," Thor said, eyes shining.

Loki couldn't speak. He was overwhelmed.

_Husband._

He kissed him.

Now there were cheers.


	52. Chapter 52

Married. They were married. Thor was holding his hand and looking stunning in white armour and a crimson cloak, almost exactly the same colour as Loki's eyes.

"I've missed you," Loki said as they walked through the crowd of wellwishers.

"I've missed you too," Thor said.

How had he even heard over the roar of the people? They were loved and adored, or so it seemed. Had he always had this affection or was it a byproduct of forging a new peace with an old enemy?

He barely heard the speeches. They weren't really to do with them anyway, more about the future of the two realms.

And besides, Thor was laughing good-naturedly with all around them, joking about how nice it was to sit at the table rather than under it. Not that he had minded sitting at Loki's feet, of course, he said.

Laufey had spared no expense. The feast was extravagant and showy, imported delicacies and enormous portions that even giants would struggle to finish. Frigga politely ate what she could, but Loki was sure Thor could handle more than he was taking.

"You must be hungry after going without much food for a month," Loki said. "Please, eat."

"I am hungry," Thor admitted. "But not for food."

Ah, he was trying for romance perhaps? Loki was only too happy to play along and allow himself to be charmed.

"For what then?" he asked innocently, eating another frozen sugar grape and licking his fingers to watch Thor watch him.

"I am starved of you," Thor said quietly, managing a little privacy in the bustling room. "I'm hungry for your voice and words, your very presence. Just sitting here with you is nourishing me like the best of meals."

Loki nodded vaguely.

"Anything else of mine you hunger for?"

Thor let out his deepest laugh, a soft but heavy sound. It sent shivers through Loki as usual. Warm, delicious shivers.

"I might ask you the same question. Have you been hungering for anything?"

"Not hungering. But I have been feeling rather cold. I am in desperate need of being warmed up. Of having some kind of warm, loving creature beside me in the night to hold me. My bed has been so empty and cold."

"When it needs to be filled instead?"

Loki dropped his fork, fortunately unladen. Filled? Could he mean...?

"Have you been learning about your natural powers?"

"Almost constantly," Thor said, slightly wearily. "Mother is thrilled that I have finally shown some aptitude, at least, for something magical. She has been teaching me how to control it. How to manage it."

"So... Well, then we... Yes?"

"If you want to."

Loki looked at him, eyebrows raised, and burst out laughing.

There was no "if" about it, just a "when".

As in, when could they leave the hall without causing a scene?

Loki tried to find opportunities, waiting for others to begin leaving the celebration, but no one seemed to want to. They were all enjoying themselves far too much.

And he was enjoying himself too, of course, basking in happiness, he just wanted to enjoy himself elsewhere. Like in his room. With the door locked.

"Well, my goodness," Frigga said from somewhere opposite him. "I find I am quite exhausted from all this excitement."

Loki glanced across and saw one of her deliberate blinks. Her missing eye was now concealed behind an elegant patch of white gold. Her clothes were beautiful too, a pale peach shade which set off her skin. Sometimes Loki thought he caught just the edge of a spell laced into it. Protection? Or perhaps just a charm against tearing. He could ask when they reached Asgard.

"Oh, as am I," Helblindi said, yawning loudly. "Totally worn out and ready for bed. Wouldn't you say, Loki?"

He was going to have to get used to blushing. Still, they were only trying to help and this way he could stand and take Thor's hand, sweeping out together towards private chambers.

"You're trembling," Thor said as they neared his rooms.

"I'm excited."

"Just excited?"

Well, no... He wanted this, but he was nervous too.

"Just be gentle with me."

Thor pulled him close, into that embrace he had missed so much. Comforting. Loving. Loki breathed in his scent and his warmth, such familiarity.

Tilting his head just right found Thor's mouth, waiting for him to claim it and push until he could open the door and ease them both inside.


	53. Chapter 53

His hands wandered. His fingers tried to find their way in behind Thor's armour, past the leather and metal that hid him, tugging uselessly at it.

"Off," he mumbled petulantly against Thor's lips. "I want this taken off."

Thor chuckled, threw off his cape and set about undoing far more buckles than could possibly be necessary, slowly revealing a thin shirt that Loki pounced upon, shoving his hands under it to feel his flesh.

Just to feel. He could wait before seeing. Instead he pulled Thor towards the bed and pushed him onto it, clambering happily into his lap.

Yes, this was what he needed. His legs loosely wrapped around Thor's waist, his fingers skimming over the gold of his crown, feeling strong hands holding him close for deep, slow kisses. He could stay here for a while, just like this.

It wasn't exactly surprising when Thor found the tie of his belt and began pulling. The silks billowed out, falling almost open but concealing all the same. A suggestion of nudity. A promise to be kept.

And feeling Thor's touch on his bare skin... Even on his back, the sheer heat had him rolling forwards, trying to get more. More contact, more touching. Thor swept a fold of fabric out of his way to rub a thumb over his nipple, playing with it until it stiffened proudly.

The thought struck Loki suddenly. Thor's problem was cured. They could be mutual. He could touch and play and make Thor moan too.

Such pleasures were not to be waited for.

He yanked Thor's shirt off, dislodging his crown in the process to fall forgotten to the floor, his own circlet soon joining it. A push had Thor flat on his back, legs dangling from the edge of the bed and smiling up at Loki, happy to let him be in control for now.

His nipples seemed to perk just from being looked at and reacted very favourably to being touched. Thor's breathing grew heavier. He liked this treatment.

Well, then he might like something more, Loki reasoned as he leant forward and took one nub in his mouth, sucking on it.

"Mmm..."

An unguarded sound of pleasure, something Loki wanted to hear again and again, moving to the other side as Thor's chest heaved beneath him. So sensitive. Had anyone else ever discovered this?

Thor's hands were suddenly firm upon him, pulling him up.

"I must taste you," Thor said breathlessly. "I have been dreaming of it. The feeling of your thighs clenching around me, the moans you give to me. Lie back, darling, please..."

The silks soon lay scattered all around as Loki eagerly spread his legs, preening as Thor's eyes roamed over his bare flesh and glittered up at him before lying down to begin.

Such a tease... He kissed all the way from Loki's knees to almost where he needed him, beard tickling his sensitive skin. He took minutes about it while Loki grew more and more restless, tossing his head on the pillow.

"Thor..."

"Yes?"

"Come on. Please."

His body almost convulsed at the feeling of Thor's tongue, the way he took to his task with such enthusiasm, making Loki cry out.

He had tried to recreate this feeling during their time apart. He had tried to warm his fingers, tried to rub in just the right way. But it wasn't the same. It was pleasurable, but it hadn't had the unpredictability that Thor had, that constantly shifting pattern and responsiveness.

And yet...

"Stop. Thor, stop."

A look of absolute panic from between his legs, Thor so concerned that he would call a halt.

"What is it? Too much?"

Loki laughed.

"No, not too much. Not enough, in fact. I... I'm ready."

Thor crawled up his body, planting the occasional kiss against his skin. Already he had traces of Loki's silver powder all over his face.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Loki wrapped his legs around him and arched up into a kiss.


	54. Chapter 54

"Oh..."

He had imagined how it might feel when Thor entered him. He expected the fullness, the heat, the feeling of being open.

He had not expected the emotion it would provoke in him.

Chest heaving, he clung to Thor, stilling him and digging in his nails just a little.

"Are you alright?" Thor's voice, soft and soothing from somewhere near his right ear.

"Yes. I just... I need a moment."

"Take as long as you need."

That's what he said, but Loki could feel his muscles twitching. He was having to concentrate very hard on not moving. His instincts were no doubt screaming at him. Loki knew, because his own were beginning to make themselves heard.

 _Move,_ they said. _Take._

Loki rolled his hips, not quite sure that it would work. He wasn't even sure what working would feel like.

He gasped. Thor moaned. A little like that then.

_More. More!_

Like he was reading Loki's mind, Thor began to move, smooth and steady, a constant motion as Loki panted beneath him. He could barely coordinate himself enough for kisses though he desperately wanted them. He wanted all of it, the feeling of Thor's hands on his flesh, his breath hot against his skin, the gentle scrape of his beard.

"Loki... Mm, Loki..."

"Hah... Ah, Thor."

Pleasure built within him with every thrust, his cock pressed between their bodies and rubbing against Thor's stomach in ways that shouldn't have felt so good. He needed more, faster, harder.

His voice wasn't obeying him. All he could manage were moans and desperate whispers of Thor's name.

He'd been so nervous, but that was all forgotten. His body seemed to know what it was doing, finding a rhythm with Thor's motions.

"I can't... Ah, can't hold off much longer."

Thor was going to spill and it was his doing. His body. A strange sense of power rolled over him and he decided it was time for a little experiment.

He deliberately flexed his inner muscles, deliberately clenching and Thor practically yelped.

"Good?" Loki asked, finally getting control of his own tongue.

"Oh, _Loki_..."

Yes, that was what he wanted. Thor moaning his name, worshipping his body, waves of pleasure rolling over both of them. This was perfect. And it was only the beginning. Soon they would learn new things together, discover different positions and activities, find out what they each loved best.

Thor wrapped a hand around his cock, so warm, stroking just the way he liked. His eyes were smouldering, smiling against Loki's skin as their pants grew heavier, each of them trying to last longer.

"Come on, darling."

"No, you first."

"No..."

Well, maybe he could let Thor have this one.

His hips were still rolling into Thor's thrusts and he let the sensations overwhelm him, let them push him higher and higher, gasping for breath as he hit the crest, body shuddering with it.

Thor moaned above him and he felt it, the pulses inside him. It had been almost simultaneous. Together.

They were both panting as Thor gently moved off him, a little moan of loss escaping Loki's lips as he pulled out quickly soothed by more gentle kisses and Thor's hands stroking his skin.

And then he had a wicked idea, leaping out of bed and rushing to the window.

He was definitely leaking a little, but he couldn't bring himself to care. In fact, he liked it. It was proof of what they had - finally - done together.

"What are you doing?" Thor asked, sounding sleepy.

"Oh, nothing. Just checking for floods."

Thor laughed, hauling himself to his feet and coming to join him, wrapping both arms around him and kissing his neck.

"Come back to bed. I wasn't done cuddling you."

Loki span in his grasp, resting his hands on Thor's shoulders.

"Carry me."

Hands on his waist, a lift, both legs around Thor's hips.

"I could get used to this," Thor said. "Having you in my arms at any moment of the day. Being able to kiss you whenever the whim strikes me."

He carefully deposited Loki back into bed, slipping back in beside him and cuddling him close.

So familiar. So safe. His bed felt more like home when Thor was in it.

"I think I love you."

Thor chuckled, vibrations running through the mattress.

"I know. I love you too."


	55. Chapter 55

"Keep your eyes closed."

"I am keeping them closed!"

Oh, but Thor didn't want to risk him taking a peek, covering them with one of his huge hands.

The journey to Asgard had been deceptively easy. The Bifrost was an extremely convenient way to travel, if a little nauseating at first, and even meeting Heimdall again hadn't been so bad. He seemed to be glad to have a real purpose again, his golden armour shining, the scars around his eyes now tended to and healing.

Loki had expected to go and unpack, tour the palace to see what had changed, maybe go into the city and see some of the people who had returned to help rebuild.

But Thor insisted that there was something for him to look at first and so Loki had found himself walking blindly down corridors and carefully up a set of stairs, suspicious as he distinctly heard a door open.

Thor was still covering his eyes, but he was clearly doing something with his other hand, reaching around Loki's body to do so.

"Alright," he said, letting go. "You can open them now."

It took a moment for him to focus.

And then he gasped.

A projection of Yggdrasil hovered before him, its branches reaching up to the ceiling of an impressively large room, great orbs representing each of the nine realms suspended in them like enormous baubles.

And between them, a golden thread, weaving its way from Asgard through Alfheim and Svartalfheim, Vanaheim and Niflheim, Midgard and then back.

"What is this?" he asked, walking amongst the lights for a better look.

"You wanted to see the universe. So do I. This is the path I thought we might take."

Loki felt his jaw drop, his eyes wide and surely reflecting the bright lights in the same way they were bouncing off Thor's hair. Every friendly realm... Not the inhospitable fires of Muspelheim or the strange dead wastes of Helheim, but so many other wonderful lands, places he had only read about.

The chance to go to all of them? To see so many other worlds and to have Thor by his side all the way? He could not imagine anything more perfect.

Except...

"When? Soon? But surely we shouldn't abandon the realm when things are still so tenuous. I would hate for it to appear that we are not performing our duties properly."

Thor smiled at him, a strange blend of fondness with just a hint of smug.

"I knew you would say that," he said. "Which is why I will now tell you about the special role we will be performing for the good of Asgard."

It was simple, really. They were to go and spread the word among all the realms that Asgard was once again prosperous and welcoming all - not just displaced Asgardians, but inhabitants of any land - who wanted to help rebuild and make a home there.

Ambassadors, of a sort. They would be representing Asgard and the new peace with Jotunheim. It was exactly the kind of responsibility Loki had always wanted, to be able to use his skills and show what he was capable of. Getting to see so many beautiful places as well? Quite the bonus.

He looked again at the golden thread as Thor came to join him, wrapping his arms casually around him from behind.

"Surely there aren't any Asgardians living on Midgard?" he asked, frowning at the last destination.

"Well, no, but... We might need a rest after all that diplomacy. A nice little realm, far away from politics, no-one to bother us? I thought it sounded very pleasant indeed."

Loki leant back to capture his lips in a kiss. It was a fine plan, one he was absolutely ready to undertake.

"You do realise I'm going to have to have full control over the intinerary?" he asked as they broke apart. "Where we're going, what to see, what to eat..."

His whole body vibrated as Thor laughed.

"I would expect nothing less. Now, let me show you the kitchens. They've changed a lot since you were last here..."

Being led through the corridors of the palace that was now his home, holding hands with his husband before squealing as Thor playfully swept him into his arms, planning the journey of the millennium...

He couldn't have imagined this all those months ago at his coming of age ceremony.

But even Loki had to admit, he had received the best gift of all.

His future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we go. Thank you so much for all your encouragement over the last 55 chapters. I know I say this a lot, but it really does make all the difference. I love you all very much.


End file.
